July 14, 2012
I groaned, rolling over. I opened my eyes, looking at him.
Me: What, Justin?
Justin: You're coming to work with me today.
Me: I don't want to distract you.
Justin: You won't, baby.
I sat up, running my fingers through my hair.
Me: How are you so sure?
Justin: You'll see.
He sat up and kissed my nose, getting out of bed.
Justin: Come on.
I sighed, getting out of bed.
Me: Let me take a shower. I'll meet you downstairs.
He pecked my lips and walked towards the closet.
I'm beginning to worry about her. She pushes me away whenever I want to cuddle, she never talks to me anymore, and sleeps on the couch every night. Was it something I said? Plus, when I go check on her, she's talking to herself and constantly rubbing her stomach. If she thinks she's fat, she's not. I hate it when she's insecure. She's flawless and beautiful and she needs to know that.
We got out of the car, holding hands.
Me: Dawn, are you okay?
She looked up at me, nodding.
Dawn: I'm fine.
I knew she was lying, but I shook it off. We walked towards the director, dancers and the other actor for this video.
Dawn: Where's the main girl?
Me: She's holding hands with me.
She stopped, her hand dropping from mine. I stopped as well and turned to face her.
Dawn: You chose me to be in your music video?
Me: It kinda makes sense, considering you're my girlfriend and I wrote this song for you.
She embraced me in a hug, then kissed my lips. How I've craved to have her lips on mine. She pulled away, smiling.
Dawn: Thank you.
Me: Anything for my girl.
She smiled, taking my hand again.
Director: Let's get started, shall we?
Mom: Dawn, why don't you tell him already?
Me: It's hard to, mom. Ever since I didn't see him after we had sex, I've been nervous to talk to him about everything.
Mom: You need to tell him before someone else does.
Me: I only told you and Pattie. I haven't told anyone else.
Mom: Just try to tell him.
Me: What if he thinks I cheated? What if he leaves me? What if he doesn't love me anymore because of it?
Mom: Look, everyone knows how much Justin loves you. He wouldn't leave you for anyone else. He went to look for you, right? If he didn't love you, he never would have brought you back. He would have left and moved on.
I sighed deeply, running my fingers through my hair.
Me: I just don't want to put more pressure. He's already stressed from Avalanna being put in the hospital multiple times and this next music video.
Mom: Well, tell him when he's not as stressed.
Me: Mom, you had me at this age, remember? And you didn't even tell dad you were pregnant.
Mom: I know, but I didn't tell him because my dad was already upset that I was pregnant and I didn't want him to hate me, too.
Mom: Look, just tell him before he leaves for tour. If you tell him afterwards, he'll think you cheated on him.
Mom: I'll talk to you later.
Mom: Love you.
Me: Love you, too.
I hung up, walking back to Justin. Handing him his phone, I intertwined our fingers.
Justin: Remind me to get you a new phone tomorrow.
I nodded as he kissed my cheek.
Justin: We have one more scene and we're done for the day, okay?
I nodded. He kissed my temple as we walked back to the set.
I watched her as she stood on the balcony. She hasn't spoken to me all day and I'm dying to hear her voice again. She'll talk to her friends and everyone else, but she won't talk to me. What did I do wrong?
It's obvious she's hiding something.
She's hiding something from you, Justin.
She tells me everything. She doesn't hide anything from me.
If she wasn't hiding anything, she would be talking to you right now.
My conscience has a point. Even though I didn't want to believe it, it was the truth. If she's hiding something from me, then she doesn't trust me. I got up from the bed and walked towards her. I wrapped my arms around her waist, causing her to jump a little.
Me: It's just me.
I kissed her cheek, looking at her. Her eyes were on the sky, the stars shining above us. I sighed, kissing her cheek again.
Me: Why won't you talk to me?
Dawn: It's hard to.
Me: Can I at least know why?
She sighed, turning around to face me.
Dawn: Ever since I woke up that morning after we made love, I've lost trust in you. Considering you were there like you promised you would be, I was unable to tell you anything. Plus, with all this pressure being put on you, I didn't want to add my problems to the pile. You let me alone all day for a whole week and didn't bother to call. I honestly thought you moved on, but my heart said otherwise.
She cupped my cheeks in her cold hands.
Dawn: I'm afraid to lose you and I'm afraid you're slowly slipping from my fingers. I love you, but at this state I'm in, it's hard to trust you. I was kidnapped and you found me like you promised. I know you love me, Justin, but I can't help but feel like if I tell you my problems, you'll push me away and let me deal with them on my own. I love you, Justin, despite my trust issues.
I had nothing to say. I never knew she lost her trust in me. I understand her, though. If I had been through all of that, I probably wouldn't have spoken, either. I leaned down and presses my lips to hers. No words were needed during this moment. She's lost her trust in me ever since I got up to make her breakfast that morning. I love her so damn much. I need her to know that. I'm always here for her whenever she needs me. I'm never leaving her. Ever.
I pulled away, smiling down at her.
Me: I'm always here for you, babu. You can trust me. I love you.
Dawn: I don't want to lose you.
I moved a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.
Me: You're never gonna lose me. Ever.
She smiled, pecking my lips. I took her hand in ,mine, lacing our fingers together.
Me: Let's get some sleep, okay?
She nodded. I kissed her forehead as we walked back into my room.