*December 31, 2011 ~ 10:15 AM
It's been more than two weeks and I'm falling even harder for him. He's so sweet and whenever a guy tries to hit on me, he gets all defensive. Honestly, I think he's cute when he's mad. His cheeks get all red and his jaw tightens.
We're in New York City right now, Justin on stage in Time Square for rehearsals. I'm actually very excited for tonight. Normally, I'm not, but I'm with Justin this time. Plus, we might be able to get our New Year's kiss in as well. Well, that's if Scooter isn't around to see.
Right now, I'm on the phone with my friends.
Sky: Okay, spill.
Me: What are you talking about?
Adriana: You and Justin.
Mia: Ugh, you and Justin are together? Why?
Tori: Guys, let her explain.
Me: Thanks, Tori.
I took a deep breath.
Me: Can I start from the beginning?
Me: Okay. So I didn't talk to Justin for a week-
Mia: Good job.
Adriana: Shut up! She's not finished.
Me: I didn't talk to him for a week because I caught him missing another girl and I was heartbroken.
Sky: That's how it started?
Me: Yeah. Anyways, he tried to explain it to me, but I wouldn't listen and ran out of the house.
Mia: Nice job.
Tori: Don't be rude.
Mia: I'm just saying.
Me: So once I ran out, I bumped into a guy. I tried to push him away, but he kept pulling me back. Eventually, I got tired of it and punched him in the face. Then he hit me and I fell. He was gonna hit me again when Justin pushed him into the wall.
Mia: Did Justin get punched in the face.
Me: No. Actually, he punched the guy in the face and the guy and off bleeding.
Tori: Aw, that's so sweet of him.
Mia: How's it sweet?
Sky: He protected her.
Me: Can I finish the story?
Sky: Sorry. Continue.
Me: Thank you. So after that, he tried to convince me the girl kissed her, but I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. Then he put his hands on my face and...
I bit my lip, smiling as I remembered the first kiss we shared.
Adriana: And what?
Me: He kissed me.
A, S, T: Aw!
Tori: What, you're not happy that she got her first kiss?
Mia: No, not that. It's just...why him?
Me: Because we love each other.
My cheeks turned crimson.
Me: Shut up!
Mia: Well, I gotta go. Stupid parents.
Tori: They always ruin everything.
Adriana: Especially dads.
Me: Can we leave the 'dads' thing aside?
Me: Mia, get going before you get in trouble again.
Mia: Peace out, guys!
Then she hung up. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair.
Adriana: Sorry for bringing that up.
Me: It's fine. What you said was the truth anyways. My dad's a douchebag.
Sky: Well, not all dads are like that.
Me: Well, you're the only one, besides Mia, that has two parents living together. Sure, Tori and Addy live with one parent, but they still get to see the other. Me? My dad didn't even care about me. He cut me in the arm, called me a slutty ass bitch and told my mother she should have had an abortion when she had the chance.
I could feel tears coming to my eyes.
Sky: Dawn, I-
I hung up before she could even continue. I put my head in my hands, silently sobbing.
Tori hung up the phone, shoving it into her pocket.
Tori: You shouldn't have done that, Sky.
Sky: How on earth did I know she was gonna react that way?
Me: Guys, it's my fault. I'm the one who brought it up.
Tori sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
Tori: Let's just prepare for tonight.
Me: This early? We should wait a few more hours.
Tori: Ugh, fine. But I'm going back to sleep.
She laid down, covering herself up.
Sky: So what do you want to do?
Me: Let's watch Nauruto to let the time pass.
She nodded and turned on the TV.
I got off the stage and made my way over to Dawn. She had her head in her hands. Is she crying? I ran over to her .
Me: Dawn, what's wrong?
She refused to look at me. I sighed, wrapping my arms around her. She rested her head on my chest, tears soaking my shirt.
Me: Can you tell me what's wrong?
She took a deep breath before speaking.
Dawn: I was talking to my friends and Sky mentioned dads and I got upset, and...
She stared crying again. I rubbed her arm, trying to calm her down.
Me: You flipped out because of your dad, didn't you?
Me: Look at me.
She shook her head. I put my hand under her chin, lifting her head up so her eyes would meet mine.
Me: If he refuses to care for you, then let me be the one the sew that heart of yours together.
I kissed her forehead, letting go of her.
Me: Come on. Let's get back to the rental.
Dawn: Are you finished with rehearsals?
I grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers. We got up and walked away from the stage set up in the middle of Time Square.
He turned the TV on, Breaking Bad showing on the screen.
Me: So what's going on tonight, besides New Year's Rocking Eve?
Justin: Well, I don't have to be there until around seven, so maybe we can just hang out here.
I nodded, looking at the TV.
Justin: I know you refuse to talk about it, but...
I got out of his lap, standing up.
Me: Don't bring up my father again. I don't want to talk about it.
Justin: I understand that, but...
Me: If you understand it, then leave it alone.
Me: DROP IT, JUSTIN. JUST FUCKING DROP IT!
I ran up the stairs, my hands covering my face as tears ran down my cheeks.
I got up from the couch, following her up the stairs. She ran towards my room.
Me: Baby, I-
She cut me off by slamming the door in my face.
Me: Dawn, I didn't mean to upset you. Can we talk about this?
She didn't answer. I sighed and turned the doorknob, opening the door. She was lying down face first on the bed, crying her eyes out. I closed the door behind me and sat down beside her.
Me: Please don't be mad at me.
Dawn: Just leave me alone.
I went to rub her back when she shot up from the bed.
Dawn: Don't touch me.
Me: I'm trying to help you.
Dawn: Don't bother.
She got up from the bed and headed to the door. Before she could walk out, I stood up, grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me. She pushed me, but I grabbed a tight hold of her arms so she wouldn't escape.
Dawn: I hate you, Justin! I fucking hate you!
She started crying again and stopped struggling to get out of my grip. She put her head on my chest, her tears hitting my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her.
Me: You don't hate me. I know you don't. You just hate the fact I always bring up that asshole.
Her sobbing slowly died down as I continued to rub her arm.
Me: Look at me.
She shook her head.
She signed and slowly lifted her head up. Her eyes met mine, tears falling from them. I put a hand on her cheek, wiping the tears away.
Me: I'll always be here for you. I won't leave you. Ever.
She sniffled before replying.
Dawn: Promise me you won't bring my dad up again?
I didn't answer. I'm not so sure I could keep that promise. She was hurt when he left and I want her to explain it to me so I won't do the same. Plus, it's the same with my dad. He left my mom when I was younger and he considered leaving me to learn on my own a mistake. He's still around to teach me,but still. I don't want to make the same mistake.
Dawn: Justin, answer me.
Me: I'm not so sure I can keep that promise.
She closed her eyes and let out a calm breath. She opened her eyes and looked at me.
Dawn: I'm just gonna have to get used to it, then.
She pulled out if my embrace and sat down on the bed.
He sat down next to me, taking my hands in his.
Justin: I love you. And I promise you I won't mess up.
Me: I believe that, Justin, but...I'm just scared.
Justin: Scared of what?
Me: That you'll leave me if something goes wrong.
I lowered my head. I really am scared. I've never been in a relationship because I was scared the person was with would walk out on me if something happened. I love Justin, I really do, but I'm afraid he'll walk out on me like my dad did.
Justin: I wouldn't leave you for the world. You mean too much to me for me to just get up and leave. I felt his hand under my chin as my head was lifted. My eyes met his and I could tell he wasn't lying.
Justin: I love you too much to let you slip away.
He moved a loose strand of hair out of my face, resting his hand on my cheek. We sat there in silence, just staring into each other's eyes. His gaze occasionally went from my eyes to my lips then back to my eyes. Eventually, his gaze stopped on my lips and he slowly leaned in. Whenever he leans in slowly like that, my heart rate quickens. His lips gently brushed against mine, sending chills down my spine. He noticed and chuckled.
Justin: I love you, baby.
Me: I love you, too.
Our lips finally connected, sparks exploding in my stomach. He gently bit my lip, asking for entrance. I smirked, refusing to let him in. I felt his hand slide around my waist towards my butt. He squeezed my butt, making me gasp in shock and gave him the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. As we kissed passionately, my arms snaked around his neck, my fingers running through the hairs on the back of his neck. One of his hands slid under my thigh, pulling on my leg. Our hips were now touching, his left hand on the mall of my back. He slowly leaned forward, making me fall backwards. I fell onto the bed on my back, our lips not parting. I gently tugged on the hairs on the back of his head, receiving a grown in return. His lips left mine and came in contact with my neck. Before his lips could reach my weak spot, I gently pushed him away.
Me: Not now, baby.
He nodded, kissing my lips again.
Justin: I love you.
Me: I love you, too.
He smiled, pecking my nose as he rolled off of me. I let out a yawn, rolling onto my side to cuddle with him.
Justin: You tired?
Justin: Take a nap. I'll be here.
I nodded and closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I kissed her forehead as she fell asleep in my arms. She's definitely gonna need some sleep, since we'll be up all night. I don't mean having sex, dirty minded people. I meant since it's New Year's Eve, we'll probably be partying it up tonight.
My eyes, slowly closed, thinking about my girl.
She walked out of the bathroom in her clothes for the day. I smiled, getting up off the bed and walking over to her. I moved a strand of her hair out of her face, resting my hand on her cheek.
Me: I love you so much.
She smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck as she stared into my eyes. My arms snaked around her waist as my lips connected to hers. I love her lips against mine. I feel happy and it puts butterflies in my stomach. I gently pushed her into the wall, our lips still attached. Just then, I heard a door slam open from downstairs. She pulled away, leaving me confused.
Me: What's wrong?
Dawn: My dad.
I took her hand in mine.
Me: Come on.
Me: I promised you I wouldn't let you deal with him alone and I'm not letting that happen. Come on.
She sighed and nodded. I smiled as I pulled her towards her balcony. I opened the door, letting her go ahead of me. She thanked me with a kiss on my cheek as we walked out onto the balcony. I climbed down the ladder and landed on the grass as her bedroom door slammed open.
I held my arms out so I could catch her. She climbed over the balcony railing and pushed herself off. I caught her in my arms, putting her down.
Jordan: Get back here!
I grabbed her hand as we ran for my car. I heard gun shots from behind me and felt her hand slip from mine. I turned around to look at her. Her face went pale and she collapsed to the ground. I ran to her side, looking down at her.
Me: Baby, what happened?
I looked down at her body, my eyes stopping on her stomach. Blood poured out of her stomach as her hand tried to cover up the sight. I heard another gun shot, my arm going numb. I felt blood oozing out of my arm, the pain shooting through my body. I held my arm as I put my right hand on her cheek. Her eyes slowly started to close. I gently slapped her cheek, trying to keep her eyes open.
Me: Keep your eyes open, baby.
Her gaze landed on my arm, so I turned her head until her gaze met my eyes.
Me: Keep your eyes on me.
Her breathing shuttered as she rose her arm. Her hand was covered in blood, the warm liquid coming in contact with my cheek. She tried to speak, but no words came out. Only blood.
Her body vanished in front of me as a single tear fell from my eye.
My eyes fluttered open as a phone went off. I sat up, seeing Justin's phone lighting up beside me. I looked at the screen, 'Mom' blinking repeatedly. I answered the phone.
Pattie: Oh, Dawn. I didn't expect you to answer. Where's Justin?
Pattie: Oh. I guess I'll calk him later. I'm here in New York, by the way.
Me: Oh, okay. I'll tell him when he wakes up.
Pattie: Actually, can you not? I want to surprise him.
Me: Okay, I won't.
Me: No problem.
Pattie: I should leave you two alone. I'll see you tonight.
I hung up, putting his phone back down. I looked at Justin, seeing a tear slip from his eyes. Wait, what? I looked at him, seeing another tear. Is he crying? I gently shook him to wake him up.
He shot up from the bed, breathing heavily. Tears rapidly ran down his cheeks.
He turned to face me.
Me: Are you o-
He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine as his hands cupped my face. He pulled away, looking into my eyes.
Me: Justin, what's wrong?
Justin: Don't leave me.
My eyebrows knitted together, then my eyes went wide. He had the nightmare. The exact same kind I had. I put a hand on his cheek.
Me: I won't.
I leaned in, giving him a gently kiss.
Me: That's my promise.
He wrapped his arms around me, silent tears falling onto my shoulder.