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27. To win!

I felt a hand that caught my hand. I heard sobbing and I felt that someone was sitting next to me. I noted that I recognized the hand, but couldn't bother me. I heard the doctor said something and I heard how the person mumbled something in reply. 


The hand held my several days and finally I chose to carefully look after who it was. I saw Niall, but at the same time not. I saw through him in a way. His eyes were filled with tears and he looked at me with a devastated look. 
"Lilly, you mustn't die!" 
I gulped, thinking. Didn't he want me to die? 
"I will sit here until you stand up." he said. "Please promise to come back. I need you!" 
I balked. Did he need me? I had fucked everything up and he really needed me?


One night I woke up and still felt his hand. He sat next to me in a chair and slept, but he held my hand. I looked at him and heard him snoring quietly. It was like something woke up in me. Niall was really there and he didn't give up hope. Why did I give up everything? I felt that my throat was dry and I realized that I couldn't talk. I was quite dull in the body and couldn't even lift up my hand. Still, he woke up and he was startled when he met my gaze.
"Are you awake?" he whispered and smiled. A faint smile that was contagious. I smiled back and tried to say something, but nothing came out from my mouth.
"That's all right." he whispered. "You don't need to talk. I know you love me and your mom told me it all a few days ago. I will not give up. I will stay and I intend to keep you, even if you're a little weird."
I smiled and felt the tears came. Niall took directly up his second hand and wiped them away.
"Don't cry, honey. It 's nothing to cry about."


I had an miscarried, but Niall chose not to attach big importance to it. 
"We are young and we can have lots of children." he said and laughed. "I'm glad you survived and it doesn't matter. Doctor said you were not far in the pregnancy."


I got to leave the hospital a Wednesday and Niall had already moved my stuff over to his house. Somehow, I was no longer afraid. I wanted to be with him and he meant more than I thought.


Niall lifted me over the threshold, just for the sake. 
"I have to practice!" he said, looking teasingly at me. I looked down at my hand and on the ring was again there. We had chosen to continue where we left off, but with more experience. Niall realized that I didn't want to get married right away and we chose to wait. It was as if he realized he was too quick with everything. He had wanted so much that it became too much for me the first time he asked me. Instead, he took a step back and let me decide some parts too. I decided that we would stay in his house. I was curious how he lived. I wanted to be near his stuff and I wanted to know everything about him, we hadn't talked about it all.


"Niall?" I asked when we would fall asleep. "May I change in some rooms?" 
He looked at me and laughed a little bit. 
I looked at him and smiled weakly. 
"I want to make it a little Lilly here to and not just a bunch of Niall!" 
He nodded and understood me. He kissed me lovingly and took his arms around my body. 
"You may change what ever you want, just the guitars remain on the wall." 
I laughed 
He nodded with satisfaction. 
"And I want that kitchen as it is, because it's pretty recently renovated." 
He nodded with satisfaction. 
"But otherwise you choose honey."

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