Find me


15. Decision

Niall phoned the first evening via skype and this time we had the camera running. 
"I miss you!" he whispered and looked at me. "Can't you come with us? I've checked with the management and they gave a yes." 
I swallowed. 
"Niall, this is all new for me and I don't know if I'm ready to take that step yet." 
He sighed. 
"You know me and I promise to take care of you., I'm ready to tell this to everyone, if that's what you want?" 
I shook my head. 
"Then I will not be anonymous!" 
He agreed. 
"I know, but what would you have us to do? I love you." 
I smiled. 
"I love you, and we are young. Why must everything be done now?"
He ran his hand through his hair. 
"Because I don't want us to be separated." 
I smiled a little bit. 
"But we managed before?" 
He smiled weakly. 
"I've had a taste of you. Now I can't get enough of you." 
I blushed and put myself comfortable in bed. I put the laptop on my stomach and smiled at him. 
"Niall, take it easy and I will not leave you." 
He sighed. 
"I know, but I want you here."


It was hard not to tell it to my friends. Everyone was talking about One Direction and I heard how they gossiped about everything. 
"I was in the stadium and saw them!" said one girl. "Then they are so good and damn what fancy they are." 
I laughed quietly and sat down on a chair farther away. I heard they were talking about the music and the stage. I realized that everything would be changed if Niall showed me openly. I would be recognized, at least where I lived. I didn't want it. I realized that there was much that was added when I chose a famous person. I was going to be an easy target and I was such a girl who didn't like too much criticism.


Yet rumour was scattered like wildfire through the web. Right as it was, there appeared a picture of me and Niall. They didn't see that it was me who was sitting at the table, but they saw that it was a girl. 
"Fucking flat!" wrote that comment. "How could she?" 
I swallowed and saw how twitter started writing hate about me and my personality. 
"Have Niall said that? Thus, it's not true?" 
I swallowed and tried not to take it personally. 
"She's ugly, though we don't see her, she's ugly!" 
I just wanted to cry.


 I was surprised one afternoon. Niall wrote the truth online, on twitter. 
"I'm dating a girl and who she is, I will not tell you today." 
The fans wrote everything from "Follow me!" to "Niall, it can't be true!"
I smiled weakly as yet there were those who were on our side. 
"Congratulations Niall! You deserve to meet the love!" 
I smiled and felt my whole heart was warmed. 
"Niall, take care of her and I hope she'll take care of you."


In the evening I spoke to Niall again. 
"I'm sorry but I couldn't be quiet." he mumbled. "I know you don't want to be known and so far no one knows it's you?" 
I smiled at him and saw a tired Niall in the computer. 
"It's okay, but I don't like what the fans write." 
Niall smiled and he seemed not to care. 
"They are who they are., I have the best fans in the world, but this part is my private. About a month or two, no one cares."
He lay down on the bed, and put the computer on the stomach. He looked at me and I couldn't stop looking at him. 
"So how was the day?" 
Niall sighed. 
"I guess good!" he whispered tenderly. "We're doing a new album so it becomes much about music right now." 
I loved what he said. 
"Fun!" I exclaimed. "You are doing so great music so it will surely be good."
Niall laughed lightly. 
"Well, we'll see. There are just some songs that are ready and we are about to choose sound and more. Takes time!" 
I nodded and saw that he almost fell asleep. 
"Niall your tired?" 
He nodded and yawned slightly. 
"Well, I didn't sleep last night. When we had finished talking, Harry started harping about music and more. Then we sat and wrote a song together., I'm tired!"


Life went on and it went on a month. The fans began to ask if anyone had photos on Nialls girlfriend, but no one even knew I existed. 
"Maybe he's lying?" said one on twitter. "Maybe he wants us to believe that he's taken?" 
"I think it's to hide Narry!" wrote another and I laughed. Did they think Niall and Harry were a couple? I grinned and wrote a comment. 
"Niall isn't with Harry!"


The school went on. I had exams and in the middle of the spring, it was always tough. I was tired of it all some day, but I knew I would soon be finished. 


"So tell me about your Niall!" 
It was Emma who came up that we hadn't talked about him in a long time. I smiled at her.
"What do you wanna know?" 
She sighed. 
"Is he good looking or who was it you met?" 
I swallowed and lied. 
"He has brown hair, blue eyes and looks cute." 
Emma laughed a little bit. 
"Well, then he fits with you." 
I looked coldly at her. 
"How do you mean?" 
She sighed a little bit. 
"You've said it yourself? Nice guys don't want ordinary girls, and you're an ordinary girl."
I decided to bite the bullet and looked down at the book. 
"I'm not like that, I'm just me." 
She laughed 
"You have changed your mind since you got boyfriend. Perhaps that was what you needed. So when do I meet him?" 
I swallowed and came up with new lies. 
"When he's free., He works a lot and late nights., I guess he's off in the summer." 
"Do you have a photo of him?" 
I shook my head. 
"No I haven't." 
She looked strangely at me and I knew how it sounded. 
"No photo of the guy?"


It felt strange to have to lie. I told it not to Niall, but slowly I started to almost get tired of the lies. I was with a wonderful guy, and nobody was told anything about it.


"Talk to Niall about it!" Mom said to me and smiled. "Maybe he can come up with a solution?" 
I sighed. 
"Solution? Either we are together or not, what's the solution?" 
She sighed. 
"Yes, it's not easy to know what to do."
I looked coldly at her. 
"Mom, he's famous and I don't want to be known just being a girlfriend." 
She looked at me for a long time. 
"That should you thought of before you said yes to him ..." 
She was right. 
"Yeah, but I just want so much, but can't do anything., He wants me to go with him in the bus and I'm too afraid to dare."
Directly she sat down beside me. 
"Honey, are you in love with him and would you bet on him?" 
I nodded 
"Of course I want to be with him and I love him!" 
She smiled. 
"You don't bet anything on him. He puts it all on himself and you give no more than a few calls. Ride with him, check it out and responding to future then."


Niall was overjoyed that evening . 
"So you come?" 
I smiled and nodded. 
"I guess so. But how do I get to you?" 
He cheered and took up the mobile phone. He made ​​a call and spoke with someone else right in front of the computer. 
"Yes, she's coming here." 
Niall looked at me and smiled big. When he was done, he seemed to jump out of luck. 
"There's a car to pick you up tomorrow."


Mom helped me pack and she then gave me a long hug. 
"If it doesn't work, you get to know it now. Then you still trying?" 
I nodded. 
"Thanks Mom!"

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