"I don't like you."
"I never said you had to."
"You don't understand. I really don't like you."
"I don't like you with a burning passion."
"Yeah? Well so does everyone else. Go join the party."
"No, you really don't understand."
"You said you don't like me like ten times already. If I don't understand by now, then there is seriously something wrong with me."
"No, I don't you like you so much, that I like you a lot. Like a lot."
"There's something wrong with me because I really don't understand. What the hell are you trying to say? I like you, too."
"I... never mind. I don't like you."
"What the fuck is wrong with you today?"
"I really don't like you."
"If you say that one more time, I will give you a reason not to like me."
"I don't like-"
"Finish that sentence and I will blow smoke in your face."
"You in so many dark colors."
"That sucks for your eyes."
"I don't like how you are always sarcastic and tease me."
"That sucks for you."
"I don't like how you can be so quiet sometimes. I don't like how you choose to not talk to me."
"Again, that sucks for you."
"I don't like how you can be unsympathetic sometimes."
"I was born this way."
"I don't like how you didn't have a happy childhood or nice parents."
"I'm over it, sort of."
"I don't like how people don't like you."
"You're a hypocrite! You said you don't like me."
"I don't like you."
"Is this going somewhere because I don't know whether to thank you or punch your face?"
"I can go on and on talking about what I like about you. There's so many things about you that I've noticed over the.... few months I've known you."
"You should tell me everything you like about me so I don't feel like punching you now or ever again."
"But you know, there's always this part of me that seems to come out every once in a while. It's the tiniest part, but it's there. That's the part that doesn't like you."
"I feel like we're talking to the air instead of each other. Are you listening to a word I'm saying? Are you okay? I'm smoking a damn cigarette, not weed."
"Have you ever wanted to tell someone something, but you were too afraid to say it because you don't how they'd react?"
"No, actually I'm afraid they'd cry and never want to talk to me again if you catch my drift."
"Have you ever met someone who changed your life?"
"Uh... actually, to be honest.... I have."
"Have you ever been afraid of losing that person?"
"Yeah." Emily breathed, finally giving me her full attention. She had taken a step forward causing my guard to fall and my mind to haze for a few moments before I blinked myself to full awareness.
"The last few days... week actually, have been weird."
"Yeah, really weird." She said softly and I stared at her for a moment as my confidence drained.
"It was like one day we argued and another we wouldn't talk, while the next we were happy."
I was dragging on what I wanted to say because Emily was showing no sign of noticing. Maybe I could bail and just forget about it. I was not going to tell her that I love her. I was only eighteen, I didn't know what love was anyways. Truthfully, I had never been in love and I knew the way I felt about Emily was different. But it didn't matter because I just admitted I don't like her. It was stupid. She would most likely laugh or actually punch me in the face. Actually, this sounds like some pathetic romance movie.
Damn it, I sound like Emily.
"But today is a good day." I decided to say with a half smile.
"It... is. You want to know something?"
"You're the biggest fucking freak I know. You're completely weird and I don't like you. I never have." I gulped because she had taken another step forward and dropped her cigarette, and though her words weren't too harsh, I knew it wasn't going to end well with whatever she was going to say.
"I'm sorry?" I said, unsure of what she wanted me to say.
"I don't like how you are so nice and have such a dorky smile. I don't like how you are just you. You see things positively and you... it's like you have hope which is stupid. I don't like you."
"It's not okay because... because... damn it! It's not okay because for the first time I actually care about a person. I actually care about you, Niall, a lot. Like a lot."
"No, you're not supposed to thank me."
"I don't know what-"
"You're a fucking idiot." Emily smiled, confusing me even more.
I didn't see where Emily was going with what she was trying to say. One minute she didn't like me and the next she was complimenting me. And to top it off, she didn't like my reaction. As I thought, Emily moved extremely close to me. I was already leaning against the wall of the apartment building, so I didn't know what to do. I watched as she stood on her toes and... holy shit, I was not expecting this from her. She was so confident, but at the same time hesitant.
Her lips ghosted over mine while she breathed deeply and I'm pretty sure she was thinking about what she was doing. I had this strong feeling in the pit of my stomach and at the back of mind that she was going to back away, so I did what she originally intended- what I've been secretly dying to do because after all, I'm just an eighteen year old boy- and kissed her. If I had known that this was the key to kissing her and that she even wanted to, damn it, I would've done it a long time ago. It was nothing like I had expected or thought it would be like; it was better by a hundred times.
"You're a strawberry." Emily giggled after she pulled away and I blushed even harder because I didn't know I was blushing. And wait, had we just kissed?
"I... that-" I didn't know what to say. What do you say after you kiss the girl you've been madly and secretly obsessed with? She left me with this bitter and awful taste in my mouth, but I didn't care; I wanted more.
"It was gross, wasn't it? No, it was bad. I don't know how to kiss. I thought it was an instinct." Emily rambled as she looked down, avoiding my face. I hadn't noticed, but her arms were around my neck and- when did I put my hands on her waist? Instead of trying to notice everything, I took my hand and lifted Emily's chin up.
"That was amazing." I assured, finally feeling confident and sure of myself. Emily didn't seem persuaded and the more I looked at her, the more I wanted to kiss her again.
"I don't think this was a good idea." Okay, I didn't have much experience, but I'm sure no one wants to hear that coming from the person who they desperately want to be with.
Emily slipped out of my hold, and as soon as she was free, she was gone. I felt like punching a wall, screaming and even crying at the same time, and I'm not ashamed with the last one. She basically just said she regretted it, she regretted the kiss. She's so frustrating and just... mean. She's mean to be screwing with my feelings like that. It's funny how fast time changes. It's funny how people can change. A girl who said she doesn't like people or love kissed me, and I know she felt the same things I did during it. But instead of embracing it, she ran away and I hate her for that.
I should've never said anything. I should've never done anything. But it was her fault. Emily had to take me outside and light that stupid cigarette as we always do. Emily had to smoke it and I just had to enjoy every second as always. Of course it was the wrong moment, but the wrong moments always feel so right. It's crazy how I don't want to take back that kiss, though. I hate Emily so much.
Gahh! That was..... unexpected. But Emily once said to be prepared for the unexpected