*****WARNING******* This story contains graphic material such as depression and self harm. DO NOT read if you can't handle such topics.******
I slam the bathroom door shut, locking it behind me, before falling onto the floor and letting out heart wrenching sobs. My razor sits on the counter, begging me to drag the sharp, shiny blade across my paper thin skin. The blade neatly slices deep into the skin on my thighs, and next my hip. Blood comes pouring out of the wounds and I start to feel slightly dizzy. I lie down on the carpet in front of the toilet, letting the blood run down my half naked body. Suddenly there’s a loud bang on the other side of the door.
“Holly I’m home, what do you want for dinner?” Louis says with no idea of the condition I am in where he can’t see me. Oh god what have I done. The one person that means everything to me is going to find me, with blood everywhere. He starts pounding on the door getting worried. His voice is the last thing I hear before passing out.
*One week later*
“Your cuts are healing nicely Holly, are you ready to go home today?” My doctor asks me while putting new bandages on my thighs and hips. I nod biting my lip to keep from crying out at the pain under the bandages.
“Hey Hol, how are you feeling honey?” Louis says walking into the room with a cup of tea in each hand. He looks hurt, and angry but the one emotion I see most in those beautiful eyes is guilt.
“I’m feeling better, thank you for the tea” I say when he kisses my cheek and places one of the foam cups in my right hand.
“No problem baby, I just have some papers to sign then we can go home.” I nod before he walks into the hallway talking to a nurse, going over discharge papers I assume.
I sit up and walk across the room to grab the bag Louis packed me. Looking at the clothes he packed makes me smile and cringe at the horribly mismatched outfits. Nevertheless I put on the terrible outfit choice and walk out of the room moving over to his side. His arm snakes around my waist in half a second and he takes the bag from my hands. We silently walk out of the gloomy hospital and make our way to his car on the outskirts of the parking lot.
“I have to stop and get you a prescription.” He mumbles staring at the ground. This is routine for us by now. I’ve been to the same hospital 4 times in the past 3 months for the same reason every time. “You have to go this time Holly.” My head shoots up to meet his emotionless gaze.
“No, no Louis please don’t make me go I’m trying really I am I swear I’ll stop please.” I beg him as tears fall from my eyes. I don’t need to go into treatment. I can fix myself I know I can.
“This is the fourth time Holly the doctor isn’t giving me a choice anymore its mandatory.” He sates with tears brimming in his eyes. I nod and sit in the passenger seat in his car. I’m lost in thought as we drive to the pharmacy. How long will I have to be gone? What if Louis gives up on me? I can’t even think about it without a piece of my heart being torn to shreds.
A/N the next few chapters will tell you more about Hollys past and why she has issues with depression! Sorry this chapters short its just an into chapter!