As soon as i heard Louis say "Yes." I felt embarassed. Had i offended him? Naaah. I dont think so.
"Sorry Louis." I said.
"It's okay Lil. I guess you can't blame girls for not playing sports and doing exercise and all them boys sports." Louis said.
"Are you calling me a boy?" I said trying to hold back the anger and maybe sad tears. Had he just insulted what i loved to do.
"Aah We can say that." Louis said.
"Well let me just say this "Boy" is someone you dated." I said.
"Well let me just say i regret that." He said with no emotion but i suppose he meant it.
"That's enough." Harry said.
"Harry this is a conversation between Liliana and I." Louis said angrily.
"No. It "was" a conversation. But no longer is it one. And i guess i regret it to. Because you made me go through so much. You're a dick. But i guess that im not gonna hold a grudge because you're protecting your girlfriend to bad it wasn't like that with me." I said.
"Sorry." Louis said.
"Harry can you drive me home please." I said. Completely ignoring Louis's apoligie.
Eleanor walked over and said "Louis lets go have some fun."
Louis nodded and stood there to look at me for a couple seconds. And then mouthed "Sorry." I could see the pain expression he had. Truth is i did believe him just not enough to talk to him about it ever again. I just wanted to forget about today.
Harry picked our stuff up and went to ask Zayn for the keys. And liam said he had forgotten something so he was coming too. We got in the car and Liam said he'd drive. Harry and I got in the back. And we were off.
After 50 minutes we got home and i took out the keys and opened the door. I put the stuff inside and Liam went upstairs to get what he forgot and when he was ready to leave. He asked Harry if he was going back. And harry said "No." And without thinking i said "Harry please go i want to be alone." He didn't want to but after a couple minutes i convinced him. I closed the door with a fake smile and as the car left. I broke down.
I couldn't help it. I knew Louis didn't mean it but the way he defended Eleanor. Was hurtful. He'd never do that for me. I'm worth it. Maybe that's why were not together. Anymore. I went upstairs and unloked a box i had under my bed it was full of blades. I took one out. And sliced my wrist 10 times. Untill it was covered in blood. Than i just sat there with my back against the wall. And i locked the door just incase someone came. Who am i kidding? No one's gonna come. I was alone. By myself. And i was scared. Scared of myself. I hadn't cut for years and now that i did it. It felt like i couldn't live without it. And then There was a knock on the door.