It was Saturday early in the evening, and I was just chilling in the living room watching TV while eating food. My phone rings and the caller ID is Caitlin. I pick up the phone and answer “Hey Caitlin.” She replies “Hey Jasmine. So do you know what you’re wearing to the party yet?” I flinch “Nooo, am I supposed to?” She exasperates “Well the party is tonight!” I reply “Yeah but it’s only 6. Aren’t you getting there at like 10 or something?” She says “Well yeah but don’t you want to wear something cute?” I chuckle “I don’t exactly have a lot of ‘cute’ clothes to wear.” She laughs “Oh please I’m sure you do. You don’t have to dress super slutty.” I take a sip of water and I almost spit it out. I yell “Caitlin!” She casually asks “What?” I reply “I’m not dressing slutty at all, hell no. There is no one I need to impress anyway even if I would.” She giggles. “If you say so.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see. She then adds “Well okay, I’ll come over in 3 hours, see you then!” She hangs up the phone and I throw mine across the room. I put my feet up on the coffee table and dig in to my bag of chips. I swear sometimes my friends were just crazy. Maybe a bit too crazy for me.
“Jasmine..Jasmine!” I hear someone calling my name. I slowly open my eyes and see Caitlin and Erin standing right in front of me. I quickly sit up and blink my eyes open a couple times. I yawn and stretch my arms out. “What time is it?” Caitlin says “Uh 9, and you haven’t even started getting dressed for the party!” I realized I fell asleep while watching TV and eating food. I get confused and ask “Wait, how did you two get in my house?” Caitlin points to the door and says “Uh your doors weren’t locked?” I roll my eyes and throw my head back. It honestly feels like everyone is always telling me that..or maybe just Jason. I get up and say “Well let’s go upstairs, and I guess I’ll put on an outfit.” I run up the stairs and they follow behind me. Once we all walk into my room Erin jumps onto my bed and Caitlin starts digging into my closet. I sigh “Just to let you know I’m not wearing anything special, just saying.” She replies “Don’t worry, this isn’t the type of party where you dress skimpy.” I give her a smile and nod letting her know that that was good I guess. She was wearing skinny jeans and a leather jacket with a cute shirt. Erin was wearing something sort of like it, but not quite.
Eventually I just put on skinny jeans, vans, and a white flowy shirt. My hair and makeup was the same since I’ve been wearing earlier although I just touched up a little.
Once we are all done and stuff it was already 10. We head out to the front of the house and use Caitlin’s car to drive to the party.
We drive up to the house where the party is. It is huge and crazy packed with people. We get out of the car and walk in. We push through all the people and head to the kitchen area where there is the drinks and stuff. Erin nudges my arms and says “The party also goes all the way outside in the backyard. The pool is huge, people are swimming. I figured none of us wanted to do that because you know.”She gives me a look and I just nod. I didn’t want to go swimming especially somewhere crazy like this where I didn’t even know anyone.
All three of us were just hanging out talking, and I was just trying my best to enjoy myself. Then all of a sudden Erin’s eyes widen and she says “Oh gosh.”I ask “What, what’s wrong?” She points to someone and I look in that direction. She was pointing near the entrance where the door was and she was pointing at Jason. He walks in with his possey following behind which I was guessing was his friends. He was just walking in and came to the party. He was wearing a black leather jacket like he does pretty much most of the time and looked cocky and pretty intimidating to some people. I didn’t even know he was coming to this party. It was also kind of weird since he hadn’t talked to me since the little thing we did last night. On top of that, Caitlin and Erin didn’t know and I knew they would kill me if I told them what we had done. Caitlin groans “Ugh, I didn’t know he was coming.” Erin rolls her eyes “Neither did I.” I don’t really know what to say so I hesitantly say “Soo why is it bad if, if he’s here?” They both give me that look like I said something completely crazy. Erin lets out a breath “Jasmine, I’m starting to believe that you have a thing for Jason.” Caitlin adds in “Yeah, you kind of seem into him I feel like.” I give them a confused look “What, me? No. Jason’s not my type.” Erin nods and says “Yeah, I don’t think you’re the type to like a bad boy.” Caitlin says “You deserve a gentlemen.” I give them a slight smile. Although I felt like they didn’t need to tell me what they thought I ‘deserve’ or what my type is. He may not seem my type and maybe he isn’t, but that doesn’t change the fact I’m somehow into him. We all shrug off the topic and I glance back over to him. He’s chugging down a bottle of beer, already. I look away back to Caitlin and Erin. Except they weren’t even there anymore. I look around and I see Caitlin flirting with some guy and I see Erin not too far away from her grinding against some dude. I sigh figuring they clearly ditched me, at least for now.
I turn my head over again and I see Jason talking to some girl. She was wearing a tight dress and had brown hair, lighter than mine. He was leaning his hand against the wall while he was smirking and talking to her as she was playing with her hair. I couldn’t even see her face or what she looked like, just the back of her and the front of Jason.
He grows a stupid smile on his face and he starts leaning in to her and making out. Like heavy making out, he was sticking his tongue down her throat and I was absolutely disgusted. A part of me was angry, hurt, sad, and furious all at the same time. It’s not like I should care and it’s not like I can be mad. We never said we were dating or together, I just made out with him twice. I felt embarrassed, stupid, and idiotic for falling under his spell. And I just can’t believe they were right. My friends, mom and just everyone who was telling me he was a player and would do exactly what he just did. The fact that last night I practically threw myself at him, and even started to unbutton my jeans for a complete douche bag. I knew he was a tool from the day I met him. I just don’t know why I’m so naïve.
I wasn’t gonna let him make me feel like shit or sad. I was gonna brush it off like I didn’t care. Why should I? Although he kept making it seem like he wanted me for these past weeks, kept trying to lead me on and then when he finally gets what he wants he moves on to the next? Pathetic.
I walk over to a table where they have a bunch of drinks. I needed to loosen up. I wasn’t going to go too crazy but just one drink should be okay I thought. Right? A guy walks over to me and asks “Want a shot?” I hesitate and unsurely say “Sure.” I look over to Jason again and he’s still french kissing that girl. I felt like throwing up. Once he hands me the shot I shoot it down my throat with no hesitation or anything. I shut my eyes and I’m feeling how strong that stuff was. The guy looks surprised “Wow, I’ve never seen a girl chug down a shot like that.” I just giggle to myself. He then says “I’m afraid I’ve never met you before.” I reply “I’m Jasmine, I just moved here.” I turn my head and I see Caitlin trying to tell me something. She mouths “He’s hot.” and she gives me the thumbs up. I grin and I look back over to the guy I was talking to. He asks “Who did you come here with tonight?” I shrug and look down at my feet “Just my friends.” When I look back up at him he stares. He browses pretty much my whole body, I guess checking me out and he puts his hands on my waist. I get a little uncomfortable considering I didn’t know this guy and I bet he was drinking a bit. He tries to lean in to my face to kiss and I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t move.
All of a sudden someone pushes his chest and says “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” It was Jason and he was fumed. He yells “You touch my girl again like that, I’ll kill you.” I swear he gave that guy the death stare. I pull Jason by his jacket and whisper scream at him in his ear “Jason I’m not your girl, what are you doing?!” He grabs my arm and says “Come on.”
He pulls me outside in the front where barely anyone is at. I yell “Are you out of your mind?!” He replies “Are you out of your mind? What the hell were you thinking doing shit with that guy you don’t even know.” I scoff “I didn’t do anything and why should it matter to you even if I was?” He says “Stay away from him and never talk to him again.” I roll my eyes. “Oh so you can stick your tongue down another girl’s throat but I can’t kiss another guy? I don’t have to listen to you. And what do you think you’re doing by calling me your girl. Clearly I’m not your girl if you’re swapping spit with another one.”
I cross my arms and Jason tries to reach to touch me but I pull away and step back. He gets sympathetic as his voice softens “Jasmine it’s not what you think.” I reply “Hmm I think it is. You got what you wanted from me Jason. I embarrassed myself last night. I can’t believe I was gonna …I don’t know, do some stupid stuff with you before you stopped me. You stopped me because you realized I don’t meet your expectations, clearly.” He throws his head back “Jasmine stop. You know that’s not true.” My emotions started to get to me as my eyes lightly well up with tears from my feelings although I never let a tear slip as I say “Everyone told me to stay away from you, everyone told me you were just gonna use me and I didn’t believe any of them. Cause you still want to give people a chance but in reality they’re just exactly what they’ve been said they are. He sighs “But I’m not what people have said I am Jasmine.” I roll my eyes “Obviously you are.” I look down out of disappointment.
I look back up at him and add “And you want to know what really sucks about falling for a guy you’re not right for? You fall for him anyway because you think he might turn out to be different.” I look at him for a second and turn around as I’m about to walk away. But he grabs my wrist stopping me. “Wait.” I look down at his grasp on my wrist and look back up at him. I demand “Let go.” He asks “Wait so you’re falling for me? You like me?” I sigh “Yes I just basically poured out my feelings to you and embarrassed myself. Happy?” He lets go of my wrist. He huffs “Look, last night I stopped you because I freaked out. I mean, I know where things were heading and I know you want your first time to be special and that moment was just not the right time. I would feel guilty if we did it as just a one night thing. I actually care about you. I never cared for a girl like I do for you.”
I pause for a second and I hesitantly ask “Is that why you were acting sort of strange?” He replies as he’s trying to think “I mean, yeah. I knew you were just feeling it in the moment but you would regret if you did anything later. I needed time to think. And I was only thinking what was best for you.”
I blink at him. “Wow. You actually do have feelings.” I nod my head down out of astonishment. I add “And out of all the few people you care about, you care about me?” He slowly nods “Yes.”
There’s a short pause but then I say “I just didn’t realize that you would lead me on last night and make me feel like we had something and then just completely betray me tonight,” I start to think to myself and add “Well..I guess we were never really anything, so I don’t have a right to be mad. Maybe I just got the wrong impression,” Jason interrupts “No, no it’s my fault. I’m really sorry I hurt you Jas, I really am.” His voice sounded so sweet and innocent like he was truly sorry and pleading for forgiveness I noticed. He continues “It’s just I had a couple drinks and…” he trails off. I shake my head “It doesn’t matter Jason, we’re not dating so you can do whatever you want with whoever. But you can’t just keep calling me your girl in front of people. I’m not yours.” He looks up at me and stares in my eyes “But I want you to be.”
He leans over to whisper in my ear and whispers “You can trust me.” He lingers his head by my neck as I can feel his hot breath breathing against my ear and as I stare into space. I slightly shake my head while I whisper “I don’t know if I can.” He backs his head away and he scans my face. He asks “..Why?”
I reply “I can’t just give all my trust to someone like that. Especially to someone like you. Who doesn’t know what they want.” I turn around and walk off back into the house where the party is. Leaving Jason out there, in rejection.