"IF you have a party I need to know who's coming and I need to be in contact with ALL of their parents. IF you're having it in the pool the boys WILL be there to watch over you guys. Understood?"
Maddie and I nodded frantically. Mid-summer party is official.
"I'm serious Jamie."
"I got it mom."
She rolled her eyes and looked at Maddie, "You'll do it right, won't you MJ?"
"MJ, Maddie Jordan, I like it Mrs. Payne."
"Honey, we've known each other long enough for you to call me Eden."
"Oh but it reminds me of your wedding day" Maddie chirped. My mom tinged with a grin on her face.
That day was sooo boring.
Everyone kept giving me jobs and I was dads best man so that made it worst.
I was happy for my mom and she was super flustered the entire time, especially when she got carried away with that kiss. Bleh.
"Now it's time for the couples dance."
"Finally" I muttered, wanting to get away from this altar. Dad lead mom to the dance floor and I tried my hardest to disappear from all the family members. Especially Grandma Karen. She has a habit of ruffling my hair and doting on how I supposedly look like my dad.
I was just about to round a corner when I hear "Noah mi angelito."
Okay...first of all my abuelita is the most confusing old lady in the world but don't call her old. I can't understand what she's saying half the time. Her spanish accent is way to strong to understand. I don't know how my mom does it. Well, I guess because my mom's bilingual and usually speaks spanish with her. That's not the point!
I can't be seen by her but I guess it's too late. "Hi abuelita" I mumble. "I haven't seen you in years. Come give me a hug." I reached my arms at and she nearly squeezed the lights out of me.
"How are you? Where's you're little girlfriend?" she smiled. I wanted to groan but this was my abuelita I was speaking to. "We're not little, we're eleven and she's not my girlfriend."
"Oh but she will be. Trust me, you see your mom and Liam over there?" she pointed and I followed. I saw my mom and dad kissing as they swayed to the music. They pulled away and smiled, nuzzling their noses together. Ew.
"Yes I see them."
"They were best friends when they were younger. I guess one day they found a liking to one another."
"Thanks for the history lesson abuelita but I have to go."
She sent me away with a fat kiss to my cheek.
I walked around seeing many people but still feeling alone.
Where is she?
She was one of the bridesmaids and now I can't find her.
I heard sniffling and sobbing from behind a tree. I went to see who it was and saw Maddie there. Her dress had dirt on the knees and her face was tear streaked. "What's wrong?" I asked. She looked a bit startled to see me. She wiped at her eyes and stood up, dusting herself off.
"You're crying. You can tell me why."
"I can't remember my dad" she mumbled.
"I can't even remember what he looked like or what we used to do together."
"You were still a baby Maddie."
"I was three" she spat.
"I sort of remember when I was younger...asking about my dad all the time. These days I figured out why my mom cried so much. She loved him, you know?"
She wearily nodded, wiping another tear.
"Hey, you're okay" I whispered, gathering her close to me and wrapping my arms around her.
"I'm so sensitive. I'm supposed to be happy for your mom" she tearily smiled. I rolled my eyes, "Why?"
She gasped, leaning back to look at me, "It's her wedding day, she's been waiting for this for a long time. Did you know your dad proposed to your mom when you were like three? That's forever!"
"And how do you know this?" I chuckled. "You're mom likes to vent to my mom and we both know how she can't keep a secret."
I laughed because that was very true. "Are you okay now?" She nodded, "Yeah, let's get out there."
We walked back to the reception and my mom immediately swiped me away. I felt bad for leaving Maddie but seeing her start dancing with Logan made me nearly laugh.
"You having fun baby?" my mom asked. I couldn't help but smile at her even though I was sort of tired of being here. She was pretty and looked so excited.
"What was wrong with Maddie, she was gone for a while."
"I don't think I should say." I didn't want to keep anything from my mom but this wasn't my business to tell.
"I understand. Come and dance with me." I wanted to groan but if it made her happy then I have to.
We swayed around to this really corny love song. "You know your staying the night with Sydney right?"
"Yeah but I don't know why me AND Logan have to go there. Logan doesn't have anyone to be with."
"He can be with you, Jamie. Let him play with you and Maddie."
"Mooommm" I whined.
"Do it for me. Liam and I are going on our honeymoon. Just for a week."
"Okay, I'll let him play" I sighed.
Just then dad came to us. "Hey you wanna dance Jamie?" he asked. I hesitated for a bit but I don't want to lie to him. "Uh, no thanks. Later mom" I rushed and walked off. From behind me I heard my moms soothing voice, "He's probably just tired. You can dance with me." Then I heard a smack that sounded like lips together...ew.
End of Flashback
"Is that a yes? You know Jamie won't follow rules" she teased. It was partially true.
"Yes Eden" she giggled.
"Wait" I turned to Maddie,"If we have it next week will you...um...be on your...you know."
She tinged, taking a quick glance at my mom then back at my with a scowl. "Noah" she hissed, shoving me a bit. "It was a valid question" I mumbled, rubbing at my shoulder.
I looked over to my mom, silently telling her to get lost. She narrowed her eyes at me before turning and leaving.
"Don't just say that in front of your mom. She doesn't know."
"It's not a big secret. Don't all girls have it?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want everyone to know. And to answer your question...no."
"That's great! I'll tweet out to everyone."
"Wait, don't tweet. You know how fans and paparazzi are, they'll show up."
"So we'll make a list of these people who we want to come and DM them. Sound like a plan?"
"Let's get started."
She grabbed our bowl of chips and I grabbed drinks as we walked upstairs to my room. She brought out piece of paper and laid it on her lap as she sat on my bed. I sat beside her, looking over her shoulder.
"Okay so should this be a school thing or for everyone?"
"Everyone" I answered.
"Alright, well...oh my cousin will be in town and she's a year older than me. She can come."
I nodded, "Okay."
I watched as she wrote down Katherine.
"Carter" i suggested. She wrote down his name. "And Tilly" she added.
"Alex" I teased. She groaned, "No." "Why not?"
I knew Maddie didn't really like her. Alex has been hitting on me since the beginning of seventh grade and it's ridiculously funny seeing Maddie's reaction. I wouldn't really date her because a lot of people just want to know me because of my dad.
"You know I don't like Alexandra. She always tries to push me out of the way and talk to you. It's rude." "You know that would never happen, we're like attached at the hip" I joked but she wasn't laughing. "Don't invite her" she seethed.
"Okay then I'm inviting Donnie."
"Yeah, if you invite Alex I'm bringing Donnie. You did say everyone can come."
"Fine" I grumbled.
We wrote down a few more names before Logan cam prancing into my room. "Get out" I ordered as he jumped onto my bed. Maddie nudged me, "Be nice."
"What do you want?" I asked. "I'm bored." "Go play or something." He pouted, "No one will play with me." I opened my mouth to say something but Maddie beat me to it.
"We'll play with you right after we're done planing this okay?" she said. He smiled widely.
"Planing what?" "A party." "Really? With cake and everything? Can I come?" "Sure" Maddie agreed the same time I said, "No."
"Why not?" he asked. "You have an appointment remember." "Oh, Mamie can I tell you something" he asked, peeking at Maddie. "I'll be back" she excused herself and left my room.
"What's up Logan?"
"The-The other day I...um...had another accident."
I wanted to scold him for being so careless about his health but he's only ten. "How did it happen?"
"I was in my room jumping around on the bed and...you know...being superman but then I couldn't breathe. But I had my inhaler!" He rushed the last part as if to make the situation better. "That's not the point Logan. You know better than to over work yourself and you were alone. What if you didn't have your inhaler?" No matter how annoying he is I still worried about my little brother.
"I don't know but please don't tell mom or dad. I already have an appointment next week, I don't want to make them more upset."
"They don't get upset, just worried. I am too. How about after your appointment you can join us and we'll have some treats laid out for you." "Thank you Mamie" he mumbled, hooking his arms around my neck. I rubbed his back. "I'm scared...all the time" he whispered. "I am too."
Yes, I'm scared for my little brother.
I'm scared that one day he won't have his inhaler and no one will be there. I'm scared he might make his heart give too much and wear it out. I'm scared for him.
"That's your bathing suit? It's like two pieces of fabric" I deadpanned, looking at what Maddie was wearing. "It's called a bikini idiot. Do you like it?"
Well...yeah I did but it was showing way too much. "Aren't you suppose to leave little to the imagination?" She scowled, "Shut up. We're gonna be in a pool so no big deal." "If you say so."
"Where are your swim trunks?" "I was going to put it on but you came in here..."
"Oh, well hurry up! People are coming in like half an hour" she said and left my room. I put on my black swim trunks and left downstairs. Opening the sliding door to the back yard was a breath of fresh air.
"Noah." I looked around to see who called my name. "Oh what's up man?" I asked, doing that little bro hug with Carter. "You're backyard is sick! How come you never invited me?"
"If you haven't noticed, we live in London. The weather is shit." He chuckled, "True" he said, his eyes wandering around the people who were starting to come. "Whoa, who is that?"
I looked where he was looking and saw Maddie and Tilly dipping their feet in the pool. "Who Tilly? Yeah she's somethin'." Tilly was a close friend of Maddie's...besides me of course, but they couldn't be more opposite.
Tilly was loud and bubbly while Maddie was more self reserved. Her eyes were a deep brown when Maddie's were bright green. She had blonde shoulder length straight here while Maddie's were auburn curls...but not today.
"No the girl next to her." I raised an eyebrow, "That's Maddie." "Oh shit! I'm gonna go talk to her." To hell he was.
My mom and Eden were poking and prodding at my face, trying to apply this make up. My mom was really open to the idea that Eden got to dress me up. Right after I left Noah's room to get to the backyard they bombarded me with questions and dragged me to the bathroom.
"Done" my mom clapped excitedly. Eden straightened my hair and even snipped my split ends. They were going completely too far with this party.
"You think she looks alright?" Eden whispered to my mom. "Yeah, she's ready."
"She's right here" I bit back. "Feisty, I like it" Eden commented. "Here, let me fix your top." My mom pulled my bikini top up and squeezing newly full breast. I swatted at her hands, "Mom!"
"Okay sorry, they're just...there." "Well don't touch them!" She rolled her eyes and turn to Eden.
"You know she got her period last month?"
"Oh really? That's great honey" Eden smiled.
What is wrong with these women?
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. Whoa.
"Pretty right?" Eden commented. "Um" I swallowed, "y-yeah."
I looked so different. More mature in a way. Why does my mom approve of this?
"What's all of this for?" I asked skeptically. There gave each other a knowing look. "Nothing" they said at the same time.
"Sure...nothing." My phone vibrated. "Tilly's here I gotta go."
"Good luck" they called after me. What?
Tilly and I were by the pool, walking around the edge. "You look different like sexy in a way."
"Really? Mine and Noah's mom got me all dolled up for no reason."
"The party maybe?"
"Trust me, this party isn't the big of a deal."
"Not now but later...hell yeah it is."
"I don't know bu-"
"Hey Maddie." I turned to see Noah's friend, Carter. We never really talked so I was confused as to why he was talking to me. "Um hey Carter." He blinked a few times looking a bit shocked. I bit my lip in confusion. Noah soon came to our little group. He took a double take on me.
Do I really look that bad?
"What happened to your face?" he asked trying to suppress laughter.
I guess I did. I lightly gasped at the slight wrench my heart made.
"Noah!" Tilly scolded.
My eyes stung and I feared that I was going to cry. I hollowly laughed, "I know, I look weird...um...I'm gonna go a-and take it off." I walked away, ignoring Tilly calling my name.
As soon as I stepped into the house I bolted to the bathroom.
I ran water and fiercely scrubbed my face, my tears mixing into my face. My sobs making my chest and throat hurt. I don't know why it hurt so much but, damn, it did.
I got a handful of water and dumped it over my head, ruffling it up. I grabbed a nearby towel, not caring whose it is, and dried my hair so it can curl up again.
Stupid stupid stupid.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. Eden walked my way and stopped once she saw me. My face was probably all red.
"What's the matter honey? Why'd you take off your make up?"
"I looked dumb" I mumbled. "Oh no your mom and I thought you looked lovely."
"Noah didn't" I whispered. "What?" "He um...he laughed at me."
"He what? I ca-" "He was right, I looked stupid. Thanks for trying" I mumbled and walked away.
I was on my way back to Tilly. She was red in the face, looking as if she was yelling.
"Maddie?" I saw Donnie come towards me. "Oh hey Donnie." "Wow, um, you look nice" he said, gazing at my attire. "Really? You think so?" He raised an eyebrow at me, "You always look nice." My cheeks tinged, "Thank you. You just got here?" "Yeah, I was looking for you." "Oh, well here I am" I giggled. "Come get a drink with me" I suggested, grabbing his hand and taking him to the cooler.
We talked a bit and he kept complementing me. I felt a but uncomfortable about it but after what Noah said I took them one after another. I glanced around the yard and saw that the sun was setting and more people were here. My eyes widened when I saw Alex here practically shoving her tongue down Noah's throat in the pool. I whimpered at the pain I felt through me.
I turned back to Donnie who still was telling me his story.
"Kiss me" I cut him off. "W-what?" "Kiss me" I repeated and leaned up pressing my lips against his. I locked my hands around his neck but it wasn't like I was forcing him. His hands were on my waist instantly.
My first kiss wasn't with the person I dreamt it to be.
Tilly's words rang in my head as I kissed Alex.
You're such an idiot. Oblivious! Can't you see she likes you?! She can't even admit it to herself but it's so obvious. Good job asshole.
That's a lie. Impossible. But other than that...
Alex tasted good.
"Whoa whoa keep it PG."
I chuckled against Alex's lips and pulled away, glancing up at the edge of the pool. "Hey Harry" greeted. "Don't 'hey Harry' me. Can I borrow him for a second?" he asked Alex, pulling me out of the pool. She was too shocked to answer, probably because it was Harry...freaking girls.
"What the hell are you doing Jamie?" "Uh, makin' out?" He chuckled, "I taught you well." I laughed too but he instantly snapped out of it. "Okay let's get serious. You see over there?" I looked to where he nodded and saw Maddie hanging onto Donnie for dear life as they kissed.
I felt anger build up in me. Harry shot his arm out in front of me to stop me from making my way over there.
"What are you doing?"
"Going over there" I hissed.
"Why?" he smirked.
"He's touching her" I growled, my eyes narrowing on Donnie.
"Does that make you upset?"
Why is he winding me up? "Yes!"
I felt his hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him. "What did you say?" he teased.
"What?" I breathed out, completely frustrated.
"I said...I said she's my friend." "That's not what you said and you know it." "Shut up Harry" I groaned.
"Take it from me. If she's meant to be with someone else, let her be."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Eden and I went on a few dates before she started dating your dad."
"Ew, you went out with my mom?"
"Yeah and I really liked her but she's happy with someone else now and so am I."
"Okay what is this shitty story supposed to teach me?"
He chuckled, "I'm just telling you that if she's happy with someone else then let her be okay?"
I groaned, "You're saying this like I like her."
"Well, don't you?"
I looked up at him, hesitation in my answer. I gave up and turned to leave. "Noah!"
"Look Alex I'm not in the mood right now." She put her hand on my chest and drew nonsense on me. "Oh but you said we can hang out in the pool again." She reached up and pecked my lips.
She can definitely get my mind off of things. "I guess so" I said and led her back to the pool.
Alex was very persistent. Her legs wrapped around my waist while she forcefully pressed her lips against mine. Luckily we were in a pool because other people would certainly be judging.
Okay that voice was one I needed to be scared about. "I'll be right back" I rushed and pushed Alex away from me so I can climb out of the pool.
"Uh, hey mom." "Don't 'hey mom' me. What did you say to Madison."
She only uses full names when she's mad...shit.
"Nothing...I mean she looked weird with that stuff on her face."
She sighed, "She said you laughed at her."
"Well I wanted to laugh but- wait she talked to you?"
"She came out of the bathroom completely broken. She was crying."
Crying? That's the last thing I wanted to do. "Really?"
"Yeah and I'd say go and talk to her to apologize."
I sighed, "I think she's busy." Mom looked were I was pointing and also saw Maddie hanging onto Donnie as they laughed and shit.
"I don't want to talk about it." I left upstairs to my room and plopped on my bed, not caring if my blanket gets wet because of my swim suit.
"Fuck this party!" I yelled in frustration.
There was a knock on my door, "Jamie are you alright?"
"I don't want to talk, dad, go away." I heard a sigh and his footsteps leaving.
I put in my head phones and blasted this song my mom always sang me when I wanted to go to bed. 'look after you' by this old band called The Fray.
My door suddenly opened and a shriek was let out. I pulled out my head phones and sat up to see Maddie hold a hand to her heart as she heavily breathed. "Whoa you scared me."
"What are you doing in here?"
"Oh well it's dark and I came to get some shorts and a shirt on."
"Okay then" I said and ran a hand over my face.
"I, um, I took the stuff off of my face. You were right, I looked ridiculous" she said as she looks through her over night bag.
"About that, I didn't mean-"
"Yes you did and I would've laughed at me too" she joked but the slight crack in her voice made me feel horrible.
"No, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, whatever. I hope you have fun with...um, Alex. Later." She left my room in haste.
I raked my hands through my hair, wanting to pound Donnie in his face because he made her happy when I was the one that fucked up.
"Thanks for keeping me company."
"Yeah, I can't believe he said that to you. He's an ass."
I giggled, "Yeah he sort of is."
"So tomorrow night is still on."
"Um, yeah, I look forward to it."
"See you at 6." He leaned down and pecked my lips. "Goodnight."
"Bye." I said and watched as he left the backyard out of the side door.
Everyone was gone and I was exhausted. I helped Eden and Liam clean up while the rest of the boys seemed to just make it worse. "Louis give me back my shirt!" He held it higher. I punched him in the gut and watched as he fell to the ground. I took back my shirt and left inside the house. I heard the boys laughing.
I went upstairs and went into Noah's room. His light was off and he looked to be sleeping. I changed into my Pj's and carefully climbed into bed beside him.
"Yeah" I sighed and rest my head on the pillow.
"I really am sorry about what I said."
I turned over away from him and brought the covers up to my face. I felt tears well up from remembering what he said.
What happened to your face?
"You're always sorry."
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