"Zayn! You need to stop this! You know it's bad for you, yet you still smoke! Stop it!" I exclaimed. If he would just understand. "It's terrible for your health! Stop!" I took the cigarette from his mouth and threw it away. "Come on Zayn, listen to me!" I said.
"What?! Perrie, what? Tell me, what does the queen want me to do? I've had enough! You always want things your way and it's exhausting. I can't keep up with your requests." He told me. He refused to look at me since I threw the cigarette away.
"Requests? Zayn, I'm asking you to stop smoking ever since we started dating! You promised you would but you never did! Now you call me a queen and say that I want things in my ways. Zayn, I'm asking you this for your health, not mine. I have no idea what happened to you but for the last months, we've rarely spent any time together because you were busy. With what?!" I raised my voice. He rolled his eyes, not caring about what I said.
"When are you gonna stop acting like this! You care too much, Perrie. You think that I'll die if I don't stop smoking. You asked me to stop smoking. You asked me to be nicer towards your band mates. You wanted me to meet your parents. You wanted me to help you with some songs. It will end if you stay like this." He told me and broke me into pieces. Tears started to form in my eyes, but I held them in, not wanting to cry.
"I thought so too." I whispered. I took off my engagement ring and placed it on the table. A tear escaped my eye, I knew that I was making the wrong decision. I was making the worst decision of my life. "I'm sorry for caring." I apologized. I got up and left the love of my life behind. Forever.
There was no coming back. No goodbye. Nothing. I left his house, crying. I ran to my car, not wanting the media and the tabloids see me like this. I jumped in my car and drove like a mad human. I drove too fast that I thought I could get in a car crash. The long drive was nothing now that I drove really fast, crying. i didn't care how I parked my car. I got out, locked the car and ran in my house. My house. The place where no one can hurt me. Where I can cry without anyone knowing. I took out the keys and unlocked the front door. I got in and closed the door. I ran in my room and layed in my bed, and hugged the pillow. I was crying, my heart was aching, nothing seemed right. I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up with a huge headache. I slowly got out of bed, walked in my bathroom, my eyelids half opened. I looked at the reflexion of what was supposed to be me and my eyes widened. Puffy, red eyes. My makeup was all over my face, specially mascara and eyeliner. My lips were a bit darker than they naturally are and my skin was paler than usual. I was about to turn on the water in the sink but it all came back.
Flashbacks of the first time we met. Of when he asked me out. Of our first date. Of when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of our memories. Of our happy moments. Of when he proposed to me. Of our breakup.
It hurts. Not seeing the ring hurts. Knowing that I'll never talk to the love of my life again was hard. Knowing that he'd easily move on was hard. It wasn't even a nightmare, it was reality. It already happened. The sad thing is, there was no coming back.
*knock* *knock* *knock*
"Coming!" I yelled. After cleaning myself up, I decided to draw something to remind me of the old times. Like at school. I drew a flower. I wasn't that good at drawing, but at least I have my skills. I ran down the stairs and made my way to the front door. I opened it to see my golden haired best friend standing there, with a box of cookies. "Jade!" I hugged her at let her in my flat. I closed the door then we both walked in the living room and sat down.
"First, mom made you these. you know her cookies are delicious!" Jade cheered. Anyone would've guessed it, Jade loves biscuits, specially her Norma's homemade cookies. I have to admit, Norma's cookies are amazing, they're better than the ones I buy from the supermarket. "Now, I have three awesome news to tell you. which one should I start with? Oh wait, I'll tell you in order. First, Harry and I went on a date yesterday and as usual, it was perfect. Second, he came over today to say hi to my mam. He whispered something in her ear, then she asked me to look for her phone in her room. I looked for it for like 15 minutes, then my mam said she found it in her pocket." I chuckled.
"That must've annoyed you." I said, referring to the looking for the phone story. Jade nodded, then shook her head. "What?"
"Yes, well, no. Not really. I went back to the living room and my mam hugged me and whispered I've been waiting for this moment ever since you were born, my little cupcake then she pulled away. And since I was confused, Harry came closer to me and bent down on his knees. Then he said Jade Amelia Thirlwall, would you do me the honor of marrying me? and I smiled. A tear escaped my eye as I nodded." Jade said dramatically. "So he kissed me and said happy 2nd anniversary."
"Oh my God." I mumbled under my breath. "So you're-"
"Engaged." She showed me their engagement ring, smiling. It was beautiful. "Third, do you get it! Half the members of Little Mix are engaged to 2/5 of One Direction! This is awesome!" Jade started jumping up and down. I laughed at her weird reactions but she suddenly stopped. "Where's your ring?" She asked worriedly.
"Oh, my uh, my ring." I stuttered. Think, Perrie, think... Don't take much time or Jade'll know your lying... Don't make it too obvious either. She'll be suspicious. "Well, I was painting a flower and I took it off. Not wanting to colour it." I explained. Ok, half of this is true. If I still had my ring, I would have took it off. And actually, I did paint, so it's not really a lie. But I don't have the ring.
"Do you know where you put it? You forget easily..." Jade told me. I snorted.
"Hey, I'm Perrie Louise Edwards. I don't give up on something I love, and I love that ring! Of course I know where it is!" I said, acting hurt. In reality, I was hurt. Not from what Jade said, but from Zayn. Oh, Zayn...
"Okay then. Well, come on! Get ready!" Jade pushed me in my room. I gave her a confused look, not knowing why I had to get ready. "I didn't tell you? Oh God, I feel like a red fish. We're gonna meet Jesy, Leigh and all the boys at Harry's! Don't worry, Zayn'll be there." Jade reassured me. At least, she thought she did. I wasn't worried, Jade. Now, I am worried.
Zayn'll be there.
Zayn'll be there.
Zayn'll be there.
Zayn'll be there.
Don't worry, Zayn'll be there.
Jade's words were stuck in my head. Only if you knew, Jade, you wouldn't let me go there. You wouldn't force me to. You're gonna know soon enough, though. I'm pretty sure he told the boys, his fans, Simon and he probably has another girlfriend. It has only been a day, Perrie. His fans must be happy. They got what they always wanted. Mixers won't be too happy, though. they supported us and knew I was happy with him. They might be sad because I'm broken. We'll see...
Time to get ready. To meet him. I don't know what am I gonna do in front of the others, but I'm pretty sure it'll be awkward. I wasn't in the mood for anything special, and since I was already in the clothes I was in this morning, I fixed my makeup and pulled my hair in a side braid and put a bow on my it. I took it from Jade, the queen of bows. And biscuits. I put on a silver ring to replace the engagement one. They won't notice, would they? I changed into my black leather boots and put my jacket on. "I'm ready, Poopey!" I told her. I left my room, took my phone and keys.
"Come on! I'll get in the car while you close the door." Jade called from the front door. I reapplied some cherry coloured gloss, to hide the colour of my now dark lips. I still have no idea why they are dark, but I'll hopefully see soon. I left the house and locked the door. I walked towards Jade's car and got in, the sun shining Jade's black car. "Finally!"
"I didn't take much time. Now let me sort my thoughts out." I told her.
Jade chuckled and started to drive to Harry's house. She turned the radio on and Adele's song "He Won't Go" came on. A breakup song, great. Just what I need. I hummed the playing songs under my breath until we arrived. We got out of the car before Jade locked her precious beautiful car. Jade and I walked towards the front door, and all my thoughts got mixed up.
What if he told them?
What if he told Modest!?
What if he told Simon?
What if he told his fans?
What are we gonna do in there?
How are we gonna act around each other?
What if I break down crying?
What if I say something wrong?
I guess I was thinking too much cause I realized that Harry was hugging me so I hugged back, snapping back to reality. "Haz! I'm really happy for you! but you know the rules, if you break her, you're dead." I warned him. He gave me a warm, welcoming smile which I gave back. We walked in as he closed the door.
"I sure do, Mrs. Malik." Harry joked. Jade laughed, making him laugh too. Mrs. Malik. Thanks for reminding me, Harold, but it wasn't really necessary. I tried my best to make my laugh sound real even though it was 100% fake. We walked in the living room and I saw everyone.
"Perrie!" Jesy and Leigh-Anne chorused. I pulled them both in a group hug, then I hugged Louis, Niall and Liam. Then I saw him.
My real love.
My ex-boyfriend that was soon gonna be my husband.
"Zayn..." I slowly hugged him. He hugged me back then we both pulled away. The distance between us was too close for my liking. This is awkward. I sat next to him since all the seats were taken and I didn't want anyone suspicious.
Everyone began talking, so I took out my phone. I hit the buttons to unlock it, and opened Google. I typed Zerrie breakup and only found things that were last updated in October, 2012 and it was like is Zerrie ever gonna break up. So he didn't tell neither the media or the fans. I don't know if he told Simon, but since he didn't tell his best friends, I'm not so sure.
I sneezed at the smell of smoke. His smell. One of the reasons of our breakup. "Perrie, are you okay?" Niall asked me. Everyone looked at me, waiting for an answer.
"Yeah, just, ill..." I slowly explained, keeping my head low. I slowly rubbed my eye, not to waste any makeup. I don't wanna risk looking like this morning. I suddenly got an idea.
"Are you two texting?" Leigh-Anne asked, mentioning me and Zayn. I looked at him to see him typing on his phone too. His eyes got locked on mine, showing the sadness.
Yeah Zayn, you're sad. I'm sad, angry, broken, scared and I don't know what to do. Please, shut up.
I was about to reply when he beat me at it. "Yes." He simply said. Liar.
"Well, you're in the same room. Why don't you, just talk?" Harry asked. Apparently Jade, Jesy, Louis and Liam noticed that there was something going on.
"Secrets." Zayn replied. What a liar...
The secrets and the things we had are over, Zayn. If you remembered that you had to spend more time with your girlfriend, then we wouldn't have been in this awkward situation.
"Oh, alright." Jesy said. They turned back to their own conversations as I played on my phone.