4. Silent pain
I walked into school without a care in the world. The coward didn't look at me once, she just shunned her head when I glanced her way. She kept whispering things to her friends, trying to annoy me but sticks and stones may brake my bones but words cant hurt me right? That opinion changed when I got home more comments and texts, stupidly I read them, they had swear words I hadn't even heard of, her friends joined her in bulling. I was speechless, I felt myself getting small in my chair, I couldn't breath. A little voice in my head kept saying ''She's right you know, you are fat and ugly, you have no friends.'' I kept fighting with it telling it, it was wrong. I finally gave in. It persuaded me not to eat that night. Then I made the worst mistake of my life, I told no one about the messages, I let myself be bullied by Tori McDowall.
6 months later
The last thing I ate was an apple, two days ago. I've dropped 60kgs. The messages are regular. I cant talk to Niall or the messages are worse. I distance myself from my friends because I feel I don't deserve them, I don't want them to find out about it all. On a really bad day I'm compelled to self-harm. I'm ashamed of myself everyday. Tori's friends bully me during the day and she dies it after school. On night she even rung me and tried to pursued me to kill myself. I get texts from Niall every day but ignore them, for my sake and his. Life sucks, I have pulled out of all my sports. Every day I throw up to be thin and perfect, but when I look in the mirror I'm still fat and ugly. I take depression pills to numb the pain, but I find myself doping up just because, I fear I'm addicted. 6 months ago I would have never thought I would get this low but yet her I am. I have hit bottom. I can no longer see the good in life, my family try to help but I push them away. I'm honestly thinking of ending it. I'm crying as I write this because of the pain I put everyone else as well as myself through. I have no clue what to do, Tori has always been right, I am a worthless piece of shit, that no one will miss me. I don't know what to do. I have lost my way.
Heyyyy, thnx you guys so much for reading, don't forget to like and favorite!!! If you really like it can you pleeease favourite me :). I promise to update on Saturday BYYYEEEE :P