November, 26th 2013, 23h
I don't really know what I'm doing here. I have no conscience of what's happening around me. And seriously, I don't care. I'm just lost in my thoughts. I'm thinking about rumours. Rumours about me... about him. All the stories they say without knowing the truth. The stories about me and her. About him with them.
But I like Him. And now it's just too late.
I look beneath me, a only tear running down my cheek and go joins the water in the river. The water seems pretty calm, it's exactly like life. It's a road who's waiting for you. Who's telling you to follow it and it promise you that everything's gonna be okay and you'll be fine.
But that's not that at all!
I’m thinking of him constantly. He’s always in my mind, his laugh, his smile, the way he passes his hand in his hair when he gets nervous... I have to stop that!
But I can’t because I’m totally in love. Yeah, in love. In love with my best friend.
Now I leave him without saying goodbye or why I’m leaving. I tried to write him a letter to explain all, but I didn’t find the strength to do it.
I’m sorry, but I know he’s gonna pass through all of it. He’s strong, stronger than me.
I hear people not so far and I think they’re going in my direction. Yes, they are now just behind me. I don’t want to turn around, because I know who they are and I don’t wanna face them.
It’s him. The one who’s the cause of why I’m here now. My heart skipped a beat just at the sound of his voice.
‘’Louis... please look at me.’’
Yeah, I turned around immediately even if I didn’t want to. He just have so much control on me...
So I turned around and looked at him. I saw the 3 other guys who was standing behind him. They seemed really nervous and panicked. I felt the shame on me, because I knew that I was the reason they feel like that.
He keeps talking.
‘’Louis, please, I beg you, don’t jump.’’
Why? Why am I supposed to listening to you? I’m here because of you. I don’t wanna stay here, in this life.
‘’Stay... for me.’’
No! He can’t tell me that! I always do everything for him and he have never did the same for me. He can’t ask me that. He makes me feel weak and he know it.
‘’Louis... I love you.’’
He said this as a whisper and I’m not sure if the others have heard it, but he did say that! The guy I love just told me he loves me! Yes, the guy I love is him. Harry Edward Styles.
At this sentence I froze. I lost my balance and heard voices. I heard his screams. My view began to be confused. My last memories was my body's falling and the contact of my back with the cold water of a November night and then... nothing.