1. Down hill
This was it I was going to say good bye to my mom now. I walked into the room where she looked at me and said, "Niall is that you?" I put on a big smile and said, "Yea mom its me." I saw her eyes light up as they had down so many times before. It made me smile to see her happy again. It was as if for a split second their she wasn't dying. She snapped me out of my thoughts bye calling for me to come and sit.
I walked over to her and sat down. As soon as I sat down she reached out and healed my hand. She was holding it as if I was the one dying and she was afraid of losing me. I looked up at her and saw that she was smiling at me but her eyes were saying she was scared and didn't want to leave. "Mom don't be scared im sure that your going to a better place. Me and dad will do our best to get along when your gone mom I promise. Well go and see you every day." That's what I wanted to say to her but I knew I shouldn't.
"Niall sweetie im so glad your here. I wanted to tell you that I love you very much." "I love you to mom with all my heart. I would never not show up for you." I was start to tear up when she sat up and gave me a big hug. Just as I was hugging her she whispered in my ear. "Its time to go Niall. I love you." I didn't get it at the time until I felt her arm fall down. I layed her down and started to scream and cry.
Then my dad came in the room and I ran to him and gave him a big hug. I mean sure I was 15 but im not heartless. I cry when some one dies im not full of my self. Any way that was the last time my dad had ever made me feel safe and wanted. I still reamber he said to me, "Come one Niall she's in a better place now. We need to move on she would want us to."
*2 years later*
I was up stairs playing with knife with my dad started to call my name. "NIALL GET ME ANOTHER BEER!!!" I could tell that he was drunk and knew that If I didn't go and do that fast I would get hurt big time. I ran down stairs and grabbed his bear I pulled down my sleeves down to cover up my cuts. I ran into the living and gave his beer.
"Here you go dad." He looked at me and said, "What do we say to daddy?" "I love you daddy." "Look me in the fucking eyes Niall and say it." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "I Love you daddy." Just then I saw my dad smile but then as soon as he drank the beer. He got mad at me and punched me it the gut then ounce I was on the floor when he started to kick me. I crawled out of the and went back up stairs. As soon I was I was up stairs and I had my door shut I took my knife out.
I started to lice my arms again. It hurt but in the end it felt good. I was doing this because of my dad and I had to go back to school again where I would get picked on again.