Love's Suicide

Umm so I don't know how to describe this book so I'll give a little behind the pages info... All the characters are based on real people. I'm Abigail obviously. There are times I'll sit down with the person the character is and tell them the situation and then write the convo down. I started writing this book like 2 years ago but have up cause I didn't know why I was writing but then I found this:) so I'm finishing it.


1. The Dream

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I say to my best friend as we walk down the hallway toward the office.

“Abbi, listen, you're my best friend and I can't stand to see you like this. You barely eat, you almost never sleep, and you're constantly crying.”

“I know” It’s been almost a month since the cops told me that Justin was found dead in his room. They told me that he was holding a picture of him and me. They also found a note written to me beside his bed. “It’s just... I can’t believe he did this. And the fact that I’m the only one he wrote a note to.” I shake my head. “ I just want him back.”

“I know this is hard for you Abbi, and I know that you want him back. But that’s not possible. Although; on the other hand, you working through this is.”

I know she’s right but it doesn't feel like it. When we turn the corner we pass my locker. “I need to get something.” I say as I kneel down.

“Okay, just make it quick.” When I get it open I already know what I'm looking for and right where it is. I look at the inside of the door. It’s the note Justin’s friend gave me the day I got back from vacation, the night Justin killed himself. I didn't have time to read it that night and after the cops told me what happened... I couldn't bring myself to read it. I also have the note the cops gave me in my backpack, I haven't read that one either. I hear Nikki cough and remember that I’m not alone. I quickly grab the note and my favorite picture of us that I taped to the door the first day of school. I stand up and expect to see Nikki waiting for me; but she already started walking away. I shut my locker, put the lock back on and run to catch up with her.

“Hey! Why didn't you wait for me?” I say catching my breath.

“Because I didn't want to see you cry; and I'm sorry Abbi but if you think keeping all that crap about him in your locker is helping, your wrong.” She says with a straight face.

I can tell shes mad but, it’s not like it’s my fault that I miss him. “Listen, I know it may not be helping, but I miss him. A lot! I’m sorry”

“No Abbi, I’m sorry for yelling at you. You need support and all I’m doing is yelling. I’m sorry” She says as we reach the office.

“It’s okay, I understand. I could probably be trying harder anyway. Thanks for your support Nikki.” I say hugging her.

“It’s okay. But Abbi, I think you should talk to her by your self. Text me later and tell me how it goes okay?”

“You know I will” We both laugh “I’ll see you later!”

I walk through the hallway to Mrs.Oliver's office. I pause. Should I really do this? I know I should, but I don’t know if I can. When I finally open the door, she looks up at me, smiles and says, “Good Afternoon Abigail. You're right on time. Take a seat.” I sit in the chair across from her desk. “So I heard that you've been having some problems lately. What's been going on?”

I look at her; she looks so happy that I came to her. I can tell she wants me to be happy, but I don’t think that that’s possible anymore. I can’t believe that I’m about to do this.

“Do you watch the news?” I don't know how else to bring this up. She says, “Yeah all the time, why?”

“Do you remember the news story from about a month ago. It was about a 17 year old boy. He was a student here last year.”

“Yeah. Justin Black right? It was so sad. They said he was holding a picture of him and his girlfriend. They never did say why he did it though. Was he a good friend of yours?”

“Sorta. We got engaged right before he” I pause; I will not cry; I will not cry; I will not cry... “Died”

“Oh honey, I'm so sorry! If you don't mind me asking, Were you the one he wrote the note too?”

“Yeah. Thats the reason I came to you. I haven't read it yet. I don’t wanna be alone when I read it.” I pause and take a deep breath. “Can you read it with me?”

“Of course, I can sweetie but just so you know I don't have to read it.” I nod my head. As I start to unfold the note, I stop remembering that its true;

That he’s dead;

That he’s not coming back.

* * * *

The next thing I know I’m laying in my bed. I sit up and realize that I’ve been crying. I don’t even know who that guy was. Why didn’t I want to read the notes? Who was Nikki and why was she so concerned about me?

I look over at the clock; 6:00 am. I moved to Kentucky last week and I’m just now starting school. I miss home so much!

I get up and head to the shower. After I got dressed, I stand in front of my full length mirror. I curled my hair and put on makeup. I'm wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a black tank top and my favorite light blue jacket with some tan boots. I go outside to check the weather. It’s October 14th, back home I would be freezing, but here I’m burning up. I go back inside and change into some cut off, knee length shorts and some pink flip flops.

My mom said she would give me a ride this morning, but I'd have to ride the bus home. I refuse to ride the bus, and she knows it. She just said that I’d have to get a ride from someone at school. Hmm, guess she doesn't realize how hard it is to make friends on the first day at a new school.

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