A/N: Hi beautifuls, Bitt here. I am writing to you today to tell you that i love you. I love all your beautiful comments and thoughts on the story. I have loved writing this story and i am a little sad to say that chapter 29 is the last chapter of Help me lose my mind. :( Writing this has actually helped me keep my sanity ironically. It has been fun and also a little sad to see how the story and characters progressed. is that weird that i am kinda emotionally invested in my own characters? oh well. Anyway i hope you enjoy this last Chapter and will read the second book also. I will make a new chapter here linking it when i have put it up.
Love Britt xx
My hands start to sweat as I realise Harry and I are up next. He grabs my hand but I pull away. Harry looks at me with an eyebrow raised.
“They are sweaty,” I whisper.
Harry grabs my hand again not caring. I can feel my heart beating actually I can hear it in my ears. The fear of the unknown scares me. It is strange though it is not me I am scared for. Either way Harry is free and if I am not I fear for him. He loves me and if I go I’m scared he might just lose it. My leaving might just be the thing to tip him over the edge he is teetering on. His face-hardens as my name gets called and I am pushed into the same seat in front of the assholes that decide my fate.
“Miss Steele, is there anything you would like to say before the jury reads their verdict?” I can hear the voice but all the faces in front of me look the same. I swallow hard and take a deep breath.
“Just get it over with will you” I shake my head and close my eyes. A small woman stands up in amongst the people and moves to the front.
“The jury recommends to the state that Miss Vera Steele” Everything is at a stand still. All of a sudden Harry and I are alone in the room his face is twisted and tears spill down his cheek. His mouth opens as he intakes a breath. I turn back towards the small woman and her mouth moves but I can’t hear a word she is saying. All I hear is an echo of a chair screeching along the floorboards. Large hands find there way to my body, feeling me all over. Rushing like I am food and they haven’t eaten in years. The hands are Harry’s; he is pulling me into him. You know when you haven’t eaten all day and you have been on the go and your body feels like jelly, it feels weak and faint? That’s what I feel now. Slowly I come back to reality. Harry is being pulled off me by large men in uniform; his face is dry of tears but full of anger. I look towards the small woman.
“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that”
The woman looks at me as if I had killed her cat. The room is dead silent. Harry has stopped trying to get free; he is just standing there staring at me.
The woman clears her throat.
“I am sorry miss Steele but you are to be sent to Ashworth Hospital until they see you fit to reintegrate into society.”
Some police officer puts me in a cell. I am to be escorted to Ashworth in the morning.
“Hi Detective” I smile. It had been a while since I last saw Mr Lance. He had helped me so much.
“How ya doin’?”
No one has actually asked me that in a long time. I am not actually sure how to answer him. I know I should probably feel something. Maybe I should be scared; scared of the unknown, scared of losing Harry, scared of something, anything. But I am not, I don’t feel anything. Is this what being in shock feels like?
I just shake my head at lance. He brings himself down to my level.
“You will be fine, I know it. You just need to show the doctors that you are a good kid. They will see that all right. You will get out Vera, just keep your head down and your smart mouth shut”
“You got it” I smile.
“Good luck Vera” Lance stands and walks out.
“Thank you” I whisper.
I wake up to Harry sitting in a chair outside my cell. All signs of anger have vanished and left sadness in its wake. He clears his throat before speaking.
“Hi” I breathe
“I- I um” He bites him bottom lip. “I don’t know what to say”
“Ill miss you” I smile.
“Don’t Vera, you don’t get to say that. You wont be gone long enough to miss me. I’m gonna get you out of that place so frigin quick”
He is being serious and it is making him angry. I really want to tell him that he is being a stupid idiot but I don’t want to fight with him. Not now.
“Alright? You haven’t got anything to say?”
“This Ashworth is supposed to be pretty alright as far as asylums go”
“That’s good then”
Ugh great out last like five minutes and we can’t say a word. But then I guess this is how it has always been. Harry and me never had to say words to let each other know how we feel. The silence has never been weird.
“Be good alright, promise me,” I demand
“Yeah yeah I promise”
“I love you Harry”
“Why do I feel like you are saying goodbye?”
“Um that’s probably because I am Sherlock”
“But I’m not ready yet”
“Part of me thinks you will never be ready”
“Time to get goin’ Styles” an officer bellows. I glare at him. “Well I um guess you can have five more minutes.”
“Well what do you know being the towns biggest criminal has its perks” I smile.
“You know I love you right? And I wont let you rot in that place”
“Harry” I whine. “You can’t, what if I am sick. I need help to get better. You want me to get better don’t you?”
Harrys face drops and his brows almost touch.
“Then maybe you let me stay for a while until I am”
“How will I know to come get you”?
“I’ll let you know”
“I will miss you” he sniffs.
I just nod. I put my hand though the bars and put my palm on his cheek.
“No matter what happens Styles, you will always have my heart.” A tear runs down my face. Harry just stands and heads out. He stops in the doorframe to take another look at me then leaves.
The tears flow freely down my face. It’s amazing that the heart makes no noise when it cracks.