“State your name” A balding man commands me. I am sat in a chair in front of strangers that will decide the outcome of everything I guess.
“Vera Jane Steele”
“What is your occupation?”
“I am currently unemployed”
“Its it true miss Steele that you have spent the last year in Broadmoor criminal lunatic asylum?”
“And what was the cause for your admission?”
“Don’t you have the notes there?” I ask rudely. I have no idea what this had to do with the basement.
“Answer the question please miss Steele”
A small woman sits in the corner of the room typing away everything being said in the room. I turn back and spot Harry in the stands. He nods towards me.
“Me too babe, but the best thing we can do is answer all their questions no matter what and wait for them to find us both innocent. No matter what Vera I want you to do exactly what they ask with no refusal. It will all work out for the best.”
“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia”
“And what bought this on?”
“What does this have to do with anything?” I argue.
“Just answer the questions miss Steele, I won’t ask again” another man chimes in.
“I killed my father” I hang my head.
“Its it true you killed him with an axe from your wood shed?”
“And why did you feel the desire to kill your innocent father?”
“Because I didn’t think he was innocent”
“What was your reasoning?”
“I thought he had killed my mother”
“And you no longer believe it so?”
“No Steph I mean Stephan admitted to killing her”
“Is this why you killed him?”
“No I killed him before he killed myself or Harry”
“And by Harry you mean Mr Styles?”
“And what is your relationship with Mr Styles”
“We are friends”
“Character references from staff at Broadmoor seem to think you and Mr Styles are more than friends. It is true you are staying with him at the moment?”
“We were a kind of thing. And I am staying with him”
“What is a kind of thing?”
“Like we kissed and stuff”
“Please elaborate on stuff, did you have intercourse with him?”
“Have you engaged in any other type of physical intimate act with Mr Styles?”
“Have you confessed love in Mr Styles?”
“So what changed in your relationship?”
“I don’t know what my relationship with Harry has to do with anything”
“We are trying to establish what type of person you are miss Steele. Along with any reason you may try to prove Mr Styles innocent.”
“He is, did you not listen to the tape?”
“Yes miss Steele but we must go through the formality, there is more than one potential innocent here. Please answer the question”
“I don’t want to be with Harry anymore”
“And what changed?” I haven’t even told Harry yet; let alone a room full of strangers. I swallow hard.
“He is innocent, and I am not. When this is over I will be thrown back in some kind of place and he will be free. I want him to move on.” A tear escapes from my eyes.
“This is a painful topic to talk about miss Steele?”
“Why are you doing this?” I plead. “Yes it is”
“And why is this?” I want to scream at this man. I hate him for doing this. I haven’t spoken the words out loud to myself and now Harry will find out and he can’t even say anything about it.
“Because I still love him” The room is silent and Harry gets up and leaves. I want to curl up and die.
“Now why did Mr Stephan kill your mother?”
The questions went on for what seemed like days. Detective Lance offers to buy me a drink for my efforts. I just ask him for a ride back to the hotel. I am dreading seeing Harry. The door is unlocked which I suppose is a good sign.
Harry is pacing in the living room.
“Hi” I breathe
“You still love me?” straight into then. I don’t answer.
“Answer me, for fuck sake Vera. Just answer me,” he yells.
“Yes I still fucking love you okay.” I yell back. Harry slouches but continues pacing.
“And when were you planning to tell me?”
“I wasn’t going to” I admit.
“Why the fuck not Vera. Last night after dinner, the other night when I came home from the pub. You said nothing,” he is still yelling.
“You already know” I want to cry.
“You want me to move on bullshit. What about me Vera? What if I don’t want to move on? What if all I want is you?”
“Well you don’t get a choice”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I never wanted to hurt you”
“Well guess what, you failed. I am hurt, why can’t you see Vera I don’t care if you are in that place. I will get you out. After this we can run ok we can go and hide. It won’t be easy but we can make it work.” He pleads. Tears start streaming down his beautiful face.
“No Harry I will not run. I am sick you idiot. I killed two people. Why don’t yo get that? What if I killed you? Or killed someone you love? Would you love me still?”
He doesn’t answer.
“No you wouldn’t because you would either be dead or really fucking hurt. I cant give you what you need Harry”
“But Vera” he is really crying now.
“No Harry I have decided. Nothing can be done. In another place in another time Harry this would be perfect. But you are just the right person at the wrong time.”
I go to the room and shut the door. I fall asleep with tears on the pillow.