“I’ll go check it out,” Harry whispers.
“Like shit you are. Lets just climb out the window” I suggest.
Harry gives me the ‘are you serious right now’ look and I nod.
“I’ll be right back, don’t you move. I mean it Vera,” he warns. I huff and sit on the floor. I wait a few minutes then I get too nervous to just sit here.
“Harry” I loudly whisper. Harry comes around the corner and I almost shit myself.
“Nope all clear.”
“But you did hear something right?”
“Yeah, might have just been the wind”
I don’t say anything else.
“Vera?” Harry asks
“I said do you want to get out of here?”
I hadn’t even realised he had said anything. I just nod and he leads the way to the car.
“You live in a motel?” I question when harry pulls into a half decent looking motel.
“Just until this court thing is over, my house is in London Vera”
Oh right of course it is. Harry grabs the small bag of clothes I had packed and leads the way to his room. The kitchen and living room is small but at least it is tidy. There is only one bathroom and one bedroom. I guess we could have turns on the couch.
“I wish you would talk to me” Harry sighs as he takes a seat next to me.
I don’t reply.
“About anything, it doesn’t have to be about us” he pushes.
“There is no us,” I murmur.
“But there could be” Harry moves closer. “Don’t you see” He puts his hand on my arm. “Vera we could make this work”
“No” I stand shrugging off his hand. “I won’t” I take a deep breath and sit again. “Can we talk about something else please?” I almost beg.
“Theo’s funeral is on Tuesday.” Great he is sad. I have made him sad again. Why does he even stick around? Maybe because he loves you and you need to get your head out of your ass. I shake the thought away. The sooner this stupid court case is over the sooner I will be where I belong and Harry can go back to normal. Everything will be the way it should be.
I breathe in and wait for the tears to come. They don’t.
“Are you hungry?” Harry asks after a while. There is so much silence between us but its not weird or anything, its kind of nice.
“Why are they letting me out even when I am well sick I guess?”
“Oh right, um I asked them if you could come out for a bit. Nobody even knows you exist really. I told them I wouldn’t make a huge fuss about being wrongfully accused.” Harry shrugs. Like it isn’t a big deal. It’s kind of huge.
“But you could like sue them for a ton of money”
“Yeah, yeah. I know”
This kid makes no sense to me. First he was prepared to stay in a nut house for me and now he gives up the opportunity to sue for some serious money. We are talking like £700. Just so I can pretend to be normal for a little while.
“So are you?” Harry asks
“Am I what?”
“Oh no” I shake my head.
I stand and head to the bedroom and flop on the bed. Holy hell this is like heaven. I know everyone complains about hotel beds but they haven’t slept where I have for the past year and a bit. This is the most comfortable thing like ever. I want to stay here forever. Harry doesn’t come in. He leaves the room after about five minutes slamming the door behind him. My eyes are heavy and I feel myself starting to drift off. I can’t sleep, I won’t sleep. I drag myself off the bed and turn the shower on cold.
After my shower I search the small room for Harry. He is gone but there is a cheese toastie on the bed.
‘For you’ is written on the paper bag. I hadn’t realised how hungry I was until the food was gone in a matter of seconds.
Where has he gone? I know I am not the greatest company at the moment but without him here I feel… lonely? I am not actually sure the feeling is foreign but I do know I feel better when he is around. Ugh he must be pissed because I keep fucking with his head. I want him to leave me be but when he does I want him back but all at the same time I am wishing we never meet. But then I am so thankful we did and I just want to scream. There is a pad and pen on the coffee table to I take it to the bed and write.
Harry stumbles in what feels like hours later.
“Vera” He calls. I leave the notebook and pen on the bed and go to meet him in the living room.
“Harry?” I question.
“Vera there you are” he smiles.
“Harry are you drunk?”
“I might be” He stumbles in. Great. I roll my eyes.
“Are you rolling you’re eyes at me miss Steele?” he slurs.
“I might be” I smirk. Harry bursts into laughter. I know it is the alcohol but it is the best thing I have heard in what seems like years but is really days.
“Come on lets get you to the couch”
Helping Harry to the couch is harder than it seemed. He rests all his weight on me as I steer in in the right direction.
“You know Vera when you ran that knife across Stephan’s neck, it was the single most scariest thing I have ever seen”
Harry’s confession makes me want to cry. To try and change his mind. To let him know that I am not some hideous monster that slits peoples throats. That he can trust me. But this is probably for the best. If he thinks these things about me it will be easier for him to let me go.
“Vera?” Harry asks. He moves closer and puts his arm around me and instinctively I move closer.
“Why don’t you love me?”