Who Are You, Really?

Harry Styles, world famous superstar- but that's exactly the problem. He loves what he does, the fans and the positive sides to who he is, but he's on the verge of his breaking point when it comes to dealing with the media and fake friends. He can't trust anyone. Anyone except one.


5. Meeting The Fans

"Come on, you want real sleepover fun. You’ve gotta stop scribbling in your diary-"

“It’s a journal.”

“Yeah, your man journal. What do you even write in that?” I said and stretched over to grab it.

“No, you can’t read it.” He said and sat on it. “You most definitely cannot read it.”


Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed his laptop as I patted the cushion next to me on the couch. He grabbed a chocolate nut bar thing and chucked the wrapper on the floor.

“You animal.” I whispered.

12 AM.

@Harry_Styles: Heeeyyy im indie if you haven’t noticed.'

‘@Harry_Styles: Once I saw a pair of shoes. I was inspired.’

‘@Harry_Styles: @Niall_Official you smell. sorry ur outta the band.’

‘@Harry_Styles: mwah! mwah! thanks for reading my heavenly tweets you fashionistas!’

I typed away on Harry’s twitter account as many statuses I could think of while he went to the bathroom. And guys pee fast so I was racing against the clock. Wait, verified accounts get notifications when they tweet each other….

@Harry_Styles: @LittleMixOffic i love you so much why won’t you love me back. Perrie u sexy tigress. 

‘@Harry_Styles: @KanyeWest GET SOME REAL TWEETS

‘@Harry_Styles: guess I’m one to talk…’

‘@Harry_Styles: I just want to be @BarackObama. Is that too much to ask…’

‘@Harry_Styles: Jayden Smith is a role model to me.’

“What are you doing?”

I turned around and Harry was standing over my shoulder behind the couch reading everything I was typing.

“Is that my account?” He asked.
“Let me see.” He said and swabbed the laptop off me and plumped himself onto the couch.
He scanned all the tweets I posted.

“What have you done…” he laughed. “I just want to be Barack Obama.”

“Look I don’t want to know about your sexual fantasies.”

He went through and tried to delete all of them… 

“No! Not that one, I want Little Mix to love me.” I pouted. 

“I can’t! Zayn is dating Perrie, I don’t want him thinking I have some inner deep feelings for her.”

“Wow, you couldn’t have worded that any more gay than you just did.” I said and he gave me a death glare.
‘Fine… Wait but in all seriousness, keep the Kanye one.”

1:30 AM

“Smileeeeee.” Harry said and waved his iphone in my face. I flipped him off and covered my face with my hands.

The camera flashed, burning my soul.
“Oh my god!” He laughed, looking at the terrible picture he got of me. Faggot. 

“You’re such a loser. Delete that photo.” I said and tried to grab his phone.

“Hold on, I will just give me a second…”

He uploaded it to instagram.

That’s okay though, because I took a million photos of him when he wasn’t looking, and captured his almost non existent double chin, which came out to play when he tilted his head too far down.
I live tweeted them all.

Then I realised he had 5 million followers on Instagram and almost punched him.

2:00 AM.

“How do you get your hair like that man.”


“How does your hair always stay the perfect hint between curly and wave-a-licious.”

“I’m just perfect sorry.”


2:45 AM.

“I SEE YOU.” I croaked in the darkness from the kitchen. I was getting a bottle of water and I opened the fridge door so the brightness lit up my face. 

“Piss off.” I heard over by the couch.
Well where’s the fun in your heart, asshole.

3:30 AM.

I was sitting on my laptop watching YouTube video’s while he was on his laptop typing up some document thing for a contract review. He had some indie band music playing out of his speakers and I pretended I was enjoying it by doing some head bopping.

“Hey, okay check this out right. You’re good with indie bands.” I said and he looked up at me. “I found this singer on YouTube, and he’s pretty good, but it doesn’t say a name, will you recognise it?”

“Probably. Play it.”

“Okay, turn your music off.”
He swivelled his finger on the mouse pad before his music turned off.

“Alright.” I said, and clicked play on the video.


“Noooooo!” Harry said laughing as he tried to lean over and click the exit button.
There was little boyish Harry on my screen, auditioning for xfactor.


“Oh my god, turn that off. That’s just disgraceful…” 

“Look at your hair! Oh my god I can’t stop laughing. I have to watch it, I’ve never seen this before.”


“SHH, I’m trying to listen oh my god.” I said laughing really hard.
Harry put his laptop down on the coffee table and shuffled over next to me. 

“If you think that’s bad, mine wasn’t even the worst. Louis’ a top singer now, but I still wonder sometimes how the judges let him through…”

“Really?” I asked still smiling. I clicked on the suggested videos on the side on Louis’ audition.


“JESUS CHRIST.” I shouted so loud that Harry had to cover my mouth.

“Just because we’re up, doesn’t mean the whole city is!”

“Get your filthy hand off of me.” I mumbled underneath his fingers.
“Are you gonna be quiet?” 

I licked his hand.

“Gross!” He moaned and wiped his hand on his shirt.


“It’s so late.” I whispered as I glanced at the time on my phone.

“I’m usually up at this time of night.” Harry said quietly.

“I… I don’t know. I just tend to think about a lot of things.”

“Right.” I whispered under my breath. “I can’t understand that. What would possess you to be up at 4am thinking about life.”

“Not just life. I think about people. I think of family. Friends… I’ve been thinking about you quite a lot recently.” He smiled slightly. “Wow that came out so much creepier than I meant it to.” He chuckled.

“Why?” I asked.

“I told you. You changed my life. You didn’t believe me but you did.”

“Yeah I still don’t believe you on that. I don’t know how.”

“I might tell you one day. If I can. It’s not so easy to talk about for me.”

“Okay then. Well. I look forward to it.”

“You really shouldn’t.” 

I watched as his smile turned into a frown as he turned back to his laptop documentations, typing away.

“HEY GET UP, GET UP, GET UP!” Someone shouted into my ears.
I stuck up my finger and pulled the blankets over my head. 

“Get up you lazy ass, we have to go to rehearsal.”
I sat up.

“I tell you who’s a lazy ass in a minute.” I shouted as I jumped out of bed and ran after Niall doing a crab walk.

“Jesus, that shouldn’t be legal.” He shouted as he ran out the door.

I looked at the couch, but Harry was gone. He obviously got up much earlier than I did. 
I chucked on some outfit and did my hair and makeup. Decent enough.
I walked out into the corridor where Liam was putting on his jacket while locking his door.

“How you doin’.” I asked and gave him the sup nod.

He just gave me a weird look and turned to walk to the elevator.

“WAIT! I’m not weird, I promise! Please don’t tell Danielle….”

“If I’m louder, would you see me?” Niall sang as I sat in a random seat in the arena and waved my arms side to side in a majestical wave.

“WOO! I LOVE YOU ONE DIRECTION, YEAH THIS IS MY FAV SONG YOU BABES! MARRY ME!” I screamed from way back in the seats. 
Niall gave me the death glare as he continued singing. Louis gave me the finger. The sound-check people all murmured under their breath. 
I just waved at them and returned back to my phone.

Luke: Hey babe! What r u up to in Cardiff?? 

Rose: Nothing much. Just hanging around really. 

Luke: Sounds good. R u going to the doctor who exhibition while ur up there?


Luke: lol. Have fun then!

I am so fucking going to that exhibition man. Wonder if I could go tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. 
I’ll get around to it… 
God, I wish I kept my heelies. I could have swagged around this arena floor like a boss. 

I sat up in the seats for what felt like a good hour. But I didn’t mind, time kinda flew anyway. I just kept scrolling through twitter. 
Of course without being a self-centred snob, I typed my name in the search bar wanting to see what were the latest comments to keep me entertained. 
I munched on an old snickers bar I found in my jacket pocket.

Let’s see…. Hate. Hate. Woosh, watch you fucking language @Annabella_94. Hate. Nice comments. Nice Comments. Relationship rumour. Management rumour… Wow these people need to come up with some new stuff, these are becoming old theories now.
‘Idk about u but that rose chick is #hottt!!!!’ Well thanks… uh… @DavidChen67. 

@1DNews247: “I’m sorry but I actually like Rose. She’s made Harry so much better, you’re all just jealous.”

‘She’s made Harry so much better… ‘now what’s up with that.
“I’m usually up at this hour….”
I can’t understand this, there’s obviously something going on right in front of my eyes and I’m missing it.
Why does Harry occasionally go from 100% rad to 100% sad. 
…Not gonna lie that sounded way cooler in my head.

“Yeah alright guys, take five!” The stage manager shouted from across the arena floor.
That’s my cue. I power jumped right off the seat which my thighs were stuck too and I felt the sting on the back of my legs.
“Fucking bitch tits.” I moaned and shuffled down the aisle to the stairs. I ran down skipping two steps at a time until I reached the bottom. 

“Bravo! Bravo!” I said clapping as I walked towards them on the B-Stage. There was security setting up barricades, people doing lighting and managers discussing where props should be going. 

“Great singing guys I thought you were really good!” I smiled.

“Thanks.” Louis retorted as he rolled his eyes. “Nice to see the encouragement from the peanut gallery.” 

“What can I say, I do my very best.” I smiled, grinning extra big just to piss him off. Zayn laughed and took a sip of water from a bottle a security guy just handed him.

“How was sitting with all your friends up there? Good?” Niall asked laughing to himself.

“Yeah it was actually. At least my imaginary friends consist of hot celebrities.”

“Uh, hello.” Zayn said and gestured towards himself and the other guys.

“Sorry…. I’m just not really seeing it.” I laughed and leaned against the stage, tapping my fingers. 

Louis had hopped down to talk to the security manager and Zayn was talking to Harry about something like how he didn’t plan to change his outfit before tonight’s show. Dirty bastard.

I kicked my feet on the floor and took a breath before I turned back around to face them. “Hey, uh Liam.” I proposed.

“Yeah?” He grinned back at me, tying up one of his shoelaces. 

“Can I talk to you for a quick second about something?” 

“Sure, what about?” He said jumping down from the stage and over to me.
I glanced up at Harry only for a second and saw him watching Liam and I as he only half listened to what Zayn was talking about. 

“Uh, maybe not here. Could we go for a walk. Just very briefly.”

“Yeah sure. I gotta go change my shirt before the next couple of songs, I’m starting to smell.” He laughed.


“Come on let’s go.”


“So what’s up?” He smiled as we walked side by side down the backstage corridors of the arena. I only had little legs and I was skipping a little to keep up with his fast pace. 

“I want to ask you something… about Harry, but you can’t tell him please.”

Liam smiled a tiny bit and clapped his hands together.
“Wow okay, look, before you start, I know he fanci-“

“Ahhhhhhh! Stop right there! I don’t need to know who he wants to root or not, I’m not about that life mate.”

“Oh! Haha, alright. That was a close call then…” Liam mumbled. “Anyway, what do you want to know.”

“Well. Last night when we were sitting in my room, and it was really late, Harry started saying things like, I don’t know… 'I'm usually up at this time of night. Thinking about stuff. Don't worry why.'What does he mean by that. I don’t have a clue and he wouldn’t tell me.” I asked.

Liam kept walking but had an anxious look on his face.

“I know you know. Come on.”
“I don’t know if it’s my place to tell.” 
“I’m just not sure.”

“Oh come on. I’m gonna find out one way or another. Wouldn’t you rather me find out from you than twitter or something!”

“Look, I can tell you one thing and that is I know Harry’s quite… specific about you.”

“What the hell does that mean.” I asked, bubbling with rage for a moment. Specific about me! What so I had to be the right type of person for him to be friends with.

“That probably wasn’t the right way to word it.” Liam smiled nervously at some people passing by trying to assure them we weren’t fighting in the hallway.
“I mean, he really likes how you’re there for him. It’s nice for him to finally have… someone, that he can be with. I don’t know. I guess he doesn’t want to scare you away.”

“Scare me away? Good luck trying.” I chuckled. 

“Look.” Liam said and grabbed my arm, swinging me around into what I first thought was a random closet but it turned out to be the male dressing room. 

“Harry was not exactly… well, before he met you.” 

“What do you mean?”
I took a seat down on one of the makeup chairs and spun around to face Liam who had already taken his shirt off. I spun quickly back around to face the wall.
“Jesus man could you give me some warning before you just rip off your shirt. You have a girlfriend, I feel like I’m a betrayer!” 

“Oh shutup.” He laughed. 
“So continue on.”
“…Don’t make me say it Rose.”
“Say what? Why wasn’t Harry well?”

“He was… Ah man, don’t breathe a word of this.” He said throwing over a new shirt. He scratched his face and took a seat down on the chair beside me.
“Look. Harry was depressed and I don’t mean ‘oh he just had a couple of rough days’ I mean properly… depressed. And he’s not completely better obviously… but since he’s met you he’s been a hell of a lot better I’ll tell you that.” 

I sat there in shock. You could have made me write a list of 100 reasons of what I thought was going on and that would not have even crossed my mind.
I felt bad almost for not seeing it straight away. 

“I- Uh, I don’t see how I have anything to do with that.” I spluttered. 

“Oh come on, you must see it a bit. It might be easier for us to see the change if you didn’t know him a couple months ago but just look. He laughs now. And I could honestly tell you it was hard to even crack a smile out of him before.”

A million things ran through my head but most of all were the memories back from when I first met him and how down he was that night.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Liam said. “You’re thinking you can’t believe a word of what I’m saying and then you’re remembering back to when you first met him and it all clicks.”
Well that was a good fucking guess…

“I’m not gonna say anything more about it.” Liam said. “I’ve been naughty telling you all this. But I agree it’s the best way to hear it if Harry wouldn’t tell you himself.”

I nodded understandingly and started playing with my lips.

“Now I’ve seen the people he hangs around with and you’re not like them. I know you won’t hurt him and I know you know it too. It’s just none of us want to see him get to that stage again. It’s plain right awful and travelling with someone who you can’t have a good time with. I don’t know… he seems to relate to you.”

I sat there and didn’t even move. Liam stood up and patted his hands on his jeans and smoothed his hair in the mirror.
“Come on snap out of it, I don’t want to look suspicious when we go back.”

“Yeah, sorry.” I smiled. “I’m back, I’m fine.” I laughed loosely. “And thanks.” 

Suddenly the door slammed open and bursting through came Zayn full of over hype. His smile could light up a city by the look on his face, and with a quick hand slap to Liam and a wink in the mirror, he slammed down on the chair Liam had just gotten off and put his legs up on the makeup bench. 

“So. what are we chatting about then?” He smiled, stretching his arms behind his head.

“…Did Harry send you?” Liam asked, grabbing a jacket off the doorhandle.

“Nah, why would he. He’s off talking to Lou somewhere.” 

I breathed a sigh of relief and watched Liam shrug as he made his way off through the door. Zayn checked through his phone as I sat there quietly still trying to process what Liam had just told me. Depressed. Harry was depressed.

“Hey, wanna come with me outside to the caravan to grab my ear pieces. I left them in there.” Zayn suggested without looking up at me.

“Uh sure, why not.” I smiled. “Might be good to get some air.”


“I wouldn’t be able to deal with going on stage with a million people out in the audience man, how do you even do it.”

“Eh, you get used to it.” Zayn shrugged.

“Just an everyday routine I suppose, for you guys.”

Zayn smiled and folded his arms as we walked down the hallway.
“Haha, I mean being screamed at by thousands of girls how do you even do that. Like please explain.” 

“You make it out as if it’s a battlefield or something. It’s really not that bad.” He chuckled and checked his phone. 

“All your fans have to be overreacting, I mean look at you.” I laughed and scratched at his chin. “You’ve got breadcrumbs stuck in your beard.”

“Hey!” He snapped defensively. “It’s stubble, not a beard… And I had a gourmet chicken sandwich earlier.” 

“Oh piss off.” I laughed. “’A gourmet chicken sandwich.’” I mocked him in a posh British snub voice. 

We both laughed and then Zayn stopped right before we hit the door to the tour bus outside. 
“Go ahead, I’ll be out there in a sec, I need to take a piss.”
“Wow, real charming. Sometimes I wonder how Perrie can stand being apart from you.”
“She’s a trooper.” He laughed and opened the door to the men’s bathroom.

Okay… Zayn’s ear pieces. Now where would they be… Probably under a piece of stale underpants knowing them…
I pushed open the door and stepped outside, automatically making my way to the tourbus. Suddenly high pitched screams came blasting from the surrounding fences. I looked up in surprise to see hundreds of girls holding onto the gates around the back area. I glanced at my watch. 6:07pm. Well shit.

Guards circling the area ready to grab any girls who manage to burst the gates down stared at me suspiciously, but after eyeing the security pass on my neck they tended to agree I wasn’t an escapee fan who had snuck into the building. I didn’t know where to look. It was so loud. 
The only way to go was back, so I turned around and grabbed the door handle only to elbow myself in the ribs when I yanked the door and it didn’t open. I looked up at a sign printed on the door. “Door 63 only opens from the inside. Key’s required for outside access.”

Then it hit me. Zayn. 
It was all Zayn being a little asshole after I told him I wouldn’t like to face screaming crowds of girls and being the douche he is planned for me to go outside where I couldn’t get back in. 


“haha thanks.” He texted back. I was about to try and punch the lock on the door which would do absolutely nothing but I was getting feroCIOUS MAN, when he texted me again. 
“i’ll be there soon. busy. go look for my earpieces. cya soon.”

“Rose! Rose! Rose! Over hereeeeee!! Rose!!!” I could hear from every corner of the boundaries. 
Not going to lie it was downright creepy that all those people knew my name. 
I didn’t know what to do so I gave a little wave as I squinted my eyes in the sunlight. Screams went high. Oh my god.

I whipped out another text, this time to Harry. 

Harry: What’s wrong? Are you okay??

Rose:…Zayn locked me outside. Fans going crazy like a lil bitch. Please send me someone to let me back inside!!

Harry:Wow I thought you were in real trouble…

What a little bitch. I am in real trouble. This is a serious situation.

Harry:…I’ll send someone for you. Hang tight.

Well great. What am I supposed to do now, I’m not getting Zayns damn earpieces that’s for sure. 
The security guard gave me a stare that sensed ‘if you go over there goodluck, they’re crazy.’ But I ignored it and decided if I was going to be locked outside I may as well make the most of it.

I walked over to a bunch of girls near the far right side of the fence and phones were being waved around and cameras flashed. I was completely put off but I kept walking while saying ‘Shhhh… please don’t be crazy I’m just a normal person.”
…We all know how much use that is…

“Rose! You’re Rose Williams!” A girl with sharp black hair smiled at me. 
“Yeah man haha that’s me.” 
“Wow. What are you guys up too in there? Are they rehearsing or what?” Another girl beside her asked. 
“How do you know I’m not sitting forever alone in the dressing rooms back inside.” I laughed. 

“You’re allowed in the boys dressing rooms!? Do you see them without shirts a lot!” A little girl screamed at me and I laughed really hard.
“Of course you’re not sitting alone in there.” The girl with black hair butted back in. “That’s why you’re here. You’re Harry’s bestfriend right?” 
“I’m friends with all them haha.” I stuttered.
“Yeah maybe so, but Harry looks at you all funny, you make him smile the most.”
“Not for the reasons you think.” I told her.

I could feel a tugging on my skirt hem and I looked down to see a little five year old girl with gorgeous blonde piggytails smiling up at me. Her mum stood by her side smiling.
“Excwuse me Rose. Um. I just wanted to ask you somethwing secret.” 
I kneeled down and smiled at her through the gates.
“Of course, what is it!”
“Um. I was just wondering, if you could give my card, to Harry, cause I spent so much hours on it and I decowated it with sparkles.”
I didn’t even hesitate. Now I’m a mean bitch when I want to be but deep down I actually have a soul.
“Absolutely! I’ll be seeing him as soon as I get back inside and I will give it to him first thing!” I gleamed at her.
She laughed and jumped up and down.
“What was your name?” I asked her.
“Melanie Styles!!”
“Melanie Styles.” I smiled and stood back up with the card in my hand. “Of course.”

After about ten minutes I’d forgotten completely about everything that had happened that day up to the point I’d forgotten I was even stuck outside. 
I was sat down on one side of the fence with the girls on the other side and I basically just got asked a shit tonne of questions. 
“Wait so do you get to travel with them?”
“When they invite me along.”

“What about Harry, does he snore?”
“Uh no.”

“How do you know that?”
“Hmm… good question you got me there.”

“Does Louis always pull pranks?”
“No he’s a pussy. It’s Zayn who pulls the jokes which only he finds funny.”

“Are any of the boys going to come outside?”
“Don’t think so.”

“Can you go get one of them!! Or text them to come and get you.”
“Trust me they won’t come. Harry was supposed to send someone to get me half an hour ago and look how that’s turned out.”

“ROOOOOSEEEE!” I heard from the entrance door. Oh come on, could that have been anymore untimely. Millions of screams shot up so loud I jumped to my feet and had to walk a couple metres back. Every pair of eyes were shooting to the same spot and I instantly knew exactly who it was. 
The once civilised fans I was talking to only seconds ago had turned savage as I saw Harry running towards me. 
Is he fucking crazy.

I walked up to him and met him half way. 
“Sorry I’m late.” He puffed. “Got caught up.”
“It’s okay. But you didn’t really have to come get me, you could have just sent someone like you said you were going to. Look at the commotion you’ve stirred up.” I smiled.
“What, aren’t you happy to see me?” He smirked.
“…Of course I’m happy.” I smiled and punched him in the arm as he pulled me into a hug.
Probably shouldn’t have it done as the screams rose past insanity but it felt good.
“So making friends were we?” Harry laughed and swung some keys around his finger.
“Yeah. They’re good to fall back on when my other five lock me outside.” 
“Come on, I’ve got to get ready. Doors open to the arena soon and I’d like you not to be late this time.”
“That was ONE time. One time…” 

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