Alrightie, whose ready for chapter one, I know I am!!
Im going to list some songs that go with each chapter.. so yay, only four or five though. (this is a Louis chapter, so the songs connect to how he feels)
When She Cries-Britt Nicole (obvi would be a boy though instead of a girl)
Living Louder-The Cab
Hello Cold World-Paramore
Chapter 1: Razor Blades and Bruises
You can do it..
Just a little longer..
You can wait, just hold it in..
My mind was spiraling as the kids in my math classed joked around. Just one word. Then another. It wont matter. They will just leave me little slices in my arm later. One, two, maybe three. I wasnt like they said I was. I wasnt a nerd, a loner, a faggot. Why couldnt they leave me alone? Why didnt they understand? How did they not see I was hurting? I wasnt that good of an actor was I?
"Hey, Louis?" One of the jocks called as the bell rang. I stood up gathering my things. I looked over to Jordan as he approached me. "Maybe you should start shopping in the mens section and stop buying womens clothing!" He snapped as he smacked my books out of my hands.
I sighed looking down at myself. The shirt wasnt at all womanly actually. Maybe a bit clingy. But not womanly. It was a navy blue, long sleeved sweater, perfect for the cold weather. I loved cold weather, it meant long sleeves without an excuse. With a shake of my head, I knelt down to grab my books again, dumping them into my bag and checked around my back pack. I had my supplies and now was a study period. Now would be the perfect time to-
No, Louis, dont be stupid. You're in school!
"Faggot!" One of the other kids barked, shoving me out of the way, nearly causing me to fall.
"Hey! Knock it off!" My friend Hannah yelled at the kid as she rushed over to me. "Lou, you alright?" She asked once the kid moved on.
I swallowed back the stinging of tears in my throat as I snatched up my bag. "I'm f-fine," I just barely got out as I ran toward the door.
"Louis!" Hannah's voice was just barely audible as I ran through the doors of the mens bathroom.
I checked to make sure the stalls were empty before I locked the door. I quickly dropped my backpack to the counter and dug through until I found the small bag hidden inside. I dug out the cold blade and set it down on the counter, pulling up the sleeves on my sweater. I held my breathe as I grasped the blade steadily trying to clear my head. Maybe I didnt have to do this. Not here. Not now.
"You're worthless!" "Faggot!" "You piece of shit!" "How did I end up with such a horrible son like you?!"
Without a second thought, I found myself blindly slashing at my arms, just making out the pain in the very back of my mind. It was so far away, the stinging it left behind. I stared down at my bloody arm, letting the blade clatter to the floor. I watched the blood rise and pool, dripping to the floor. My chest didnt feel so tight anymore, I could breathe again. The words and taunts no longer haunted me. They were gone.
I worked quickly again, packing my supplies back into my bag. I turned the water on rinsing all the red off my arm, hissing at the stinging. If I thought it stung now.. I pulled out the peroxide. I had to be smart. I didnt want any infections. Infection meant questions and questions meant they would all figure out. Figure out that I was broken and crazy. Maybe they would take me away. I bit my lip at the pain in my arm as the peroxide took away any chance of infection. I sighed and bandaged my arm before pulling down the sleeves and cleaning any excess blood from the floor I missed.
I made my way out of the bathroom, making it look like nothing happened. Like I hadnt just had a break down.
And no one even seemed to notice.
"LOUIS TROY AUSTIN!" My fathers voice echoed down the hall.
What could it be now? I only just walked inside. It cant start yet. I just want some time to breathe, I thought.
"Get in here!" I heard him snap.
I sighed and walked into the room where my mum was sitting with my sister Georgia, who was playing with one of her cabbage patch dolls. She was only ten at the time.
"Lou-bear!" She chirped, jumping up to give me a big hug.
"Hey, bug." I smiled, giving her a small hug back. Our dad was watching us impatiently.
"Georgia, lets go to the kitchen, okay?" My mother had fear in her big eyes and I knew something was going to happen. I could smell the liquor from where I was standing and it was starting to make me sick. Georgia nodded before she slowly made her way from the room. She peeked around the corner before mum took ahold of her shoulder and closed the door.
"Something the matter, dad?" I asked, trying to make myself look as innocent as possible.
"Mallory's mother told me you were caught skipping english today."
"Mrs. Rose doesnt know crap." I said dropping my bag to the floor. Mrs. Rose was so right though. How did she know? I didnt go to english so how did my freaking english teacher know I was skipping? I mean, besides me obviously not showing up to class. But how did she know I got caught by a security guard? Do they tell the teachers or something?
"Why the fuck were you skipping english?"
I sighed in defeat. Might as well. I was skipping all this week. "I dont go to english. The kids in that class are mean to me the whole time. So I just dont go."
His sudden heavy, angry breathing caused me to look up. He was deffinitely wasted. "Just dont go? What the fuck do I send you to school for then?!"
I shrugged. "To learn, I suppose. I was going to just switch to a different english class and-"
"No, you're going to stay in that damn english class and stop being a fucking pussy!" My father shot out of his chair, throwing the glass that had been sitting beside him to the floor.
"Shut up you dumb fuck!"
"Troy.." My mum's voice caused us to look over at her. My dad was still fuming. I grunted as he shoved me back, making me hit the wall hard.
"Stay out of this! You're the reason he's like this! You're too soft on him, Johanna!" He screamed in my mothers face. I shot up to my feet, stomping toward him. He couldnt talk to my mum like that!
Mum gave me a hard look, causing me to pause. She turned back to Troy. "Dont talk to me like that, Im not some bitch you can just order around. Im your wife!"
"Yes, my wife-MY WIFE!" He said slamming his fist into the wall, backing her up against the door. My sister whimpered on the other side, I could hear her crying. "And as my fucking wife you will do as I say and not question me!"
Mum managed to get away from the wall and make enough room for me to move. "Lou, go take Georgia to her room, sweetie."
"No, you stay right fucking here, Im not done with you!" Troy said trying to turn back to me. Mum kept a hold on him.
"Go," she snapped.
I shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed a crying Georgia into my arms before I walked up the stairs. "Why is daddy mad?" Georgia whispered into my neck as she cried. I closed the door behind us. Mum and dads yells could barely be heard behind the door now.
"Lou-bear did a bad thing, but its okay. Im going to fix it, okay?" I told her, ruffling her hair.
"What did you do that was bad?"
"I didnt go to my classes. So Im in a lot of trouble."
"Why didnt you go?" She asked, continuing her questions.
I sighed. "Because, the kids in the class are mean to me."
"Why are they mean, Lou-bear?"
I thought for a second. What was a rational reason why they were mean to me? There wasnt one. So what was I supposed to say? "Because Im different from them."
"You arent different, Louis." She said crawling to sit in my lap. Another glass shattered downstairs and Georgia flinched into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, shushing her gently.
"Its okay, shh. It'll be alright."
"Make it stop, Lou." She whispered.
"I wish I could.." I whispered back.
"FUCK!" I screamed, flipping the table over beside my bed. I was glad Georgia's room was across the house so I wouldnt have to worry about waking her. I threw all my school papers off the desk and to the floor. I hated this. This family, my father, everything.
I dumped my bag onto my bed, spilling its contents. I promised myself I wouldnt do it, not again, not today. But I couldnt handle anymore right now. I couldnt dismiss the call of the blade from inside my bag. The way it sang, the way it called specifically to me. I moved the papers around until I found my savior and grabbed it in my hand. I threw my shirt over my head, focusing on my other arm; the other was still too raw to do much to it again. I was about to take a steady swipe when I hand grabbed my wrist. I let out a yelp as that pale hand touched me, sending a cold feeling through my arm, like ice was traveling through my veins. It was so painful.
When I looked up, I met bright red eyes set into a dark haired face. The woman standing before me surely had to be the most beautiful woman I had seen in my entire life. Her silky black hair fell around her to her waist like a curtain. Her cheek bones were that of a model, angular and perfect. Despite the red eyes, pale skin and cold touch, her beauty was like a pull. I wasnt as afraid as I should have been of this strange woman standing in my room. I sat down quickly as I stared up at her in shock. Who was she? How did she even get in here??
She took the blade from my hand before setting it down on the desk next to us. "Why?" She asked simply. The words rang through the air, like wind chimes in the breeze. It was beautiful, just like she was.
"I..." I trailed off unsure. "Who are you?"
She gave a slow smile, one that sent chills down my spine. "My name is Lilias. I am here to help."
I gave my head a shake. "No one can help me. I mean, I dont need help. How did you get in my room?"
"Here," Lilias said, taking my hand in hers. I felt something cold press into my palm and she curled my fingers around it. "Keep it safe. It could be of good use, Louis."
"How do you know my name?" I asked as I looked down at my closed hand, slowly opening it. I stared down at the gold ring with the large red jewel in it. "What is this?"
But when I looked up, the woman was gone.
Another new story! I hope you guys like it.