I’m in here sitting, invisible, and listening. Listening to the students whom the school board claim to be the “best the school has to offer”, the cheerleaders, preps, and jocks, talk about treating their teammates, the people who they call their “second family”, like a dog’s squeaky toy. Throwing the smallest on their team like a rag doll. Gossiping like 7th grade girls at a slumber party.
Oh high school -- the “best 4 years of our lives” as they call it. They say you’ll look back and miss every little bit of it, I don’t doubt that but I also don’t completely agree with it. I will most certainly not miss the off-the-bat judgements that we give each other, whether we realize we do it or not. Or the constant feeling of fear and anxiety that come with thinking about the future. Sometimes I stop and really look at everyone in the halls. Wondering who will ever actually grow up past the times of gossip, drama, friendships, and hatreds. I always say you should never grow up, but in all actuality, that’s exactly what we need to do to avoid living these 4 years over and over again.
Everyone has scars they hide and stories they will never tell, so why do we alienate people who let the world see who they really are? Is it the fact that we simply do not understand that it is alright to be different? So they may listen to different music, come form a different background, or they may have different dreams than we do, does that really give any of us any sort of reason to treat them any differently than we want to be treated? So i write this as an outsider looking in, that one girl who always sits in the back of the class, who almost never talks to anyone but her friends, the silent observer, the dreamer, and the thinker. All my life I’ve been criticized for being her they always say, “Hey, what’s you’re problem? Just pay attention like everyone else. Just be like everyone else.” Why are we being compared to everyone else when that “everyone” is made up of individuals who all have personalities, lives, truths, and lies of their own? There is no “everyone”.
I want to live in a world in which people are not criticized for being themselves and doing what they want. The society we live in to day is so hypocritical. They tell us it’s okay to be who we are and yet when we do, they make us feel even worse than when we were hiding everything. They teach to love who you are, but only if who you are is their definition of perfect. Over-all perfection is non-existent, create your own definition of perfection, and abide to it as you please. In this world we to often lets others choose how we want to live. What happened to standing up for what you believe in and being who you wanted?
Our society is so dead set on being “normal”, that it forces all the problems that could be solved with a simple hug or smile down so far that they begin to fester and eat away at someone until they are nothing but an empty shell.
Reality is a sick, twisted, dark, and frightening. Reality rips and tears everything we have ever loved and cherished away from us, and they say those who have survived that are the strongest. What so great about being the strongest, when even the strongest break. Its amazing to think that every single person on this planet has secrets, fantasies, dreams, nightmares, and demons of their own. They all have battles they have fought and are still fighting. They all have that fear, anger, anxiety, and darkness churning deep down. That little monster that resides within us all. I tell people this a lot, and usually they ask me why i think about such things, I always answer with “Because thats how our cruel world works so why shouldn’t I?” Sometimes I like to be sad more than I like to be happy. It’s deeper, when you’re happy you take whatever comes your way with a smile and just go with it. When you’re sad, you see things for how they truly are. You can’t sugarcoat everything forever, if you try reality will hit you like a brick wall.