7. There is Always Something
"There is always something that will stand in your way. There will always be someone to push further away." - j.s
You know about this girl, yes? You've read her story so far. I repeat: so far. Bear that in mind.
What you don't know yet is that she became best friends with the idea of pain, sounds quite dangerous does it not? I remember this girl throwing herself down flights of stairs to see if she could feel anything. I remember this girl staring at the mess of blood and bruises carved into her skin.
But most of all I remember this girl letting someone close to her, letting them love her, letting them be there for her. She put all her trust in them, made them her world, allowed herself to love them. Then when that was set in stone, she would say and do awful things to them so they would bite back, they would do the same to her, give her a reason to hurt some more. This you see, was her most elaborate form of self harm.
What happened with this person you ask? They left her of course, they couldn't stay with someone so torturous could they?
But this girl, she knew pain, but never like that. The way they left her so easily made her sick, made her hurt in every inch of her body. It made her hate herself that much more.
I don't know for how long she felt this way, or how long she cried and took it out on herself. It was a long time before she spoke about it. A long time before she could stop feeling pain. A long time for her to be okay.