Now you know much about this girl, you know her story but you don't know her ending.
She was in such a place she couldn't see anything around her clearly, she was drowning for a very long time.
But that is the thing about pain, after a while it can be no more, it fades away with the ocean waves.
Let me share with you something she wrote the night that everything turned around for her. This is what she wrote, this is what she wanted to put into the world before she left herself behind:
"change is a funny thing. it can happen all at once or gradually. it is something which is impossible to prevent, yet both despised and adored. people are constantly changing, for better or worse. people come into your life and they leave just as quickly, but maybe that's good? you will never know until you wake up one day and accept that change has occurred, fight it all you want but it is inevitable.
nothing stays the same forever and if it did, well, we would be awfully boring as a species. the concept of change is something that is always there but yet isn't noticeable until you look back.
how many times have you wished you could have changed the past?
well, no amount of guilt will change the past and no amount of anxiety will change the future.
"where does that leave me?" you ask.
well, it leaves you right in middle ground. it leaves you with the ability to breathe and to just accept that what will be, will be.
change is inevitable, just as oblivion is. but it should not be feared, it should be welcomed. for if many people had not changed then the world would not be turning to this day. but people are forever changing, people move on and quite often forget, but that isn't always a bad thing. it will hurt. it will cause pain and heart ache and sleepless nights and puffy eyes. but one day, you will wake up and say to yourself that you want to change, you want to stop hurting and you want to smile. a proper smile.
so, little one, i am telling you to smile, i am telling you to change and not care about what people think because through change you will discover those who are meant to be there for a long time. not just the temporary highs.
little one, change is something you must become accustomed to, it may not always be pleasant but if you believe it is needed what have you got to lose? "a lot." you say. that is incorrect, you will feel you have a lot to lose but in reality you are simply making room for something better. you may feel alone and incomplete even when around those you are closest to but with time and with the acceptance of change, you will be okay.
little one, it won't be easy, life will always find a way to tear you down, but i promise if you pick yourself up and wipe your eyes enough times you will become stronger. you are not weak but you are not strong. you are human.
don't change yourself, just readjust your mindset.
you are a dilemma little one, you are easily frightened and you easily lose faith in people. it is only expected. but you are human, just a little more fragile than everyone.
little one, it will be okay and if it's not okay, it's not the end.
don't see the world through blurred vision. look up at the stars and not the ground. each star is an infinity, so see what each one holds because somewhere up there is your perfect infinity, your infinite infinity. stick around to see what it is because i promise you, it is worth it.
change your mindset little one, lift your head up, smile wide and live for what makes you happy. anyone who stands in the way is obviously not part of your infinite infinity.
little one, stop fighting change. work with it and not your demons, you will prevail. you have my opinion now. so take it and take a deep breath, wipe the tears, stitch up that heart of yours, stand tall and move on. it's time to change for the better. it's time to be your own hero."
Dear reader, I ask of you to read this and re-read. I ask of you to listen to what she was saying because they were the last things that fragile and broken girl said.