I glance at the ring on my nightstand. The moonlight hits the silver and reflects back into my rose tinted lenses, as I lie in a far too empty bed chasing sleep that will never come. I have barely slept since she left. Since I sent her away.
She was so perfect. Everything other than the painful fact that she was so heartless. How could she do this? How could she seek comfort in that jerk? I was always there for her. She promised she would never leave me, but where is she now? Somewhere away from me. Somewhere that means if I was to even catch the slightest amount of sleep tonight, I'd have to wake up alone.
I remember those days when I was covered in bruises and lacerations those months ago. And none of it hurt as bad as this. They've tried to get me out of this room. They've tried to get me to continue training. I won't. They don't understand. No one does. She was everything. She was the first person I trusted after the accident that killed my family. And she betrayed me.
I have nothing.
But I need her still. Does that make me weak? Am I just supposed to move on from this? Can I just get up and carry on? Because I just don't think that's possible now. I wouldn't be here without her. She saved me.
I give up on sleep and leave the bed that should still contain the beautiful redhead. I walk over to the window and draw back the curtains. Looking up to the stars, I hope she is looking at the same sky. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and removing my glasses. The restrictions on my sight are nothing compared to the restrictions she has put on my heart. I am caged in here with my emotions. Everything I need to escape is everything that surrounds me. This room has seen so many memories. This is where we first said I love you. Where we first spent the night together.
I replace my glasses and lean against the wall beside the window. The weakness that comes with starving yourself of food, sleep and human contact for over a day starts to take its toll on me. I let my legs give out and slide to the floor.
What did he do to get her to choose him? Why did she lie to me? How long did she sleep beside me, whilst dreaming of him? When we kissed, was she always thinking of him? The questions hurt my mind, repeat themselves in my brain. I close my eyes, letting a tear escape. At least that answers one of my previous questions - I am weak.
Can't I just forget I ever learnt about her being with him? Can't I go back to when everything was perfect?
And that is it. That is where I stay. Sat alone, praying for sleep to take me away from the pain. The strong, fearless leader of the X-Men, reduced to less than nothing by a beautiful, heartless girl.
**So, yeah. I guess these two chapters have shown just how different Scott and Evelyn have dealt with recent events. xD Actually, both the last scene with Evelyn and John, and this chapter were both inspired by different songs by The Cab ('Animal' and 'Lovesick Fool'). Check them out. Great band. :)**