Holding My Breath

This is the second movella in the series, to read the first one go to: http://www.movellas.com/da/story/201309151613030721-still-breathing :D Sorry about the bad grammar! :D Hope you enjoy


5. Wounded eyes brings doubt

Quick writers note: Sorry the delay, my internet aren't working like it should...


“Where is she?” I was starring him into the eyes. After an hour of her being ‘where-only-gods-know’ all they knew was her old house.


Bramai tells…

We hadn’t said a word in hours. Can’t the soldier telling us to go home come soon? Someone was coming. With incredible speed – but as the flowers waved for the speed, the person stopped. I was stunned at first. She looked around her, at the house, the flowers the fields and the forest. Her face looked like an angel, but the body like a warrior. From tip to toe, she was covered in knives. The sun shinning bright above us, I started questioning her. Who are you? Where are you from? Why are you so armed?

Then my superior nodded towards us, three seconds to jump. Slowly she bended down and took a flower and raised her head while smiling and sniffing to the weird flower. With her eyes closed.

2 seconds left – some had already taken the lead, my feet let go of the ground and the knife was towards her. In a circle we had captured her.

“Hello” she said as she opened her eyes “I guess you’re here to escort me to the prison, aren’t I right?” Her voice was calm and sounded like it didn’t care much – like this had no interest.

“You take your hands to your head, while we take your weapons,” my commander said.

She smiled as she raised her hands to her head. “So tempting” I heard her mumble. She is nothing but a child… I felt guilt instantly. Why was 20 people called to capture her?

My commander started removing every knife on her body. When he had done so, all she was standing in was some weird looking shoes, a t-shirt and a pair of thin shorts.

“Is that all?” he  asked and made her looked at the knives. She nodded smilingly.

“I don’t see the point in removing my knives” she noticed.

“King’s request” the commander said. The shirt came forward. Old and brown, and smells like hell. Making every arm hold around it’s vessel, with chains and locks – 17 locks. There is a silver spine in the shirt, forcing the person wearing it to lean forward and holding the head down. Then there’s the hood making anyone unable to see who it is, and for the person wearing it to see anything other than the ground.

When she was in it – and not even forced! – everyone got on their horse, except the commander, who chained her to the horse in her legs, and arms. After that he chained her to my horse and my friend Greg’s horse.

As we went she started laughing like it was a joke. Chaining her up like this!

I felt disgust – but the commander had said it was the kings request… would this had happened to her, if she had stayed with the family?

The silence was killing during our ride. We’ll first arrive at night, and even then it will be hot and killing. The only sound that ever was besides from the forest and animals, was from her. Either she was laughing or acting like the horse understood her – and talked to it in a language that I don’t know.

After two hours, the commander admitted that the heat was to much – everybody would need some water. We stopped at a little pond. The last one to get of the horse was her. The commander surely broke a rule when he let her arms move by opening some of the locks. With her hands she removed the hood and got on her knees at the pond. I saw her taking water in the face slow and smiling.

“Three hours left – “ The commander went to me. “Make sure Aria takes some water. None of us should faint”. After the water had dripped of she sat down, leaning on a tree and relaxing. This little girl… I don’t get it!

“Don’t let her fool you” I heard my commander said to Aria who had said something about losing a bit up around her. “She’s a more heartless killer than her dad”. The girl didn’t react on that.

Adrian is probably pissed of” That was the second time I heard her speaking. Adrian? The Lighter who brought her here? Why should he be pissed? And why is she still talking … that human language?

“Rachael” the commander said in same language “Can you come her, so we can put the locks on?” Apparently Arias talk had an effect anyway… she got up and walked to him, without saying a word.

“Thank you” he said. But he put every lock on her anyway. And the night started spreading. I could hear her breath heavily.  

 We arrived at the castle in the darkness. Even though the walls was big, our group covering her had trouble getting through. Prince Jamie was walking in the opposite direction, seeing us he stopped and smiled at my commander.

“Why are all of you crowded up like that?” he asked smilingly.

“I’m sorry, but it’s not safe for you-“ I starred down at her. I could almost feel the pain in her back. How can she still be standing?

Like he realized what my commander meant, he smiled. “You’re transporting Rachael… where are you taking her?”

“The kings orders” My commander said “I’m sorry, but can you get into next room until we have walked past it? We’ll rather not put you at risk.” I looked at her again. She doesn’t look like a risk. He nodded and disappeared behind a door. When we walked by it, I could see she tried turning her head, to accomplish nothing. The walls got nearer to each other as we reached the prison part. In the darkness she slowly was placed in the prison forged with magic. Only having a small mattress and a hand small window to let light in.

“This is where you’ll stay while being here” my commander explained her. “Here you’ll also be safe”. He helped her get the shirt off, and walked out of the cell. I looked at her. Her legs had gotten dirty from the horse, her face wet from sweat. I bit my lip and started my shift. I had been chosen to stay as her guard. The lighter Adrian that was supposed to bring her apparently knew exactly where she was. After an hour he appeared in the door, asking to see her. One of the few who had permission. I nodded and let him pass to the cell.

“WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING?” I turned around in surprise when I heard him yell. He didn’t notice me, she was standing close to the bars – not touching them is a good idea.

“I hate waiting” she answered in her weird human language “And the guards was really late”.

“You know why we’re here, why can’t you be serious about this?” he looked tired. It must be hard, being around a troublesome girl like that. She smiled at him. “One of us have to joke – and to be honest I don’t fear anything. Death is a good friend of mine” as she said it she laughed and walked back in the cell.

“You could have stayed with my family – and not in a cell” he noticed.

“Adrian, don’t you realize that no matter what I would have been put in here?” As she said it she sighed. She walked to the bar again.

“We still have a communicating problem” she noticed “I know how to fix it – but it demands you might get a little sick. Make Crish explain it to you – just say it’s like the body thing I do, just with the mind”. I looked at Adrian, he stared confused at her. But then sighed. “FINE!” He walked angry out of the old wooden door.

She walked back to the small window in the cell..

The night is celebrating her capture right now… Everyone could hear the party outside. My family is not with them – they are afraid of this girl, I’m suppose to guard. She doesn’t seem like the person that would need a guard.


Jamie tells…

I’m breathless. The only think separating us, was a wall of guards. I want to see her now! My feet walked me to my door. Slowly I rested my head on the hard wood. How am I supposed to stand next to my dad tomorrow, if I can’t even control myself now? Ever since the announcement of her arrival I have had trouble sleeping, not knowing who could hurt her. Now she’s here, not far from my reach, and if I can’t control myself, she’ll get into far more trouble! My hand is laying on the handle. She’s safe here. Safer than if she was in the human world. That should make it easy to rest. I may not be able to say hello to her tomorrow… or the day after that. But at least I will see her.

I took my hand of the handle, lifted my head, and walked to the bed. A good nights rest should help me – I need one badly.


I woke up to chaos. Not normal everyone-is-fighting-chaos, but a kingdom that don’t know which foot to stand on. When I woke up I took a look out the window. Every sign of the parties had been removed, the street shinning like never before. A line from the castle filled with women and men going from the start to the gate of the kingdom. Not everyone will get in. And those who aren’t in the line is waiting patiently in their homes, where they can see the trial on the Videre. The nobles will have their seat – and the people will have theirs. The people look more after the nobles than after us – since the nobles are so bound by old traditions. This is really something the people will love. Every person over seventeen have been given a Cyta. On the last day, they will give their vote. If there’s a greater number that wishes her light than dark, the decision falls to the nobles. If they choose her to be dark, by being outnumbered in that – she will be marked dark. But then again, if she is told she’s dark by the people, that is the verdict.

In the morning sun I got my formal dressing, with sword and medals… uncomfortable, but dad asked me to wear it – just like he will wear is formal dressing. My room seemed quiet and calm – like the silence before a storm. The storm was just outside my door, where the personal of the castle was in chaos – everything had to be perfect.

They were running around with food, clothing, and all kinds of stuff. Choosing to ignore it, I walked to the big hall this is going down in. I found my spot I stood there waiting. I closed my eyes and let my head fall I little down. The silence in my head is better than anything else. People is crowding in – finding their spots. I heard the first few steps. The nobles have arrived – or some of them. Even from this spot, if I opened my eyes, I wouldn’t be able to see them. But they will see me. I heard dad sit down beside me. Soon it will start.

“It’s beautiful outside” dad noticed. So he spent some time in the garden before getting in. There’s beautiful out there. I opened my eyes. The orange sunlight being thrown through the windows makes the room look so different.

The last person sat down, and the guards took their places.

“Finally” I heard dad mumble. The doors opened.


Four guards were escorting her. Bearing chains on feet and hands would be normal, but she even had a giant chain around her stomach. Even though all of this must have an impact on her walking, it didn’t look like it. In fact, she walked more symmetric than anyone I have ever seen. She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look sad either. Her eyes was closed, and she let the guards lead the way. Every person’s eyes is on her, and she is controlling herself perfectly. I glanced at dad – he looked worried.

Her steps towards the Jem where the only sound in the room. Even the guards steps didn’t make a noise.

How can she walk so perfectly, and act so cold towards this situation?

She reached the Jem, and was chained to it. The guards took their positions around her, and the silence became terrifying. She needs to bow. IF she doesn’t this won’t end well…

Her right hand elegantly went in front of her stomach, and with precision, she did a bow so mechanically, that it looked forced.

As she stood up again, her eyes opened. She didn’t glance at me, all she did was look into dad’s eyes. “King”. One word. That was all that she said.

“Rachael” Dad answered “You are being accused of being a dark Lighters. Therefor this marking is hold, to condemn you to the side you belong”. She smiled in the right side of her lips.

“First, the formal knowledge” Dad started “Full Name”.

“Rachael” she answered “You know my last name better than anyone”

Dad didn’t reply, but just started writing.


“Seventeen” she answered. She haven’t noticed me yet. Why is she so focused on Dad, right now?


“Tricia Green” She answered without a blink.


“You know well enough”.

Dad didn’t reply to her answers. It’s clear to everyone that the name of her father has never been spoken before, and she aren’t the one to reveal it.

“Other family relation?”

“Little sister” she answered. Dad didn’t look surprised, like I felt.


“Silencia Green”. Dad wrote it down as quickly as he could.

“Lighter kills?” he asked.

“One dark lighter” she answered. Everyone was staring at her.

“The rest I already have” My dad said and laid the papers aside.

Rachael didn’t answer that one.

“The Lighter Adrian that brought you here, will help you defend your case” Dad noticed “Before the debate begin, anything you would like to add?”

“What about you removed my chains?” She asked “I came here out of my own free will, I have no intentions of leaving before the marking is over”.  She had her hands out, like he would do it from his seat.

“I know you don’t need my help to remove those” Dad replied with an annoyed facial expression.

“You’re correct. But it would be better if you did. The symbolism in the chains is greater than you think” Dad who refused, looked patiently on her. She didn’t remove it herself, but let her hands fall down again.

“Anything else?” Dad asked.

“Yes” She turned away from dad to look at the people.

“I am here to be marked for my own doings, not my Dads. Therefor have in mind that you can’t condemn me for his sins” then she turned around and nodded to my dad. “That is all I have to say”.

“Fine” he said “But you must remember, your dad is the darkest lighter alive. We can’t ignore the fact that you’re his daughter”

“I wouldn’t be here, if that wasn’t a fact” she answered coldly.

“First we’ll go through these charges” Dad waved a list reaching the floor.

“Okay” Rachael was smiling again. How can she be so calm? I looked over dads shoulder, and read some. Most of them was murders on family members – probably committed by her dad.

“First charge” he started “You are accused of associate with other creatures of darkness – so as seen in company of vampires which is only one of the many you have been seen with”.

People was staring at her weirdly, I bit my lip. She can’t be with vampires and other creatures like that, can she?

“I can’t believe that is actually a charge” she looked at the ground and started laughing. “Law § 234 Company of any kind of dark creatures shall be punished due to the company is forbidden”. Everyone stared at her. Everyone always does. Do she really bend down already now?

“Do you have anything to say, to your defense?” Dad asked.

“Law § 589 Company of any kind are not punishable by law, if the meeting is set on information exchange of any kind that does not include taking down the kingdom or King of any kind”. People were sighing.

How the hell does she remember all those laws? It can’t be possible that she remembers all up to law 589!

An advisor was turning around in the law book, everybody was now staring at him.

“Yes” he said “It’s true”.

“What kind of information was exchanged?” Dad asked sighing.

“Mostly Vampires and I train. We exchange trainings style” she said “A deal my father made with the vampires so I get a more variant fighting style”

Dad sat in silence for a minute, looking at her irritated.

“Besides that” she started “Vampires aren’t stupid. Vampires are just like Lighters; they just need blood and can’t stay in sunlight”.

My eyes stayed at dad, who looked like one who needed to throw something.

“Vampires aren’t like Lighters” he said “Not one bit-“

“Vampires ARE Lighters! I can’t believe that you don’t realize how precious this offspring of the Lighter race is-“ she rambled off her quick, some of the words were hard to understand, but after a little time, I got them.

“Vampires aren’t the  offspring of the Lighter race!” Dad was close to yelling.

“Vampires ARE the offspring of the Lighter race!” she leaned forward “HOW can you deny that, when you know how the Vampire race where created?” I looked at dad. The vampire race’s creation? I have never been taught anything about that!

“Vampires are just lighters hit by a disease that can’t be cured! They remain human. They remain people. You treat them just like you treat all other people who are the slightest different from the humans!”

“ENOUGH!” Dad stood up, looking angrily at her. She smiled for herself. “You condemn them to a life, forced to kill to survive”


“YOU AREN’T MY KING!” This was the first time her voice reached that level. A chill went true my spine, leaving my body feel hard and somehow cold.

Dad stood angrily looking at her.

“I am the king of everyone in this room” he said.

“King is not the highest rank of order!” she noticed “You know damn well who appointed your family to that chair, I can’t see why you wasn’t removed years ago”. With those words she finally looked in the ground, wetting her lips, before looking again.

“I excuse myself, my little outbreak. Since you called me here, everyone have given me orders, and it’s starting to get on a nerve”.

Everyone took a deep breath. I weren’t the only one feeling this emptiness, a giant hole left from her words. What is this feeling? And how do I stop it?

“Your family always get on my nerves” my dad said “Your family always say they know what to say and do, but you can’t seem to control yourself”

She smiled. “I have a temper, I can hardly control”.

As I saw her smile, the hole got smaller. What is this? Is the hole some kind of weird emotion, trying to make her happy? I took a deep breath, looking silently at them. My dad looked red in his cheeks.

“It runs in the family doesn’t it?” Dad asked.

“If you’re asking if my dad have ever raised the voice near me, I have to say no” she smiled once again. Her hands hold tightly on the box.

“It doesn’t wonder me” dad responded “Since birth it has been predicted you would bring trouble my way”.

“I know” she said smilingly “But destiny isn’t the reason I’m here today, this is my marking” she suddenly took a deep sigh “And this is taking a lot of time. Let us return to the next subject”.

Dad looked like he hadn’t finished everything he wanted to say, but I could just as him feel the eyes on us. The nobles are watching us carefully.

“Fine. Your kill number” he said “It says only one, and that can only be a lie”.

“The only kill I have ever made on another lighter was recently” She said “I have killed other creatures of course, but I try to stay away from killings”

Some people amongst the people snorted scornfully. She was still smiling like she hadn’t heard it.

“Then if this was your first, then tell us about it” he started “What happened?”

She caught my dads eye of sight.

“Laina was a servant of my dad. Laina got an order to kill my little sister I have sworn to protect with my life”. Her facial expression didn’t change. But I could see her hands was tightening around the box.

“Your little sister?” Dad asked “This little sister – what power does she possess?”

“She is NoMagi” she answered without losing dads eyes. She didn’t even blink.

Dad smiled and laughed “Well, how is that possible? You should think that she would posses the same power as you-“

“No. She is the result of my mother cheating on my dad with a warlock”.

“So that is why your dad wants to kill her?” Dad asked.

“No” she said “My family matters has nothing to do with you” I could see her one eye flashing an image. How did she do that?

“You said you killed your dads servant, because he had orders her to kill your little sister?” Dad repeated.


“Doesn’t that bother you the slightest?” Dad asked, waiting for an answer, like he had cornered her.

“No” Rachael answered “I have no heart to bother” I stared at her, waiting for a smile, saying it was a joke.

“Doesn’t wonder me” Dad started “Futh-“

“Laina chose death by my hand” Rachael started “My family have a policy around servants. They follow every order, and can stay. If they choose not to follow, they can leave in peace, but never return. My dad gave her that chance, and so did I twice”.

So this is bothering her. I tried to keep a smile away, but failed.

“I’m well aware about your policy” Dad said.

“I know” She smiled “You have a room full of clever men and women ready to tell you laws, and way to imprison people and get it your way. I’m certain that you used that room of people to hear everything around my family. The funny thing is that I didn’t have to do that” she suddenly smiled at him “I know your every secret, your ancestors every secret, and the most of this kingdom. I know every lawbook better than my own dressroom”.

Suddenly her smile faded. “But you already know that. And you’ll do anything you can to kill me”. She suddenly lost her smile.

My feet and hands wanted to move, needed to reach her and hug her. Tell her to leave the kingdom and never come back.

As I looked behind her, I could see some of the villagers taking their hands towards her. Both Women and Men.

“You are a devil” My dad noticed “You shouldn’t be alive”.

“I know” she said “I wish I wasn’t either”.

Even dad looked confused and scared for a moment.

Suddenly she shaked her head, and smiled. “Sorry” she said “It seems that I don’t enjoy a night in darkness in a cell”.

“I know – that’s why I put you there”.

She laughed. “You still look at me like an enemy! You are trying to make me weaker by not getting any sleep and make me wear this still”

“I know your kind – this won’t slow you much down” Dad looked irritated.

“You’re right” she said “But for now I will take it slow”.

Dad made signs to the guards to take her back to her cell. Adrian was rapidly following them. Dad and I leaves when everybody is at dinner.

The people was loudly discussing in the dinning room while eating.

“Really – I don’t think she is as bad as her dad” I heard one tell another one. The advisors was all whispering to dad, something about he already fell in her trap by getting angry.

“We know they can hide their feelings – they might as well show fake ones. She only made the people feel doubt. If we act correct, she’ll never get them fully on her side!”

The nobles wasn’t eating with the rest of us. All these voices… I walked to my room and left the noise. I wonder if she is even getting any food? I sat in the window, staring out on the houses. I wonder how many reached their hand towards the Videre when she had spoken? On my shelf I took the Videre. After returning to my window I could open it up and see the sad look on her face again. Does it really show the emotions she wants us to see? Or the ones she feel? I felt the picture, and bit my lip.

“Videre, show me her cell”. On the command, I could see her mattress. She was sitting on it with Adrian by her side. They were both eating and talking together. So she is fine – that’s good.

I turned it off. I wonder how it would be if her dad hadn’t gone dark. Would we be friends? Or more?

When I arrived at the gate to the room, I noticed it was still empty, I looked at dad who was sitting in there with a tired expression.

“She gave me a headache, so I decided to cancel the rest of the day” he said.

I nodded and walked away.

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