Holding My Breath

This is the second movella in the series, to read the first one go to: http://www.movellas.com/da/story/201309151613030721-still-breathing :D Sorry about the bad grammar! :D Hope you enjoy


16. Regrets, The King

For the first time in my life, I could hear music, piano music – live. It doesn’t really make any sense, I grew up here, there aren’t any musical instruments. A beautiful voice singing made me follow the sound. Sometimes it is best to stay out of other people’s business, other times you have to check. “Wrap me in a bolt of lightning; send me on my way, still smiling

I stopped outside the door. That is queen Clarisse’s room. She hates music! Why…?

I opened the door, just a little bit, to see her. She was sitting in her chair, holding tight on the handles so she didn’t fall off, her mouth was open and she was singing, in an echo. I looked at the Videre in front of her, showing a girl that stands against everything she believes in.

It took me a little while to get what was happening. They were having a link, and Clarissa was trying to take over the mind of this girl. Suddenly a chain came around her arm; I could see her eyes weren’t in this room anymore. 

I almost jumped back in here when her voice sounded, “You can’t restrain me” Clarissa never have any trouble taking over other people’s minds – why now?

“You are right, but only because you won’t be in my body for long” The unknown beautiful girly voice sounded so relaxed, like she had never heard about the horror Clarissa lays behind.

You are a fool if you think you can compete with me!”

“You are the fool” The girl answered “I know more of mind control than you ever will” Is that possible? Clarissa is one of the best Ferike lighter I have ever seen – she makes grown men fall to ground, crying.

That’s impossible. I will live forever and learn more about it than you ever will”

The chain around Clarissa’s hand disappeared, and I looked into the Videre. The girl was now holding around her own neck.

“Don’t do stupid things Maria” The girl said cold “Killing me would only provoke my dad further”

Maria? I have heard a few people calling her Maria before. Those who names must not be spoken aloud. They go by the dark lords of the underworld. Giving and taking power as they please – they were the first to talk to Clarissa weren’t they?

I have no intention of killing you like this. If you kill one innocent, you will get executed

 “You can’t use my magic. How are you going to kill anyone?”

“By making you insane” It’s often a good way to get rid of someone, but I can see there is an audience on the girl.

The girl started to laugh like a maniac.

“What is so funny?”

“The fact that you think you can make me insane” I’m sure she would have gotten tortured for that remark if she was here. No one is like that towards her.

Enough time spend in someone’s brain, makes them insane”

“No Maria. That is not how it works”

The girl was smiling brightly, even though her own hand was around her neck.

It works on my minions”

“You do something wrong then, My protector is most of the time in my brain, and he isn’t any more insane than I am”

“It doesn’t matter. You will kill someone, someone light”

The girl started to smile. “You are aware of how mind control works, right?”

What are you talking about?”

“You are trying right now to tear down my walls. My walls burns uninvited intruders. And I have heard it hurts like hell. Besides from that, if you try to kill me I will do the same to you”

I could see the hand of Clarissa raising itself from the handle on the chair slowly, before reaching her own neck. I ran to her, and tried removing it by force, but I couldn’t move it. .

That’s impossible”

“To go into another person’s brain, require you let down your own guards. Didn’t you know that? Right now I can control your arm as well, but you haven’t noticed it, have you?”

I kept trying, but it wouldn’t. It was like it was stuck.

 “And if I apply magic on my own body”

Clarissa suddenly got up in the air, having her head against the ceiling, the work of a wind lighter, no doubt, I kept jumping, trying to get her down, but I couldn’t get to her.

You are going to kill us

“I have nothing to lose right now”

Let go of my hand”

“Leave my body then. I give you ten seconds, if you don’t leave my body, both of us will die”

The magic that held them up, disappeared, now they were hanging in their own arm, killing themselves.

 “10” “9”


 “I will make you insane”


“If I destroy every wall at once”


 “GAAAAAAAH” The girl was screaming, but it wasn’t for long. Then she started to laugh.


Why didn’t it work?”

“I rebuilt my walls, 4”

The pain was incredible, you should be insane”

“3, You forget to look around you. I’m currently in the air, trying to kill myself, just to get you out of my body”

Clarissa started to laugh.

I see, you are already insane”

“2, last chance to leave”

I waited scared. “One” Clarissa fell to ground, hitting her head on the chair, and barely breathing. I had to run after supplies, and heal her wounds. When done I got her in her bed, and waited for her to wake up.


Hours went by, meetings were missed.

But she finally woke up.

“WHAT are you doing in here?” She looked angry at me, I bended my neck and looked in the ground.

“I heard music so I followed it” I told her “And I saw you fall – I have healed your wounds, my lady”

I could see her hands got more and more tight, as she made a fist. I waited with my head bended down for the hit, for the pain, but it didn’t arrive.

“Return to your post” She then said, and I left her. I met the other, asking me where I’ve been. I told them I had been on a pub, relaxing a bit. They told me I should watch out or I would get punished again.

My… My friends then joked about how I was punished last time.

“Have you heard?” One of them said “Clarissa herself was out travelling yesterday-“

Clarissa rarely leaves this world – too much to take care of. The news was weird, and people weren’t sure how to handle it.

But at last, the fear for her was so big, that no one dared questioning her. Clarissa and us – the seven army leaders – had a meeting with the dark lords after that.


“Clarissa” One of them said in hell. It seems like hell. Fire and the smell of burned flesh. The dark lords were standing in front of us, Maria was in front of us as well, we were standing as passive persons behind her.

“We heard you failed to take out the spawn of Natrona”

Clarissa looked angry. “It was never my plan to kill her, my plan was to get the kingdom to kill her”

“As the spawn of Natrona she shouldn’t be so hard to kill” Another one noticed.

“There have been rumors in the underworld that the savior of the damned has returned” The savior of the damned? I know who the damned are – The kingdom, the people, everyone else.

“Really? So you can’t keep your own people from chatting, huh?” Clarissa answered.

“That is no concern of yours, We want the Natrona spawn killed-“

“If I kill her, it would provoke her father to take immediate action against us, and we are not ready for that”

The laughed. “That is not our concern, are it? If this girl isn’t dead before you try to take over the kingdom – then you will fail, what you have built up, with fail, and your life will go to us”


The meeting was over after that. So the girl is a Natrona spawn? Aren’t all Ferikes? These things confuse me so much –

We walked behind Clarissa.

“FENWICK!” Fenwick ran from the back and up to her. “Take care of her”

“Yes, my lady”

Then he ran off. I was curious to see what he would do to her. If Clarissa can’t handle her, then what can he do?

We walked back in silence, until Clarissa went out to work and we were alone.

“It’s a little bit insane that just one girl can take all this down… don’t you think?” Vinmare said.

I stared at him and nodded.

“You know… I heard she just turned eighteen,” Cyanide said.

I tried ignoring their talk about her. If anyone hears that we are commenting, we will get punished.

“Really? So Clarissa are having trouble with an eighteen year old girl-“ Vinmare was smiling for himself “I wonder how one girl can take out an army like this one”.

Cyanide took a Videre.

“Show us the kingdom hall” he said. The picture was showing, but there weren’t anyone there.

“I guess she is in the hospital wing-“ Vinmare noticed. The picture changed, and sure enough. The girl was laying in the bed, with closed eyes and a relaxed breath.

“So Clarissa managed to take her a bit out”.

We stared at the sleeping girl, looking like almost a dead one. We could see Fenwick, entering the picture in a long cape and with a knife in his hands. He sneaked up to the bed, and jagged the knife in. Her body slowly raised itself before falling to the bed again.

Really? Was that it?

No. Fenwick turned his back, and the girl sat up. She removed the knife from her body, and her bare feet hit the floor.

“I think you forgot your knife,” She told him, making us stare at her.

“You should be dead” Fenwick turned white, and fell backwards.

“You work for Maria, don’t you?” On that note, she started to laugh out loud.

“Here, and bye bye” She threw the knife at him, but it hit the floor not so long away from him. She sat down in the bed, covering herself up with a duvet again, and got comfortable.

Fenwick got up and stood there not able to do anything.

“You should be dead”

“I’m not” she answered “And by the way – nice meeting you. I know that since you couldn’t fulfill your task, Maria will kill you, and you can’t run from her” The girl stopped smiling “Oh… what can you do?”

Fenwick who just realized it, was frozen in place.

“I know” She noticed “You can find my father, tell him who you are, what happened…. He’ll take you in”.

We stared at her for a moment. “My dad is very forgiving”

“I just jabbed a knife between his daughter’s ribs” He noticed “Nobody is so forgiving”

She got up and walked to him, she levitated and kissed him on the forehead. “My family is”

Then she crawled back to bed, and sat there.

“Are you sure Clarissa will never find me?” He asked, while looking down at the knife. She laughed.

“I can’t promise anything. But you will be more safe with my dad, than with her, or on your own”

He took another deep breath, he can’t even consider doing that! Death is better than turning sides!

“How do I find him?” Fenwick asked.

She smiled. “My protector is on his way. If I give the order to take you in, he will lead you safely home”

Home. She doesn’t call it headquarters or the camp… she calls it home. I wanted to shake my head.

“I-“ Fenwick was blank. He didn’t know what to answer.

“It’s easy enough” She said “What does your heart tell you?”

He took a deep breath “I want to turn… to your side”

“Okay” she smiled “You need to leave – some people are on their way here to give me food. Go out to the lake. The one you can see in your mind”


Adrian tells…

Somehow when I finally got to see her – her clothing was bloody, but she didn’t look like she minded it. She was hungry, so I gave her some food, and didn’t ask. Goldilocks was with me too. Somehow I wasn’t allowed in. Even when I pleaded the king with “I’m a friend of her”, he rejected me.

“What happened?” He asked concerned “You weren’t bloody last time I was here!”.

“It’s nothing” She answered “I just think I might have pissed Maria off”

Prince charming sat down on the side of her bed and started to beg her to tell him who did it, and how they got in, but she wouldn’t say a word.

“It’s nice with some company” She noticed and smiled at me. She was eating the boring food that we had brought her. I smiled for myself, knowing what was hidden on my back. 

“Good, we thought you might need some!” He said, somehow he reminds me of an overly loyal retriever.

“I haven’t got a lot of sleep though” She said “I keep waking up”

I sighed. “Is it because of the bracelet that broke? Can’t the noble fix it?”

She started to laugh for herself. “He has a name, and no. Those bracelet are really hard to make, and too be honest they need the shell of a dragon’s egg. There hasn’t been one out of their world since… Since…” He eyes starting going from side to side, like she looking through a book, then she stopped at took a deep breath. “Since The loss of the hundred and seventh war”

“Don’t think about wars” He said and I saw his hand go through her hair, I wanted to punch him, but I just walked closer to her instead.

“Do you know of this?” She placed a paper on the bed. It had the royal seal on it.

“What is it?” I asked her “Read yourself”


Dear Rachael Green

Due too certain events and time used on this marking,

The king and advisors have agreed to move your final markings day to two days from now.


The king

I wanted to punch something. “But… But they can’t just!”

“They can” She answered, she was still smiling. “I guess by ‘certain events’ they talk about Maria showing herself in front of the entire kingdom. “

I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream. I’m not ready to this.

“You are both paler than I” She started to smile “Look at the bright side. A decision will be made”

I took a deep breath. “What if you die? What if you get the sentence?”

Goldilocks looked at me. “She would get locked out of the cells before that”.

She looked strict at him, without a smile. “No I would not be”.

Goldilocks wanted to say something but her eyes made him shut up. “None of us, is repeating history” She then said “If death is my sentence, then I will take it”.

We looked shocked at her, but she wasn’t joking, she wasn’t smiling, she was dead serious.

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