Holding My Breath

This is the second movella in the series, to read the first one go to:
:D Sorry about the bad grammar! :D Hope you enjoy


20. Mother's boy

I got up, and stepped into the shower. The heat of the warm water against my skin, made me happy and relaxed. I could feel tension in my back, and I wondered if my body tried telling me something. I closed my eyes and tried.

“Are you scared?” The dark voice asked me, mockingly I could almost see her face in front of me. The diamond-killing eye.

“No” I answered and took some soap. “But I should be– shouldn’t I?”

“I have left her responsible for that… “ I looked at the true lighter, and took a deep breath. Sometimes my head is a true mess.

“So I wouldn’t feel fear?” I asked her. She nodded and I opened my eyes. I hate when they don’t include me on decisions like these.

I washed my hair and body before wrapping a towel around me, and walking the distant from the bathroom to my own room – escorted by guards. Privacy thrown right out the window. All my stuff was here, so I just began. I looked in the mirror, and tried picturing the outcome. I have never been good to this kind of thing. I wish I were – but dad often tells me I can’t be ‘an expert in everything’. I tried putting on some white eye shadow.

Turn around. Instead of turning around, I looked in the mirror, only to see a guy. His clothes were dark, dirty and torn in different pieces. He obviously came in through the window. I took a deep breath and tried finding out how far away he was. The ground below him indicated not close enough. I turned around and looked at him, he jumped forward and I hit him in the back of his head – making him collapse and lose conscious. He fell down on me – I pushed him back with all my force so he laid on my bed. I took some rope from one of his little purses and then tied him up good. I went back to the desk with the mirror and continued on my work to get beautiful.



The stranger tells…

How did she-? I was staring at her. She had gone back to do what she did when I came in. I was laying tied on her bed, not able to speak. I forgot from the last time how beautiful she is. There is something weird over her. Like she needs protections. Says the person tied up on her bed. She turned around and sat got down beside me on the bed.

“Sorry, but I want to know what you want, but if you are too loud the guards will enter” She looked at me, and I nodded. She took the cloth out from my mouth and looked confused at me.

“Who are you?”

“Does it matter?” I asked her.

She looked out the window for a while. “No – I guess it don’t.  Then let me change my question. Why are you here?” she was looking at me with those green curious eyes. She wasn’t wearing the biggest dress – she was wearing a little underdress, her hair was set to the side, and her makeup was white.

“Clarissa, are having trouble killing you, and I-“ I shouldn’t be here. I wasn’t ordered to kill her, I wasn’t ordered to do anything to her. I am sure I will be punished when I get back. I just needs to know – why she is who she is. How she can be who she is.

“Want to know….”

“Why?” she ended. I nodded and looked at her with confusion. She was looking out the window again. “I don’t know myself. I have measured our powers, and she is stronger than me. Only because she is using dark magic”.

“You outsmarted her” I noticed “How?”.

She was looking down at me. “Why do you want to know?” She got up and walked to the mirror to look at something, she did something with her make up, and then walked to the closet. She took a dress out and placed it over a chair.

“I have lived with her since I was born, and I have never seen that before”.

She stared at me for a minute, then she smiled. “Are you Maria’s son?”.

“Yes” No point in denying it.

“I see” She smiled “Then I’m sorry” She took a knife from the table, and walked to me. I closed my eyes – preparing for the worst. Until I figured out she was untying me.

“I thought-“ I began.

“Yeah you did” she answered and threw the knife on the ground “It’s just how you think. I feel bad for you”.

I stared at her, but sat up.


“You are the most evil Lighter’s true child, and nobody knows your name. You have probably lived a life, without being loved, and this makes you wonder”. She took the dress on – and then started to mess with her hair.

“I know what love is. And I get special treatment from Clarissa”.

She took a deep breath. “You may know what love is, but you still don’t get it. If you had been treated by your mom, with just a little passion, or a little smile once in a while, you would call her “Mom”, not Clarissa”.

I took my head into my hands. I pictured so many scenarios, but never this one.

“I know you’re a curious, but I don’t have time to deal with that right now. I know it’s hard for you, and I know you could need some time, with someone that doesn’t fear you, or hate you” she smiled at me “If you ever need to talk about anything just come to me when I’m not a home. Just try to hide it a bit” She had made me stand and was pushing me towards the window.

“Really?” I asked her confused. “Yes”.

I was as close to the window as I could.

“Wait a second – can you bend in your knees?” I did as she asked, and she came with a small outburst of confusion.


I turned around. “What?”.

“A thing we obvious needs to talk about” she said “In the back of your head”.

“What?” I tried touching it. There was nothing!

“You need to go right know – my marking is close” I jumped out the window and tried ignoring all the questions. She was nice to me – nicer than any of my friends has ever been.


Rachael tells…

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. DAD! HOW COULD YOU! I kicked the table, and the gourds came in. Bramai was looking at me, holding around my knee, and then the table which had moved.

“I see the nerves are finally taking over” He noticed “Relax, and don’t kick furniture”. I took a deep breath and pushed it to the back of my head.

“You look lovely” He commented “Are you ready?”

I nodded and with an escort of guards, I started walking to my final judgment.

“Are you scared?” Bramai asked me as we walked “I would be-“

“I’m not” I answered “So many other things are filling my head up, and it annoys me”.

He smiled, and lead me into the giant room. I got into the Jem and looked at the smiling king.

“You look beautiful”

I thanked with a smile. And he told me how it would go down. Apparently, due to the pressing issue of people not wanting me killed, he had decided to hold the execution in here. I had a clue from the wooden block and the guy with the axe.

“If I read the judgment out and you are guilty, you get’s killed. If you are not guilty, you will save yourself with your magic, I trust”.

I nodded. “Do you have the answer?”

“Yes” I walked out to the wooden block, and looked at my killer. My mom’s brother. How nice of him to show up.

I got down on my knees, removed my hair, so I wouldn’t have blood on that, and then I took a deep breath. The wood against my neck was scratching, irritating, and most of all  - hurt a bit. My knees already felt sore, and for some reason my eyes began tearing up.

He opened the envelop, and I heard the axe swing.

“I find Rachael Green – “

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