Holding My Breath

This is the second movella in the series, to read the first one go to:
:D Sorry about the bad grammar! :D Hope you enjoy


22. Itsy Bitsy Spider

“What do you want to do?” I asked her. He were walking, covered in capes. She was looking down in the ground, so she wasn’t recognized.

“To be honest?” she asked.

“Always”. She sighed for a second. “To ditch the party and go home”.

I took her hand and led her through the gate, and we started walking towards the house.

“You miss your family?” I guessed.

“A part of them – the part I’m happy to call family” She turned around and looked at the castle.

“The executioner was my mother’s brother” She told me. Horror filled my inner self, as I saw the raw hate in the eyes of him. He had been standing impatient with his axe, ready to kill her, the second she placed herself in front of him.

“Don’t tell your mom” She asked me, and squeezed my hand. “I don’t want her to feel worse about the trial”.  I had trouble sinking my salvia. I understood her, and nodded. She looked at me and smiled. “I have never met him before to be honest. Only seen him in my mom’s mind… and he seems so loving. That’s probably why he hates me”. She looked down again, I could feel it wasn’t relief that was on her mind. I laid my arm around her and hugged her for a second. “I know you want to think about a lot of stuff right now, but instead… then enjoy your life for now. You will be home tomorrow, after that you can be concerned”. She started walking faster.

“I can’t let it go” She told me “There is so many things in my mind right now, so much chaos, I don’t know what to do with it!”

I took her hand again and made her slow down.

“Then tell me about it – getting it out might help”.

She sighed and mumbled a no. When we came home, it was mostly hugs and ‘thank god’ that was said. Mom wanted to know how it had gone, and how the cells where. Basically she wanted to hear everything behind the trial. Rachael talked and talked, and midway through I figured out what mom was doing. “What do you want to do?”. It was almost dinnertime, so any time now; one could knock and make her sign something. “I actually want to work, if it’s alright with you” She smiled to mom. The light was coming in from the window, making it all seem so surreal. Two months ago I would never have guessed I would be here at all. Mom started to cut some carrots, and I smiled to Rachael “If you work, then I’ll help mom with Dinner. If it knocks, just answer”

She nodded and went into the living room. I hugged my mom. “Thank you”. She didn’t ask for what, she just smiled and nodded. Mom have always known what to do with other people. She has people skills that only Crish have gotten.

I started to clean the vegetables. They are all dirty – so I guess they were brought in from the garden? They wouldn’t be so dirty if they were bought. From the living room, I heard and scream and dropped the vegetables in the sink to run in – Crish, mom and I was in their, and she was sitting all red in her head when she saw us.

“What’s wrong?!” I asked her.

She looked down in the ground “Well… this is embarrassing… “ She followed something with her eyes, and Crish started to laugh.

“Are you afraid of spiders?”. She blushed even more, than she already have. Mom didn’t say anything, but went out into the kitchen again. I could barely see the spider.

“It crawled in my hair-“ She said and looked into her papers again. Crish kept laughing. “I can’t believe it!”

She looked irritated at him, before writing something down.

“Let it go” I told him “Everybody has a fear of something-“

“She doesn’t fear death, but a spider? Your priorities are wrong!” Crish noticed and sat in front of her. She smiled. “When I die, I don’t have to worry about spiders”.

Crish was still smiling, and I left them. I went into the kitchen and started cutting the vegetables up.

“I know you are a good kid” My mom suddenly said.

I turned around and looked at her, she was smiling, as she looked at me standing near the sink. “Huh?”

“Even though you sometimes do stupid things-“ She smiled.

“hey!” I was going to defend myself but a look from her, and I stopped.

“Therefor I will tell you to be careful. I know you are serious with this girl and-“ Serious? Yes I’m serious with her, I wanted her smuggled away from this!

“And you are not good with Serious” Mom padded me on the head “You tried before, and how did it go?”

I looked into the ground, as I felt the guilt hit me. Is mom agreeing with Goldilocks?

“I know how it went” Mom said “I watch out for your guys” She took my hand and smiled to me. “But now you’re not playing with just another person’s feelings. Now you are with a girl who has a small amount of time left of her life… Make it worth it” With that she let me go, and went back to the dishes. Dad entered and I got back to the vegetables. Thanks, mom. I guess you are right.

I couldn’t help but to get angry, anyway. Everyone is warning me about being with her – it’s like they all think I’m the bad guy. I sighed and gave my mom the vegetables. I could hear her working – her breaths and the pen flying over the paper as she wrote. I wonder how she was when she was a kid – and lived with her father? What about after her memory whip? Was she two different persons, or the same? I have seen the change… going from Human to lighter. She started out so sweet, confused, and… reckless. Now she is…. She is this girl who work the most of the day, hates sleep, and to be honest… is a bit more reckless. She isn’t confused more, and if she is, I don’t think she would show it to anyone.

She came out in the kitchen and yawned. “I’m tired” she noticed to me “I slept all night so---“

“That reminds me! How are the royal beds?” Dad asked “I have heard they should be wonderful”.

Rachael stood a second and thought it over.

“Actually… I prefer my own bed at home. They use fancy bed-clothing, so it’s not that comfy…”

“Fancy should be better” Dad noticed. Rachael smiled for herself and looked down. “Actually, I have found that things made with heart is better than things made for money”.

With that statement she went into the living room again – must be to work some more.

Dad was standing looking where she had been.

“She is….” With that hanging in the air, he left.


Tyler tells...


“hng…” I tried talking for the first time in a while, and Ray was sitting and playing video games. He looked up on me and smiled. “I’m glad you’re coming around again”. I sighed and turned enough around to see him. He looked like he had been beat up too – he had a blue mark over his eye.

“Do you miss it too?” He asked me “When things were simple…? When you knew lighters couldn’t be trusted?”

I couldn’t answer, I just looked up the ceiling. It has never been that black and white. The lighters have always seemed to want one thing : The death of every other race. But some help us, some take care of us. Some – as Rachael – are against the black and white look on it. Myself…. I don’t think I can look at it objectively. I have barely seen it from the lighters side, from our side they are horrible.

A shush told us something came in through the letter-open thingy. I sighed, and Ray left the controller to go check it out. He sat in front of me again, and hold the letter up.

“I guess it’s to you”.

“Op….en” I got out. He opened it up, with a claw from his right hand.

It was nicely written.

“She was marked white” Ray read out loud.

I smiled and relaxed. She is okay, she will be okay. She will be able to come home! I was laying, smiling, looking up in the half destroyed ceiling.

“I’m tired” he said and got up “I’ll go get some pizza, and see if you can eat” He walked to the kitchen and opened up. I’m not in the mood for cold pizza, but I can’t really tell him that. He is being so nice to me, and I can’t just act up as I want. The food in the castle wood make him weep. I moved my hand and tried sitting up.

“Maybe I should call a warlock over?” He asked. I was sitting on the couch, my chin still sore. I looked at him and sigh. “No…” The only healers we have are warlocks, we can’t get scanned by humans.

“I’m fine” I answered and looked at him. He took the pizza out on the plate, and walked to me. He started to cut it up.

“I wonder how Rachael feels about this…?” He said.

“Mad…” I answered him. He smiled. “I’m glad. What is she going to do?”.

“Be-at ‘em” I told him. I opened up my mouth so he could stick some pizza in. I felt worse and worse. This reminds me so much of when I first moved in….


“So…” He turned around and smiled at me for a while. “You are a youngster? What made a kid like you leave home?” He is talking to me, like I’m younger than him. He found me in an ally. He walked past it. I remember the light hurting my eyes, then he went in front of it, and was gone. He then returned, when he realized the ally wasn’t empty.

I was lying and dying. After parting ways with the lighter I had tried to get a job… but somehow the lighters control all low paid jobs and have to “give permission” to us. When I didn’t realize it, I got in a fight with one… just for a while. He beat me up, and told me that if I turned, he could kill me. So I had to take the beating, and I could barely breathe afterwards. Then… Ray saw me, and dragged me home. I slept for two days, while I was sleeping on their floor.

“The country had a problem with someone I loved” I told him “So I was hunted out…”

He looked me up and down. “What kind of problem?”

I looked in the ground, ready for the blow to kick me out. “I loved another boy”. There didn’t come a hit, or a single ‘Get out!’. After a minute, I looked up, and he padded me on my head. “Sorry to hear that, was that why you looked dead?”.

I sighed and told him about my trying to find a job.

“I heard about a school… for magical creatures… I wanted to go there, but I cost a bit, and besides that I have no place to live-“

“You can stay here, as long as you like” He smiled at me for a second “We have a spare room anyways. You would need to buy furniture yourself” with that he walked out into the kitchen. I was sitting, smiling for myself. I would never have expected that.


“I’m glad they’ll get beat up” He said and smiled. “I think she is blaming herself for this though. I would blame that lighter who told you to go to school.” Jeremy…. Jeremy. I smiled for myself for a bit. “Fine…”

“You are not fine” He said and gave me another bite “And I know you want to be with her, when she returns… but I think you should let her come here instead”. But she won’t have time for that! She will go through so much more training, and not to mention her little sister!.

“Don’t… time”

Ray smiled for a bit. “I don’t think you realize how much she loves you” He gave me another bite. “She may be that lighters girlfriend, but you are her best friend. Nothing beats that… She will come here” He said it so full of confident I almost laughed. “Wrong” I told him, and looked at the screen. I may be important to her, but her little sister, and dad is taking all her time.

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