Holding My Breath

This is the second movella in the series, to read the first one go to:
:D Sorry about the bad grammar! :D Hope you enjoy


27. Angel's Condemnnation

I got down on the bed and yawned. Sometimes I think it would be better to stay in hiding. I can’t believe he just came in here with a gun! It’s so rude ~

I laughed. Seven minutes sickness. My hands pulled the cover on me, making me yawn again.

The door opened. Just Adrian.

“You just-“ he started “Why are you saving me all the time? I’m your protector!”

I have enough of those.

“I would rather think of you as my boyfriend” I told him “I have so many protectors around me~”

I closed my eyes, and waited for him to get over here. He slowly moved toward the bed, and threw himself down in it.

“Sometimes” I heard him mumbled down into the covers. My mouth giggled, and I listen for more, but none came.

“I wont get peace for a long time” I noticed. Even now I can feel the panic in Jeremy’s mind, and I can see all of dad’s plans. My mouth sighed before I could stop it. My hands reached out for comfort from Adrian, but they stopped before even touching him. I wasn’t made to be comforted by others. My hands was above his, wanting to touch him, wanting to take his beautiful advise and run away with him.

Flesh and bone can break, but my mind must never doubt.

“Adrian” I didn’t know what to say. My head gives me two roads. One which is the forbidden one – the one that wants to leave this place, and live as a human in the human world. The other that is the right road for me to take  - the one where I do my job as Katena, and let destiny do its job, as well as I will do mine.

I want a middle road. I want a road where I can live in peace with Adrian by my side, while doing my job as well. Can I create that road? I took one hand back near me. My right was still above him, not returning. Maybe my feelings will fade. Maybe someday I will never even like him. Or the other way around. It doesn’t help asking people about such things. Jeremy was no help, and he kept Adrian out because he thought I might do something I would regret.

I smiled for myself and let my fingers go through his hard hair.

“What do you think will happen today?” I asked him.

“Well… we have to be on the castle soon, so I guess you needing to get dressed is a big priority”. He didn’t look up, and didn’t look like he was going to move. His voice was amazingly calm and tired, like he was half a sleep. I worry people, and I makes them tired.

How can I be that selfish?

My hand left his hair, and I got up from the bed.

“What if I don’t want too?” I asked him “What If I want to stay dressed like this?”.

He looked up at me, and his cheeks turned slightly red.

“You can’t, you are going to the palace… the castle”

I smiled at him “But this is so comfy-“

“Yeah but it’s not decent” he told me, he got up and took a deep breath. “Besides that… Rachael I can barely concentrate on you, when you are dressed like that-“ His eyes started at the bottom of my feet, and looked up. Somehow I felt as a prey for a while.

That’s weird.

I walked closer to him, daring him to look me in the eyes instead.

“Do I make you uneasy?”

“You make me-“ his throat made a big sinking noise, and I smiled.

“I see – fine, I’ll put on some clothing”. I walked to my suitcase and found the most normal clothing I could imagined.

I dropped the robe and put the T-shirt and the shorts on. I found my cape and laid it over my shoulders.

“Better?” I turned around to see his jaw hanging down. His eyes was shy, so I kissed him on the cheek when I passed him, heading for the door.

I found the horse I had used a few times, and waited for Adrian.

He came out a while after, closed and silent. We quickly left them for the castle.


Jaime tells…

She came in riding a white horse, I could see her from my window, looking not like princess, or a queen, but looking like she was more… calm.

I quickly got down in the throne room, where the Jem still was standing.

They got in, she was sweating a bit, her cape was still on, dragging along the walkway.

“Hello, King” She said when she entered. “Adrian said you wanted to talk with me?”

“Yes”. Dad was sitting on his throne. This time she walked passed the Jem and up near us. She was standing three steps from dad.

“I wanted to talk about an urgent matter – the dragon loose-“

She smiled “Sure, I’ll get right on it-“

She had turned around, and was beginning to walk towards the door again. Even Adrian seemed surprised.

“Would you like your knives back for the battle?” Dad asked her. She laughed. “Not now, knives won’t help me”.

“That reminds me, Adrian you are not to interfere between the dragon and Rachael, do you do that, it could mean war against the dragons”.

Adrian looked surprised but nodded, and started to run after her. The advisors who had been in the background walked forward and swarmed around dad like he was some honey for bees. Dad ignored them, and walked out the door.

Some of them cursed, some of them sighed, they all went back to the table. Dad is ignoring them, isn’t he? I heard me tell they were to no good – but they help him mostly.

I felt bad for them, but I left them to follow dad.

He was in his office – his room. I wanted to be near him, learn about his job. If I one day will have it, I will need to know how to do it.

“The dragon is so old”.

He was looking at a Videre – one of those that can follow people around. She was one a horse, Adrian was riding beside her. They weren’t talking, they kept riding at an amazing pace.

“Have you ever seen a dragon?” My dad asked me.

“Yeah” I answered him, remembering how I retrieved her birthday gift. That most count as a dragon, even if it really wasn’t, right?

“Good.” He said.

They stopped, and she jumped off the horse with elegance. You could see a dragon, it skin was shining like gold, it was laying down on the ground, it eyes was open and curious.

Rachael’s head went down and she bowed for it.

“Hello” she said “You look sick, do you need a doctor?”

I stared at her. What is she talking about?

She went near it, and it started to laugh. “What a cute little girl, grown have you? Can you even remember me?”

Rachael kept walking towards it, feelings it skin, touching its wounds.

“I left the house very few times, but remembering would hurt. I apologize, but I will do my best to not remember you” Rachael answered and walked in front of its eyes.

“What happened to you?”

“My race threw me out”. He or she answered.

“I see” Rachael sighed “I’m sorry but you know the deal, I have to kill you”. The dragon rose, showing an egg, half the size of Rachael.

“Ask your lover to take care of the egg, while we battle”.

Lover? I looked worried at dad, but he didn’t mention anything, or looked surprised. Rachael smiled.

“He aren’t my lover, but please Adrian, can’t you protect the egg for a while?” Rachael turned around and blinked at him. He walked under the dragon and took the egg. He didn’t look like he hesitated, but I would. If the dragon sat down, he would be a pancake.

“Thank you” The old dragon told her “Could you do me the favor of bringing the egg to my world? The others would never listen to me, but they might open their hearts to the beauty of the Amalion  kingdom”.

She smiled. “I’ll do my best”.


Adrian was standing with the egg in his arms, he was trying to follow them, but suddenly the dragon attacked her. She was ready, and jumped up in the air, She avoided its flames, and ran up its tail, only to cut the tip off, with her own arm.

“I have gotten old” The dragon said, and was catching its breath. Rachael was patiently standing on its back.

Suddenly it bit after her, and she jumped on its mouth again. She jacked the knife, that was her arm, through its mouth, making its head go from side to side in pain. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t make my eyes leave the image. There is cruelty in the image of a dragon being closer to be slaughtered than to be in battle,  but at the same time, my gi- Rachael, gliding up and down it, looking so patiently at it, waiting for it to try again, looked so beautiful, that the image could have been in balance. All she needed was white furry wings, and a glory. Then you could call it ‘Et nihilominus angelus ad damnationem”, which also is a beautiful painting that is painted in the human world. The Angel’s condemnation. Even though lighters don’t believe in Angel’s, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

“Do you want a more painless death?” Rachael asked it “I could suffocate your cells quickly – it would hurt less”. Some places Angels are cruel creatures, capable of feeling emotions that we cannot, making us look cold to them. There they would kill us – or that is what the legends says. I also heard of Angels, who wants so savior life, not make it disappear.

Its head moved from side to side, to answer her question with a clear no. Believing in angels is stupid, there won’t come any creatures down from heavens and help you. It kept trying to hit her, but kept getting more and more hurt itself. At last, it could barely move. It was laying on the ground, covered in its own blood.

“Dissolve my body, young Natrona-Daughter”. Rachael made a dissolving energy ball and started shooting from the bottom and up. Slowly the entire body was dissolved.

“He wanted to die, so his body couldn’t be used” She noticed, like she knew we were watching her, she looked up, and directly into my eyes. But, if there is such a creature as an Angel… I think, Rachael is one

Suddenly they moved – I don’t know how, but they moved towards some trees. When they walked between them, they disappeared only to appear in another world.

This world was dark, and from the sweat already visibly, I guess hot.


 They seemed so small suddenly, and I guess it was the dragons that made them look so small. The Videre left Adrian and her out of the picture, just for a while, so I could see it. They were up in these very dark mountains, around them, at a good but still scary distant lava and magma was flowing. You could see grass in the distant, and I wondered why they hadn’t burned it of yet. Where Adrian and her are, must be a dragon nest. There was dragon in all sizes around them, but they surrounded her and Adrian. The Videre focused on her again, and I could see she didn’t feel uncomfortable. She was smiling, looking happy.

“What do you want here?” An old voice asked, and a white dragon emerged from the rest and walked closer to her. She bowed her head in respect and then looked up at the monstrosity.

“First I want to apologies for the loss of one of your kin” She said, and looked the dragon right into the eyes.

“Is there a body?” the dragon asked. Rachael said a clear no, and then took the egg from Adrian.

“He didn’t leave a body, but he left this” Rachael smiled “You can say his last wish was to have it return to his kin”.

The dragon measured her by eye. How can she be so brave in front of this dragon? I only met one, and she just walked right into their home world.

“We don’t want this bastard staying with us” The dragon started to turn around, like it didn’t want to bother with them anymore.

Rachael’s expression changed from respectful to angry.

“Why? What did it do?” The dragon hadn’t expected any replies, so its white head turned around and looked at her once again. It measured her up and down, like it tried to see something that wasn’t visible to the clear eye.

“Its father lost all right to stay here” It answered back, and look like it was continuing to get away. She took three steps forward and grabbed a hold of the end of its tail. The surrounding dragons looked astonished, and I could imagine the things going on in their heads. If they are used to respect, this must be out of line for them.

“Don’t walk away, I’m not finished talking to you”.

The dragon looked surprised at her, but the expression quickly changed. “Puny Lighter” It said “Who are you to lecture us of prejudgment?” . Ouch, can’t help but agreeing on him there. We have a tendency of killing before asking, and it aren’t the best one. Maybe dad could try to make some contracts with other creatures, that way we wouldn’t kill ‘em, and they wouldn’t kill us, or humans. But I don’t think dad can make himself do that, and what couldn’t the kingdom think?

Rachael suddenly smiled. “Don’t look down at me. You are the one telling me a parentless child aren’t welcome in its home world”

The egg was balancing in one hand. Adrian stepped forward and took it. I guess he had a feeling she would need the other one soon too.

She let go of its tail and a grin formed her face.

“Says a lighter! All the sub races you have are-“

“Impossible to ever forgive” Rachael ended its sentence with a harsh word. She took her arms around herself and smiled. “But just because we can’t behave, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Show us how it’s done” The dragon looked like she had told him a joke.

“What child are you to say this? How dare you walk in to our world and lecture us on behavior-“

Rachael was still smiling, “I can take the form of a white dragon as well” She told him “One day along the line, I must have visited you. Probably with my dad”

The dragon somehow looked paler, and its face looked stunned.

“I think, it would be wise to treat the child with care” Rachael said and took the egg from Adrian, only to walk to the edge of the circle and putting it down.

“Wouldn’t you say the same?”

The dragon didn’t answer, but it took the tail around the child when it walked away.

“Thank you” She said as she turned around.

She took Adrian’s hand and they walked out of the world, and into a grassy one. They found their horses, and started riding back.

“And that’s how you talk to a dragon” Dad told me, and smiled “Not that you’ll ever have too… They ignore our family completely. They barely talk with the nobles as well”.

I wanted to point out the dragon that was killed recognized her, so they aren’t as ignored as normal people properly is.

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