I usually slept at midnight, but I couldn't stop thinking about what happened that afternoon. He actually cared about me and my well being. That's a nice feeling. Knowing someone actually cares about you, and not just for the things you supply them with.
I woke up as I saw ashton wrap a towel around his waist and step into the bathroom to shower. He liked showering early, but never after I woke up. I don't know why.
I got up and clutched my stomach as I stood. I sat back down and thought about what I ate in the past few days. I hadn't eaten anything since around yesterday morning, so my stomach ached for a few calories. I wasn't anorexic before I got hospitalised; but I was bulimic for some amount of time. Everything I ate while Aiden was with me was flushed down the toilet in a watery mush. Of course, Aiden never found out. I would never do that while he wasn't sleeping, or on one of his trips. And to think he died without knowing my biggest secret. I told him everything. But I guess I was scared that he would send me to the hospital again. I know he would never do that but, there was a chance.
After my long think about Aiden, Ashton stepped out of the bathroom, steam surrounding him and his wet mop of hair.
"Good morning. I see you're up early." He walked towards his bed and puller the curtain across the rail.
"Hah, yeah. It might be the caffeine from last night." I lied.
"You had coffee last night? I thought you slept before me? Well then." He swiped the curtain back and sat down, facing my bed. He stared for a while, until he tilted his head to look at me, and spoke. "Do you hate yourself?"
"I," I was shocked. The only person who's said that to me before was Aiden, when he first found out about my - problems. "What?" Obviously I was flustered. But not in that good, bubbly, cute way. I was red and I was panicking.
"Oh, I, I'm sorry. I can be subconsciously blunt sometimes. Sorry. I didn't mean it." He stood up and turned to face the blue-ish wall that separated our room from the emergency exit staircase.
"N-no, it's just, no one's asked me before so I just kind of," I took a deep breath. "Shut down for a bit." I curled the corners of my lips up for just a second, then let them rest again.
Ashton turned back to his bed and walked until his hip hit the railings. He started rubbing his left arm against the metal edge of the rail and didnt stop, even until it was almost bleeding.
"Ashton stop that." I faced him and clenched my jaw. He didn't look at me, but he turned and looked down at his arm. He continued. Still staring at his slightly swollen arm. He then jerked his arm up and blood started dripping from his arm and onto the floor. Ashton was never like this. He was so gentle and kind. I guess this was how he got rid of steam. He lifted his arm up and the drops of blood splattered onto the floor. I ran into the bathroom and got his towel. I ran back to cover his arm but he moved just before the towel touched him.
"Please." He stayed still, and I slowly wrapped his arm with the it. Before I covered the wound, I caught a glimpse of it and chewed on my bottom lip to stop myself from squealing or shrieking. The skin had been ripped off and a whole patch of it was replaced by bloody flesh. "Please don't do that anymore. It looks like it really hurts. I don't want you to be hurt, okay?" He stayed still and turned his head towards me. His eyes scanned my right arm then back onto mine. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Look, it was a few days ago and I didn't know any better, alright? Nothing was going right and nobody was there for me."
He walked away and into the bathroom with the towel still drooped on his arm. I heard running water, then Ashton hissing through his teeth.