I've made up my mind. I can’t take the hate anymore. And Harry’s been so distant. He won’t hold me anymore; he won’t kiss me as much. The tour’s over, so it’s not that. I just don’t know what my life is worth anymore. Everywhere I go, there is always hate.
Y/N’s just a beard like Eleanor.
Y/N is too ugly for Harry.
Y/N is a talentless bitch.
Why does Harry ‘love’ Y/N so much? She has nothing worth loving.
Harry loves my dead cat more than he will ever love Y/N. Just go away Y/N, Harry’s mine!
Y/N is fat.
Y/N should go kill herself.
Well maybe I should. After I finish crying, I get onto the computer and turn on live stream.
“Hey Haz, it’s me, Y/N, your girlfriend. I am sort of hoping you aren't watching this though, but it is just for you if you are. Um, hold on,” I shakily wipe my tears away, then look back into the camera.
--Before your live stream—
“Mate come on!” Liam calls, waving me over. I laugh and meet up with him.
“So, did you get it?” he asks excitedly and I pull the large diamond ring out.
“Oh yeah I did.” I show the boys the big ring as I hop into the large car, telling the driver to go to my house.
“Lemme see!” Louis takes it and observes it.
“Not big enough!” he jokes and I laugh.
“It better be! It cost a lot and Y/N said she loved it when we passed this store.”
“Hey, speaking of the beautiful Mrs. Styles, she’s doing a livestream right now!” Niall says while getting a notification on his phone.
“Maybe she’s bored.” I say, eyebrows furrowed. Y/N hardly ever uses live stream.
“Click on it Ni!” Zayn tells him and we connect it to the TV we have in the car.
“Hey Haz, it’s me, Y/N, your girlfriend. I am sort of hoping you aren't watching this though, but it is just for you if you are. Um, hold on,” she shakily wipes her tears away, then looks back into the camera.
“I know you’re busy doing whatever, and I don’t blame you for anything. You know, a letter would probably be a lot less hard to do, but that’s not a great way to say goodbye now is it?” She bites her lip and looks away, letter tears stream down her face for a minute. What does she mean goodbye?
“What’s going on?” I ask them, not understanding. But they are silent and watching as well.
“Harry I love you. I always will. I've been in love with you since I met you and I know you have too. Thank you for the 5 best years of my life, but I need to go now. I need to leave. I don’t fit in with this lifestyle, this life.” She breathes heavily. My eyes widen and I yell at the driver.
“Step on it! Hurry up!” I become nervous watching the love of my life on the screen saying this.
“Your fans, they don’t like me. They never will. And I’m okay with that now. I’m okay even with the fact that people you love have only sent me nasty comments telling me I’m not worth anything. I really am. But, I think I’m forfeiting this little competition I have with them. I don’t have any reason to stay. After all, the…” she looks at the number of people watching.
“10,332 people watching this probably want me to disappear. So that’s what I’m doing Haz. I’m just saying goodbye before I make my way out.” I widen my eyes and shakily yell again.
“Hurry up!” The boys are in shock and I can’t breathe. She looks below the screen and scoffs, reading one of the comments.
“‘Why don’t you just hurry up and get it over with already? Harry will never love you. He probably never has so bye bitch.’”
She puts her head in her arms and shakes for a second from crying. How did I not know it was THIS bad?! I live with her; I am with her every day! She seemed perfect, like she always has. I don’t care to wipe my own frustrated tears off my face and pray I won’t be too late.
“You win. To everyone who had to put up with me being with Harry, you fucking win. I’m done.” She shakes her head and cries a little more
“No no! Stay on!!” I yell at the screen. Then she logs off…
“I’m done.” I choke back tears and shake my head. What did I do to make them hate me so much?
“Boys, Eleanor, Perrie, Sophia, I love you all. You were always so supportive. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but it is.” I breathe in before continuing.
“Harry, I want you to find someone that lights up your day. I want to look down and see you always smiling. I love you so, so much.” I wave once and whisper, “Goodbye.”
I log off and ball my eyes out as I head to the bathroom. I take out all the big things of pills I mixed earlier this morning and try to rip off the lid.
“Open!” I yell, crying hard.
“Open! God dammit, why won’t you just open?!” I scream and hit it against the floor.
“OPEN! PLEASE!” I beg it, in serious amounts of pain. I almost want to just go get a knife, but I don’t want Harry to see me lifeless in that way. Pills, those are painless and you just fall asleep. That’s the way I wanna go. It wouldn't budge, so I wobble up and go to the cabinet, trying every bottle in there and they fall over, all smashing to the ground. I cry and try the large bottle again, almost getting it open.
“Y/N!!!” I scream, scrambling out of the car into the house. I hear a crash and bolt to the bathroom.
“Y/N!!!!” I yell again, frantic. I shove open the door and see a mess. She is in the corner, putting the pills in her mouth and swallowing. She releases the bottle and pulls her knees to her chest, crying.
“NOO!!” I yell and dive to her, picking her up and holding her.
“I-I’m sorry.” She whimpers, holding on to my neck weakly.
I shaker her and say, “Stay awake Y/N, stay awake!” I lift her and run to the car.
“Go to the nearest hospital now!” I demand the driver, holding her as if I were to let go she’d lose her life immediately.
“Stay awake Y/N!” I yell at her, crying. She grimaces and moves her head onto my shoulder.
“I’m so tired H-Harry” she says, her eyes falling.
The boys are yelling at the driver to speed up and I start shaking my head furiously at her.
“No you’re not. Y/N, you’re not tired, your fine! Open your eyes and look at me.” I say, touching her face. She opens her tear filled eyes and breathes slowly.
“Keep watching my eyes, don’t blink. Just keep watching me okay?”
She nods slowly.
“Mr. Styles?” I stand up when the doctor comes out.
Is she okay?” I beg.
“Sir, the amount of pills she ingested was enough to kill an elephant.” He says putting his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but we lost her.”
I look the doctor straight in the eyes and see him looking right back at me. My tears start falling for what seemed like the millionth time today. My knees buckled beneath me, hitting the ground hard.
“No” I whisper to myself. “No.”
My hand pounds on my thighs, “NO!”
I sob into my hands, and then work up the courage to stand up.
“May I go see her, Doctor?” I ask.
He nods, “Room 318.”
I muster a smile towards him and start down the left hallway.
Even though I knew she wouldn't be able to see me, I wiped my tears away and ran my hand through my head. Ever so slowly, I open the door and walk inside, not looking at her once until I got to the side of her bed. I took one glance, her skin pail white, limp, unmoving.
Tears were already streaming down my cheeks. She used to always love it when I would run my fingers around her face and trace every well defined line on her face. I sat down carefully on her bed staring at her beautiful face. I slowly lifted up my arm and moved it towards her face.
My thumb went from the side of her cheeks, down across her chin, up her other cheek and across her nose. My lips were trembling, the feeling of her skin against mine already sent shivers down my back. The back of my fore finger brushed her cheek. My eyes went to her lips, they made it look like she was smiling. That made me smile.
I caressed her hair, just above her ear and leaned down placing my lips on her forehead. My eyebrows furrowed in frustration and pain. I placed both of my hands on either side of her head, still pressing my lips on her head. My lips started quivering so I pulled away.
The doctor walked in, I knew what he was there for so I nodded, meaning just a few more seconds. I looked back to her and grabbed her one hand in both of mine. I heard the door close, the doctor had left.
“You don’t know how bad I hate you for doing this Y/N” I sniffled, “You don’t know how bad.” I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.
“I’m going to be miserable without you. If you would've told me that this was going on, then I would've stopped it. Every single one of those words they said to you is not true. They don’t see that you made me happy. They don’t understand the meaning of true love obviously. Y/N, the only time you will see me smile is when I’m thinking of you, so I’ll be smiling a whole bunch from now on. You’re the only person who made my heart race when I was with you, who made me nervous when it was my turn to talk. Y/N, you were the only person that I would die for, give my heart too, or even sacrifice myself for. Y/N, I love you so much and never forget that.”
With that, I walked out of the hospital, and out of my normal self for the rest of my life.
Comment if you would like an imagine and i will make you one!! Must be a favorite of the book though!!! Will be checking!! :D