I woke up crying my head was flooded with the pain I had gone through these past few days Louis called and texted but I always found reasons not to speak to him I made up excuses I couldn't speak to him it was like 3 in the morning I got up going to my bathroom I took a razor from my drawer and touched it to my skin considering if I should or not before I knew it I dragged it across my skin red lines appeared and then I was calm I was numb I wrapped it with bandages and put on my black cardigan and I pulled down my sleeves I put in my earphones and listened to music I haven't been sleeping well I stared at the ceiling I finally drifted off to sleep I woke up a little bit later the doorbell was ringing and it kept ringing I got up, annoyed and went downstairs I pulled open the door and J.C stood there he didn't even have to speak I was already annoyed I put a hand through my hair "what?"I asked "hello to you too" he said "can I come in?" he asked "no,what do you want?"I asked "i just heard you got back I just wanted to see you"he said leaning against the door frame "why?we're not together anymore J.C"I said "I know,your dad told me you got back and I wanted to see you"he said touching my shoulder I shook him off "well I was sleeping so bye" I said closing the door he put his foot in between me and the door "J.C I'm not playing"I said "I'm not either"he said he pushed the door open and came inside he closed it behind him and I stepped back scared "J.C what are you doing?"I asked cautiously "you might not believe it but
I still want you,I miss us"he said touching my cheek "why?all you ever did was cheat and lie you never even probably wanted to be with me"I said in his face and he slapped me I grabbed my face and looked at him with wide eyes "Oi!"I heard the door open and Louis come in J.C stepped away from me J.C looked at me"is this the fag you've been hanging out with?" he asked Louis didn't speak he tackled J.C and punched him repeatedly my eyes filled with tears as Louis threw him out my cheek stung but it didn't hurt as much as seeing Louis he closed the door and came to me hugging me I cried he held me tighter I didn't want to let him go he led me to my bedroom he laid me down on my bed he touched my wrist and I winced he looked at me and lifted my sleeve the cardigan pulled on the cuts making it sting he looked at me full of surprise but uncertain he pulled it back down careful not to touch my cuts we stayed quiet as I calmed down he traced the tattoo on my finger the heart on my index finger making my skin tingle "why?" he asked looking at my wrist I sighed "nothing" I lied "that is clearly not nothing" he said "who's Eleanor?" I asked "my ex-girlfriend" he said "why?" he asked "she texted you when we were in Paris and I didn't know what to think I thought the worst" I said he sighed "we're just friends, is that what this is about?" he asked gesturing to my wrist I scratched the back of my neck "why didn't you just ask me?" I could't bring myself to bring my thoughts to life I got so scared that he was cheating he stared at me expecting an answer I sighed looking down ashamed of myself "I don't know"I lied he pulled me close to him "just tell me when you're ready love"he said kissing my cheek "what are you even doing here?" I asked "I sort of ran out on the boys,but i'm sure they understand"he said "they're gonna kill you"I said he shrugged "it's worth it"he said smiling down at me I kissed him feeling so much better "do you wanna come back with me?we're gonna be in New York" he said I thought about it and nodded repacking my bags we left before my dad came home I left a note we boarded the plane and I held his hand as we flew to New York we got to his penthouse we threw ourselves on the couch "do you think you might get more tattoos?" he asked looking at my finger "I don't know probably" I said.