She’d been wandering around in what felt like forever, trying to figure out what to do. She didn’t know what to think or what to feel, she felt lost in herself. This “relationship” she had with him had been going on for about a year. On and off, on and off, always the same fears and kickbacks. Never would it just work out for them. And even if the odds where pretty much against anything including those two together, there was a little part of her that still hoped it would happen. Even so, she was still scared. Scared of the awkwardness, scared of all the flaws he would come to know about her, scared of loosing herself, of loosing him. All this was the reason for her never-ending questioning of whether she’d ever come to any kind of conclusion of her messed up feelings. She just didn’t know what to do. She wanted to follow her heart, to be with him in all the romantic situations she’d been imagining over the year. She could easily spend hours dreaming of how it could be. But when it came to looking him in the eyes and facing reality, she backed out. Every. Time. Of course they had spend some time together, they had even kissed once, but none of this changed how scared she was. And she was starting to believe that nothing ever could. Until that one day.
It was a perfectly normal afternoon. She was sitting with her girlfriends chatting about who knows what. And even if she was physically there, participating in the conversation, smiling and laughing, the back of her head was always filled with thoughts of him. Would he suddenly pass buy, would she be able to talk to him if he did, would he say hey, would he even notice her. They went to the same college, so the chances of them bumping into each other wasn’t that unlikely. Even so, she had the feeling that he was avoiding her, as much as she thought she was avoiding him. Locked up in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice when the girls suddenly got quiet and their faces changed. They where looking in the same direction, none of them saying a word. She opened her mouth to ask them what was going on, but before she even got to breath someone grabbed her from behind and started pulling her across the floor. She fumbled along and was about to scream something when she saw his face. He was looking straightforward with a part angry, part thrilled expression. Which part was more dominating, she couldn’t figure out. He half dragged her across the room, then made a right around the corner and then stopped. They were all alone. He let go of her arm and started talking right away.
“This is it, I’m tired of these games, Erica. You either want me, or don’t want me, and that’s it. Nothing else matters. So just give me an answer, alright!”
She stared dazzled at him and tried to swallow. He looked intensely at her and a hard knot began to tense all the muscles in her stomach. She wanted to answer him, but what could she say?
“Come on Erica, which is it?” he kept going, his voice marked by the slightest fragment of anger, “Just answer me already!” he half-yelled.
She blinked once, then started forming indistinct words with her mouth.
“I… you… I don’t… why… if… maybe…” she mumbled.
She stood there staring into the ground, about to cry, when she suddenly felt his arm around her waist. He pulled her close to his body, lifted up her head and placed a strong, passionate kiss on her lips. At first her body locked into a spasm, her eyes wide open, but as she felt his soft lips against her own she suddenly relaxed. Her eyes went shut and she pulled herself into the kiss. It was as if everything around them stopped, but her body was more alive than ever. She could feel everything more strongly. Her galloping heart restraining itself from popping out of her chest, her blood rushing through her veins, pounding in her ears, his soft lips against hers, his warm hands against her back, a tickling sense planting itself in her stomach, everything filling her body with a warmth she’d never known existed. All of her muscles loosened, leaving her body with a sense of floating. It was as if she for the first time understood what her heart had know from the moment she laid eyes on him. Her mind stopped working; no thoughts, no fear, nothing haunting her anymore. She only felt her heart. The rush of adrenaline running through her made her feel like she was going to explode. When he finally pulled away just an inch to breath, she opened her eyes looking straight into his. They had a sparkling hint, looking so alive and fulfilled. Without even thinking, the words flew out of her mouth just for her to regret them as soon as she heard herself saying them: “I love you, Danny”.
He didn’t flinch, didn’t move, no emotions ran over his face. She bit her lip but just as she was about to pull away, a glistening tear appeared in the corner of his eye and he breathed:
“And I love you, Erica”