Its been a month since Liam gave me a ride. Now that he knows who I am he gives me slight waves or a slight smile when he passes in the hall. I don’t feel as alone and loser-ish as I did before.
Yesterday I went back to the doctors, the first of my very many appointments. It had gone well, no new information though. My mom still isn’t reassuring me like she used to. It weird to me that she is giving me the total honest truth. She has changed since that last visit.
I trudged down the stairs, I was still quite sleepy and was definitely grumpy. The only thing that got me out of bed was the smell of breakfast being cooked.
I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes blindly. They were all blurry and I couldn’t see a damn thing. Finally I got them to see mostly clear, just enough so I could make things out.
“Good morning sweetheart. How’d you sleep.” My mother spoke, flipping some pancakes. Why was she making breakfast?
“Good morning,” I sat down at one of the barstools by the counter. “I slept well, though I didn’t get to sleep until late.”
“Well, you could have slept in. It is Saturday.” My mother laughed slightly.
It was Saturday, and I forgot. I love sleeping in and today I missed a morning.
“Oh.” We sat in silence for a while. My mom flipping pancakes and shifting the bacon. It was silent until I spoke. “Why are you making breakfast?”
“We have a guest dear, or are going to have a guest. She’ll be over anytime now.” My mother informed. A guest at 8 in the morning? A little early isn’t it?
“Who is she?”
“I met her at work. She came in for an appointment. When she saw my last name she asked about you. I thought you guys were friends so I invited her over, wanting to meet her.”
Everyone at the school knew my last name. I was the town freak and everyone knew me. They didn’t talk to me, but they knew who I was. If someone mentioned my name they knew exactly who the person was talking about. ‘Amber the Freak’.
Since it was a girl I was guessing it was one of the popular kids. One of the snotty rich people.
”Did he have an appointment with you?” I replied, my mood had dropped.
“Yup. She has some trouble with her parents so she came to the counseling. I’m her counselor from now on.”
My mom and I had some small talk until we heard the doorbell ring, 15 minutes later.
“That must be her. Grab it please?” my mother started rushing, trying to get the plates ready.
I sighed, getting up from my seat. I sluggishly walked to the front door. At that moment I realized what I was wearing. I was in some fuzzy rabbit pajamas with a matching tee shirt that read “You don’t notice till its gone’. I had got it at one of the races my parents went too. “it” in this case was your energy.
I didn’t have time to change so I just crossed my arms over my sagging boobs and opened the door.
It was Jane, the school’s bitch.
“Amber! I love the house!” she said, then in a hushed voice added, “didn’t think you out of all people had money.”
I looked up at her, pretending that that comment didn’t sting, but it did. Jane gave me a smile, a bitchy smile. The ones she gives when she has an attitude and is in her “cool” mode.”
Jane was supposedly the most popular girl in school. To me “cool” just meant everyone knew you. It didn’t mean you were special or anything.
“Jane, pleasure.” I said through slightly gritted teeth. I was in a bad mood now that she arrived.
“Mom, Jane’s here.” I yelled.
“Oh good! Send her in!” My mom replied.
I led Jane to the kitchen, sitting at the barstool, Jane taking the place next to me. We sat there in silence, waiting for someone to speak.
“Mom, can I talk to you?” I asked, getting off the barstool.
“Of course. We’ll be right back Jane.” My mother smiled and followed me into the living room. “Whats wrong?”
“Jane hates me and I hate her.” I said softly, crossing my arms.
My mother was clueless to everything at school.
“Why do you think..”
“Honey, she seems like a nice girl. I highly doubt that she is mean to you. I bet you just don’t want to have to have breakfast with your mom.” My mom smiled.
“Mom, you know I love you.” I wacked her arm. “But seriously, she is a bitch to me.”
My mom sighed. “I’m sorry that that happens, but can you at least get through breakfast?”
“Fine..” I sighed, hoping this would be over soon.
My mom and I walked back into the kitchen, Jane looked towards us.
“Everything okay?” she asked, giving her ‘I couldn’t care less’ smile. I seriously hate this girl.
“Fine.” My moms said, smiling and sitting back down.
We ate in silence for a while. I had to do something to get on Jane’s nerves. She was in my house and she would know how it feels to get bullied.
“So, how are your parents?” I asked, knowing that the question would hit a soft spot.
My mother glared at me, knowing what I was doing. Jane looked at me, shocked for a quick moment, but then she smiled and replied, “Fine, just fine.” She looked at her plate, I did too.
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. I had never done that to someone before and I wasn’t used to it. I also felt happy and proud of myself for doing it.
“Good. I mean, having parents that love and support you is everything.” I said, instantly feeling that guilt and pain in my chest.
“Amber!” my mother said, embarrassed that I was doing this. I didn’t care though. She would have to deal with this.
“Yeah..” Jane played with her food. “That means everything. Im so glad I have that.” She smiled weakly at me.
I smiled and looked at my mother, who was giving me the death glare. “Amber, you need to stop.” She said in a stern voice.
I laughed. “Me?” I shook my head. “Jane here needs to realize how it feels to have this happen to her everyday.” I was surprised at my confidence, but used it to my advantage. My voice got deeper, showing my anger. “She needs to realize how it feels to be bullied, made fun of, for something that I cant help.”
I looked at Jane and my mom, who were both shocked at my little fit. I turned to Jane.
“Im sorry if I’m a freak. I’m sorry you cant realize that all of the stuff that happens to me, isn’t my fault. I’m sorry that you are a selfish bitch that doesn’t have a heart!” I screamed the last sentence, getting up from my chair.
My mother yelled after me, but I ignored her. I ran up to my room and grabbed my phone. Going through the contacts I found Liam.
“Hello?” I heard his voice.
“Yes, who is this?” he asked.
“Amber.” I said, my voice sounding softer than before.
“Could you come pick me up?” I asked, my cheeks heating up.
“Yeah, of course. Is everything alright?” he asked, his tone concerned.
“I’ll tell you later. Just come now?” I asked, wanted to get away from here as fast as possible.
“Yeah, I’ll be right over.”