"Well Amber, good news is you are getting better. You dont have your outbursts as much anymore which means, hopefully, one day they will stop completely." My doctor announced, coming into the room. "Bad news is, since they still occur you will have to report to me once a month now. We've never had a case like yours, but other doctors have. I've spoken to them," her voice softened. "The outbursts never stop or slowdown. A doctor has had a patient that he's taken care of all their life. They were 68 and still had the outbursts."
'The outrbursts never stop or slowdown' rang in my ears. Why would they be slowing down for me? Why me out of 100 people? Was I a different case? Maybe I had something that the other people had.
"What does that mean?" I asked, my thoughts sticking in my head.
"To be completely honest with you, we dont know. Since we've never had a case or anything close to this, we cant tell you. It may be that you have a different case from the others. We are researching it though. Hopefully we will find out more before your 16th birthday." she smiled, trying to make it better.
Nothing could make it better though. I was different, lonely, a freak. I needed answers, other people needed answers. I wanted to share to the whole school what was wrong with me! But I couldnt, because my doctors weren't educated in me. They didnt know what the hell was going on. Neither did I!
We walked in silence to the car, my mother and I. She always accompanied on my doctors visits. It made me feel as if I had more support from her, although I already knew that she gave me all the support in the world.
"Its going to be okay." My mother said once we pulled out of the parking lot. "It will get better. They are working on it."
"I know," I sighed. "I just wish that it would get better sooner. Why do I have the case. The case that no one else has?"
I looked at my mother wanted answers. She had the strained look on her face, her thinking look. She was trying to come up with an answer that would make me feel better and some what answer my question. And this is what came out.
"I dont know."
That wasnt right. She never told me the exact truth. And even though she should, I dont want to hear anything but a lie! I know I'm different and strange and a loser! I know that, but I want to hear anything but that! Anything but no one knew about my case! Anything.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I walked into the cafeteria, holding my bag of lunch that my mom had packed. Today was a special, peanut butter sandwhich but she put fluff on. Fluff was when she felt sorry, bad, or it was a special day, and today it wasnt.
I scanned the room to find Dillan. He was sitting at the table we always sat at. It was in the corner of the far back, by the window. It was farthest away from the lunch buffet, the popular kids, and anything that we didnt like.
"Hey." I said sitting down in my usual seat.
"Hey Amber. How was the doctor's appointment?" Dillan asked me, looking me straight in the eye.
"Good," I took out my sandwhich. "Everything went well."
And Dillian knew.
"Your lying," he placed his sandwhich on the plate. "Some went wrong or something happened that you didnt like."
He had been able to do that for years. Ever since we met I wouldnt be able to tell a lie. I guess that was a good thing, because lies put up barriers. And barriers block you.
"Fine," I sighed. "My outbursts are slowing down."
"Well, thats good!"
"No, its not good. Most people, when they are diognosed with a case like mine, dont ever have their outbursts stop. They continue, for the rest of their life and never slow down."
"Well, then, why are your's?" Dillian questioned. He was just as confused as I was.
"I dont know, neither do the doctors."
Dillian gave a weak smile, showing sympathy.
We went on with lunch as usual, talking about anything that we wanted to. We did that until the yelling started. We looked over to see a group of people fighting. It was a group of boys, not in our grade, but older.
One boy caught my attention. He wore a snapback, skinny jeans, and a hoodie. Tattoos lined the skin that was visible. He was strong, his punches hurting the other guy badly.
"Who's he?" I asked pointing at the boy.
"Who the guy in the snapback?" I nodded. "Liam Payne. Senior, bad boy, has a horrible reputation." Dillian said waving him off.
I couldnt wave him off though. He would be stuck in my mind forever.