When he first kissed me, I didn’t feel it, not at all, but I have a feeling he did, like he saw it all before it happened and that’s why he hated it. I don’t think we ever really knew why, but we both hated loving each other, I didn’t realise I loved him until I hated him, I didn’t realise I needed him until he ruined me. And I think inside, that’s what ruined him.
I stand against the wall confused. “Harry I-”
“Why did you kiss me?” He asks harshly pushing me into a room.
“What? You clearly kissed me…” I say with amusement in my voice, because that’s exactly what happened, he kissed me NOT the other way around.
“I mean why’d you do that?” He asks pacing around the room before standing in front of me. He tugs a piece of hair behind my ear and closes his eyes.
“No one has ever kissed me like that.” He breaths out, emphasizing the word ‘ever’.
I stare at him confused as he walks back across the room; he turns and reads my confusion.
“I’ve been kissed like that, just not like that, it was different.” He sighs before sitting on the bed.
“I don’t know why your making such a big deal out of it? It was a kiss, a meaningless kiss I don’t understand why you are making such a big deal about it.” I say annoyed, because all it was; was a kiss, a stupid, undeniably good kiss.
“I don’t think I should see you again…” He says as he looks up at me.
“What?” I ask again in amusement over his reaction to our kiss.
“Like I think you should probably go.” He sighs, but his voice is serious.
“You’re kidding right?” I ask completely confused and slightly amused at the turn of events.
“Go.” He says, his voice stern and angry sounding.
I roll my eyes, “Don’t worry it wasn’t that special for me either.” Thankfully sarcasm takes over the hurt in voice as I storm out of the room.
“Oh baby where you going?” Zayn asks as I begin to walk down the stairs blocking me from moving. “Well you must be good if it was over that quick.” He winks and I cringe.
“Pig.” I spit and barge past him walking as fast as I can through the crowd.
“Kayla!” I yell and her eyes dart across the room, as soon as she sees me she walks over, her eyes grow wide.
“What?” I ask, I shake my head before she can say anything, “Can we just go?” She gulps and nods.
We get into my car and she turns to me, “You didn’t did you?” she asks seriously.
“Do what? Why is everyone being weird?” I shove my key into the ignition before turning toward her.
“Harry and you didn’t…” My eyes grow wide and anger replaces my shock. “I mean Louis said that he does it to everyone with the game-”
“We didn’t do anything; well he kissed me, like really kissed me, then spazed out and got mad at me…”
“Oh, thank god, wait why did he get mad?” She raises an eyebrow as I pull out off the curb.
“He kissed me, and then told me to go.” I sigh and Kayla stays quiet before I speak again. “He told me he doesn’t want to see me again, like ever I think.”
“You like him don’t you?”
“I don’t know him,” “In fact I don’t know him at all.”
“You can like someone without knowing them Stell.”
“No, not me. I’m the girl who has been in love with the same boy for my whole life, the same boy that dumped me after sleeping with one of my bestfriends the one who broke my heart and the one that I’d give anything just to talk to again, Kayla, I do not like Harry.” I feel instantly angry with myself as I finish, wishing I wasn’t reminded of Drew with every little thing, including other guys.
She sighs and leans her head against the window, “I can’t help feeling you do, even if it’s only a little bit.” I stare at her annoyed, but she’s probably right, maybe I do like him a little bit.
“Am I taking you home?” She just nods and I sigh.
I wake up as the sun heats my room and sigh as I stare up at the ceiling. I wish I didn’t feel so defeated after last night and over a stupid boy. I don’t think I’m hurt, no I’m not hurt, embarrassed and confused yes, but mostly I feel stupid for thinking anything of him, I feel stupid for caring.
I drag myself out of my room and downstairs, “Mum.” I groan and she appears from the kitchen.
“Honey, what’s the matter?” She walks over and pulls me into a hug; I sigh and hug her back before she wipes the makeup from last night under my eyes.
“Nothing, parties are stupid and so are boys.” I sigh and she laughs.
“Agreed, they both got me pregnant with you.”
“Mum.” I groan again and she laughs, “Did Kayla call?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“Shower and I’ll make some brownies; we can eat ice cream and cry watching sad movies.” My mum raises an eyebrow as she waits for my answer.
I nod with a smile and kiss her cheek and I make my way back upstairs to shower.
“He asked you out?” I laugh into the receiver as Kayla boasts.
“Yeah, after the game last night, but I didn’t take it seriously but he just called me and asked again, I don’t know why I’m freaking out, I don’t date Stella this is weird.”
“You should come over; mum and I are watching ‘The Vow’.” I pause, “With brownies and ice cream, she felt bad about last night.” I laugh as I look over at mum whose gaze is firmly focused on the T.V.
“Yeah about last night…” Kayla’s voice trails off.
“What?” I ask immediately becoming annoyed at another reminder of last night.
“Harrys saying some stuff.”
“What stuff?” I ask sitting up straight, almost scared.
“He, he kinda said you were an easy root, you are good but easy...”
I instantly feel sick for some reason, but an overwhelmingly heavy feeling of anger consumes me and I want to yell, or cry, or even slap him for lying or saying that about me, or all 3 just but I don’t even think it would make me feel slightly better.
“Stella…” Kayla says into the phone and I almost forgot she was still on the line.
“Oh yeah I’m here, I just, I didn’t sleep with him.” I confirm, so at least she knows I didn’t.
“I know, I told Louis but I’m just not sure about what everyone else believes and coming from Harry it’s more than believable apparently.”
“Thanks.” I say into the phone before ending the call, I stand up from the lounge and mum looks at me.
“Is everything okay?” She asks raising an eyebrow.
“I need to fix something.” I say and she nods simply.
I call Harry’s number but all I get is voicemail, I try again and when I’m about to hang up he answers.
“Hello?” He asks into the phone, sounding as if he has only just woken up and I can’t deny the fact he sounds extremely sexy.
“You’re a dick!” I spit into the phone as I pace back and forth in my room as I try to hold back screaming into the phone.
He chuckles, “Oh calm down it’s a good thing at least you might actually get some now.”
“You’re truly disgusting.”
“But sexy.” He adds and chuckles again, which makes my irritation grow.
“So what, you turn up an hour late to our ‘non date’ then invite your stupid friends for me to only find out you have girlfriend, then stupidly I give you another chance because you “really like me” so I go to a stupid party where YOU kissed me, then told me to leave to go and fucking tell everyone I’m easy?” I yell into the phone taking a huge breath after.
“Hold up babe, I’m single, I assure you and I’m honestly sorry for saying I really liked you, you’re just not my type and it’s low, even for me, I guess, but it wasn’t me that told everyone you’re an easy root, that would be Zayn.” Again he chuckles like it’s no big deal and I want to scream.
“He can get jealous.”
“But Louis said-”
“Louis is not always right.”
“But I have to go now love.”
“Harry don’t hang-”
And the beeping at the end of the phone call tells me he ended the call, which I expected to come out of feeling like I accomplished something, making him feel sorry or even saying it, but nothing. I lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling just as I did this morning, but feeling even more defeated now than before.