Scout was a great guy . why was he with me ? How did I get with him ? Theses are the questions I think about . I drifted off to sleep.
I look at zena and think to myself , how did I get this beautiful girl who is broken and who I love with all my heart ? She is just so perfect to me ,when she is gone away from me I feel lost but when she is with me I'm a whole . Before she came into my life I felt broken myself and confused . Leaving my parents house at sixteen was a big step for me . I didn't know were I was going ,all I knew was I had to leave .
Why did I leave ,well because all my parents did was put me down and they used to tell me I was a worthless piece of shit after they beat me . knowing I didn't deserve it I ran away ,leaving them forever and coming here . Now my wounds are healing . That is why I think me and my zena are together ,because we both have been beaten by our family members . That's why I ask how did I get with zena ,that's why I say she is so perfect to me .
Sometimes I believe God gave her to me . that's why I call her my angle . She is my dream come true . Seeing her here with me sleeping with her nose nuzzled in my chest is all I need ,Its all I want . I just want her day in and day out for the rest of my life . She is everything to me believe it or not ,I love my zena that I call angle .
We are laying there on the bed and she hugs my sides wrapping her arms around me . She had her long sleeves shirt on ,but why does she only wear long sleeves? I gabbed her arm very slowly trying not to wake her and I pulled her sleeve up . Theses scares did she do them ? Why would she do this to herself ?
Just as I wasn't paying attion I felt her wake up . She looked at me then looked at her arm and my hand on it . She started crying ,I could feel her sorrow in me . "You ...... you know" she hesitated .I started crying yes angle I know .
Why would he look at my wrist . I should go i'm going to go . Getting up scout grabbed my arm I flinched . " Where are you going"? he asked me with tears running down his face .
I stopped , "I thought you would want me to leave ,I know I'm to much to handle scout its ok I can go ." With both of us crying he said '' that's not what I want baby , I want you to say with me ". " Ok I will stay ". telling him crying . We sat there on the bed for a long time ,but then he spoak to me .
" Zena why would you do this to yourself ? Why would you want to hurt yourself "? he asked me with tears in his eyes .I hesitated before telling him . " The reason I used to do this was because ....... everyday I feel worthless . those girls made me feel worthless ,my dad made me feel worthless ; doing this made me feel like it helped but I soon began to see that it didn't help . all it did was hurt me . so when something bad happened instead of cutting I bought a little note book and wrote down my feeling . this helped me over come it believe it or not . "
After telling him this I felt happier to get it out . He just grabbed me and healed me really tight . Then he kissed my scares which made me cry even more . Scout looked at me and pulled his arm sleeve up . We matched , he went through it to I thought to myself . " We all have are little secrets angle ".He smiled and then kissed me . I have never loved him more then I do now .