Intermezzos of a Broken Mind

Me and my melancholy are back, now with a whole new collection of thoughts, feelings and too much pain. Intermezzos of a Broken Mind is, in many ways, my deepest and most personal work until this day.


8. Intermezzo Seven - Anger

I am so... So very angry! What pisses me off the most? I have no idea why... When I woke up this morning I was so filled with rage, and all day, all evening, I've been so pissed off, so furious! I want to murder someone, but I have no idea who, or even why!

And then I'm so... Miserable... I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate the layout I have of my future.. Maybe I just plain hate. Everything. Anything that I can have a relation to, or a meaning about, I hate. They should have me commited, seriously. My potential murder victim would definitely agree, if no one else would.

But I won't be commited, because I am way too good at playing the part of being okay. Because I'm fine, right?

God, I'm so tired of BEING FUCKING FINE!

Shoot me someone, please? Anything to keep me from having to say; ”I'm fine, thanks,” one more time. I swear, next time I say that, it will be the final thread that unravels the pieces left of my sanity. It will be my undoing, and even though I know that now, it will not keep me from saying it again, if anyone asks.

How are you?

I hate that question! Look, there's another thing I HATE...

Okay, I'm out of steam. I'm still hateful, I'm still furious, and I am still so very, agonizingly unhappy, but I have lost the energy to form a coherent sentence about it.


Hush hush now...

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