3. the perfect end to the perfect day
The rest of the day louis kept fallowing me begging for forgiveness, I ignored every time. It's only Been two hours but he never stops, but I think it's just because he doesn't understand. And I'm perfectly fine with that, just go and not understand somewhere else. I just don't see why he cares so much he is honestly the most loved and popular boy in school right now. I mean his whole life could be so much easier if he just let me be. He doesn't need to be a part of me and my messed up life. I can't even tell him about it, he and everyone else knows that I get bullied but they don't know what happens behind closed doors. That I'm abused or that cut my self. But I can't tell any one. None of these kids know the pain they cause, and if you told or showed them, they wouldn't care. They'd walk away with that satisfied smirk on they're faces as if they'd accomplished something with they're lives. But who cares I just need my razor. I think I've grown an unhealthy attachment to it, like a child and it's teddy but like I said I crave it. Like a smoker and cigarettes except I hurt myself on the out side instead of the inside. The bell started to to ring bringing me out of my own thoughts. I started walking to my locker with my head down , and suddenly I feel someone push me back against the wall. I look up to see louis' blue eyes starring at me filled with hurt. Don't get me wrong it hurt me too, I just can't let him see it. So I kept a straight face as I looked passed him to avoid eye contact. " can we talk" he states simply, I didn't like the sound of his voice. It was low and shaky completely opposite of his normal self. " well I don't know it depends what you want to talk about" I responded rather coldly, though I really didn't mean nor want it sound that way it just did. I hated it I sounded like a complete bitch for no reason. I sat there and waited for an answer, all though it never came. Just a horrible silence stayed through out the halls as everyone went to class, a silence wasn't prepared to break. So I just stood there, looking down at our feet. Noticing my shoes and pants were both old, and his were brand new. They could have only been bought yesterday new, I chuckled at the difference. It sounded weird and distorted, like I was about to pull out a knife and stab him to death. He fidgeted a little at the sound of it, which made me smile." Please look at me" his voice was croaky and so abnormal. I slowly lifted my head, and it was like as my head rose my smile sank. He didn't smile or make any move to look any better but just starred into my eyes. With those sad as fuck puppy eyes that killed me inside. Like some one was inside me with a knife slowly carving at my insides. But for some reason I couldn't stop it, I couldn't make the move on my own to leave, and that killed me too. Then from nowhere he started to lean it, and once again I couldn't move. But then right before he hit my lips the bell rang, how the hell did that happen? It only felt like we were there for a minute. But I didn't care I took the opportunity to push him away and run, getting lost in the crowd so he couldn't fallow and went straight to my locker.