15. no regrets
"You sure" I peeped and he nodded, leaning in slowly, I closed my eyes as he left a gentle kiss on my lips, I soon eased and kissed back. Then realizing what I was doing I pulled away and pushed him back slightly by his chest. I can't kiss him, Trisha would kill me. She said she would ruin my life, my life was already ruined but I had no doubt she could make it worse "louis....I" I trailed off again looking down, my hands still on his chest. He put a finger on the bottom of my chin and lifted my head back up to face him. "ash, you didn't do anything wrong" he said looking down at me. Before I could say anything else he leaned back down, closing the space between us, kissing me again. I pushed him back again and looked him dead in the eye " louis.... I can't " I said. I could see the hurt in his eyes, I hurt him, and this time it was my fault, no one else's MINE. I felt a pain it my stomach like someone was stabbing me, over and over and over. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until louis wiped away tear from my cheeks. " it's ok I understand" he said gently. I knew he was lying, he didn't understand. If he did he would have probably done something different than say it's ok. He wrapped me up in a big bear hug again and rubbed my back. I laid my head on his chest, taking uneven breaths as I listened to his soothing cooing. He alone could make me feel so much better, I loved that about him, he makes everything better. He rested his chin on the top of my head " you wanna go to sleep love" he mumbled over me, I sniffled and nodded. He pulled away from me and walked me to the bed, laying me down, and kissed the top of my head "good night ash" he whispered as he stood up and started to walk away."wait Lou..." I said sitting up as he reached the door " yes ash" he said turning around with concerned eyes. "Can you stay with me" I asked instantly regretting it because I was supposed to stay away. He nodded, walked over and slipped under the covers next to me. I scooted over to him and nuzzled into his chest, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Night ash, I love you" he said reaching over and turning off the bed side lamp. I paused a moment but then mumbled into his chest " I love you too" and all regret was lost.