Hello!!!! This is the second chapter. For part of it is still based off Mockingjay at this point, such as Peeta planting the bushes. I hope its okay. Please like and comment! I really appreciate it! The next chapter is going to be where I give you my thoughts on what went on during the time when Katniss and Peeta regain their relationship through real or not real and what goes on with thirteen and suvivors in the capitol and what not.
I had to hold myself back when I saw Peeta. I knew he wouldn't react kindly to a hug or a kiss, but it was all I wanted to give him.
"Yeah..." He said. He looked healthy again, that made me feel good, almost happy. He ran his hand over his sandy hair and looked around.
"I am glad." I said honestly.
"Yeah..." He looked from me and then to the ground a couple of times, as if unsure what to say. "Uhm, Katniss... What are you doing behind my house?"
"Oh...Uh, I had a nightmare. I like to come outside and try to relax." I shrugged, tugging at my braid.
"Oh..." He said. "I'm going to go back inside." Then he left me there standing alone. I ran back home and locked the door behind me. My heart seemed to be breaking all over again. I didn't know what I expected, but I wanted more. I wanted him to hug me, to hold me and apologize. But instead, he just walked away.
In the morning I was too afraid to go outside, what if I had been dreaming the entire time? What if he wasn't back? I crept downstairs, still in my pjs and walked into the front room. I pushed aside the curtains and took a peek outside. Once again, my breath caught in my throat and I started to shake.
"It wasn't a dream." I muttered to myself. Peeta was outside his house planting bushes around his front windows. Though his back was turned I could imagine the look of concentration on his face.
"No, it wasn't."
I spun around and pressed myself against the wall. My heart was pounding, but I soon realized I had nothing to be afraid of.
"What the hell Haymitch? How did you get in here?" I asked loudly.
"The door was unlocked." He smiled.
"No it wasn't."
"Oh, maybe you should check that out." He laughed and stood up. "So the doctor called me this morning."
"Peeta is doing a lot better but he's still struggling. So I think it is best that you stay away from him."
"What?!" I said. "Who said you could make that decision? Peeta needs me!" I stormed forward, getting into his face.
"You remind Peeta of some of the worst things in his life, as well as the best. The conflicting memories could be too much for him."
"Get out Haymitch." I say opening the front door.
"Make me." He says taking a huge gulp from a canteen. I ball my hands into fists and stomp over to the coffee table. I pick up a decorative vase and throw it. Haymitch ducks and stands.
"Watch your temper sweetheart. Looks like you've still got some flame." He laughed loudly. He was drunk off his ass, but that was no excuse. I picked something else up and threw it in his direction.
"Go!" I pointed to the door.
"Alright, alright." He walked slowly to the door and continued laughing. He stumbled as he stepped outside.
"Look everyone, the girl on FIRE!" I had had enough of him for today. I grabbed several small things and threw them all at Haymitch, once he was gone I slammed the door shut and threw things at the wall.
I crumbled to the ground and just stared at my now ruined living room. I didn't have the energy to care at the moment, but I knew I was going to be angrier in an hour or so.
"Katniss." Peeta's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. "Katniss, are you okay?"
"Just go Peeta, it isn't a good time."
"Katniss... Let me in." I sighed and stood up, carefully walking around all the broken glass.
"Can I come in." I looked over my shoulder and closed the door behind me. "Not right now, I need to do some tidying up."
"Oh... okay." He looked away. His blue eyes sparkled, and I felt my heart melting. "How are you?" He asked slowly, as if unsure of himself. I smiled weakly, and crossed my arms.
"I'm fine. It's been quiet here."
"Are you sure?" He asked, his eyes looking deep into mine.
"Yeah." I looked and around and trying to find some way to change the subject. I noticed that the ground had been dug around our houses and bushes had been put in. "Gardening?"
"Oh, that..." He smiled. "I thought we would put them there for her, for Prim."
I inhaled sharply and almost shouted aloud. Rose bushes, he had planted rose bushes in memory of Prim.
"How thoughtful..." I whispered. I looked down and muttered some excuse for leaving. Stepping inside, I fumbled to lock the door behind me and made a move to run into my room.
I tripped and fell right onto glass. My hands took most of the damage, but I could feel small shards in my legs and arms. I pulled those out gently, the wounds weren't bad. I tried to pull out the shards lodged in my hands, but it was too painful. I ran water over them and tried again, but I made no progress. I walked back to the front door and opened it carefully. Pain surged through my entire arm as I tried to turn the knob. I bit my cheek and forced myself to do it.
I walked to Haymitch's and kicked his door. There was no reply. I kicked the door several more times and yelled his name.
"Come on, open up!" But there was still no answer; he must have fallen asleep. Passed out across the bathroom floor, a bottle still in his hand. I turned around and saw Peeta watching silently.
"Can... can you help me?" I asked ashamed. I stepped forward and extended my hands to him.
"Katniss, what happened?" He asked.
"God Katniss." He muttered and dragged me inside his house.
Inside he sat me on the couch and looked my hands over. Then he went into the kitchen to grab a bowl of water and a couple of towels and bandages. He returned setting the items on the coffee table. He sat at my feet and held out his hands. I extended my arms and placed my hands palm up in my lap. Peeta winced at the sight.
"Why do you do these things to yourself, Katniss?" I met his blue eyes. There always seemed to be something more beneath them.
"I don't do it to myself. It just happens." I shrugged. "But thank you for doing this." I wasn't sure what else to say to him, but I had to say something.
"You're welcome. I am almost finished. Just be more careful." Peeta said without looking up. I sighed.
We sat in silence as Peeta finished wrapping my wounds. I watched as he worked, and wished I could stroke his cheek, look him in the eye and tell him how I felt, and that I was sorry; but I was afraid. The Girl on Fire... the Mockingjay who led the rebellion, was afraid to tell a boy how she felt about him. I bit my lip and looked out the window.
"There, all finished." Peeta said. He stood up and walked back into the kitchen to empty to now blood stained bowl.
"Yeah," He said from the other room. "If you need anything just let me know."
I pushed myself off the couch and walked to the front door. I hesitated, wondering if I should help him or wait for him to return; but then through the window I saw Haymitch peering through his own.
'I think it's best that you stay away from him..' His voice rang in my ears as if he was right behind me. I opened the door and ran back to my house, glaring in Haymitch's direction as I did. I locked the front door of my house and looked around.
"Might as well clean this up now." I muttered and began to search for my cleaning supplies.
Weeks started to pass, and the mood seemed lighter in the Victors Village with Peeta home. Every morning I would walk to my window and watch Peeta as he tended to the bushes he had planted, and then back into his house to do who knows what. Occasionally, Haymitch would join him. Envy burned inside me every time I saw the two of them together. It wasn't fair that I had to be alone after everything.
"This is bullshit." I shouted one day as I walked through the house trying to find something to do. I hadn't left, in fear of doing something to upset Peeta, I wasn't sure what 'better' really meant. Was he still going to have psychotic tendencies and attempt to kill me? I shook my head and decided that it wasn't possible, the doctor wouldn't have released him.
Why was it then, that I wasn't allowed to be around Peeta? Cooped up inside my house all day everyday was doing me no good, eventually I would be the crazy one. No one had said I had to stay inside; I had been the one who made that decision. I walked into my room and threw on my usual clothes. Though I had many nice clothes, I preferred my dad's leather jacket, a thsirt, jeans and boots. It was what I felt most comfortable in. After I was prepared, I left and made my way into town. Many residents had returned and were working to make amends in Twelve.
"Katniss, hey do you have a minute?" It was Peeta's voice. I froze and cringed a moment. "Katniss..." He repeated slowly.
"Uh, I have to get going. I'm running errands today." I said not turning around.
"Oh, when will you be back?" He asked, I could hear the uncertainty in his voice. I looked around, hoping that Haymitch wouldn't see. I didn't want to hear from him about this.
"I'm not sure. Before sun down would be my best guess." I shrugged.
"When you get back I would like to talk to you. I could make dinner or something." He ran fingers through his hair and shrugged.
"Alright... Just, don't tell Haymitch." I sighed.
"I'll explain later." I said. "I have to go now though, sorry."
"O-okay, see you soon." He hollered after me. I waved awkwardly and ran through the gates.