Okay lovelies, this is where things start to become more of my idea... I hope you enjoy it. Comment and like. JB fans should check out my lovely friend jbforever, shes got two stories up about Justin. They are adorable!
When I returned I saw Peeta sitting on his porch, waiting. He stood up when he saw me and wrung his hands a couple of times, why was he nervous? I bit my lip as I got a better look at him in attempt to bite back feelings, he was wearing a white button up shirt and faded jeans. His hair had gotten long, falling into his eyes. I forced myself to look away from him.
"Where did you go?" He asked, opening the door to his house for me. I stepped in hesitantly, as if something bad were going to happen next. I felt so unsure of myself now a days, especially around Peeta. With him back everything seemed to lighten up, not just for me but for everyone. Haymitch had emerged from his 'den' and appeared to be drinking less. He helped Peeta finish planting the rose bushes; and I was hiding inside peering through the window just watching, silently sitting and not participating in the world around me. I was just like my mother had been, and I felt awful.
"Katniss?" Peeta asked waving a hand in front of me, he had a small smirk on his face.
"Huh?" I said blinking a few times.
"I lost you there for a second," He laughed. "I asked you where you went this morning."
Words caught in my throat; he sounded so Peeta like. It was silly to think that he wasn't Peeta, when he clearly was. He had just been... ill before.
"Oh, I went around into town and started to help out. You know, put things back together. It's still a mess but people are helpful." As I spoke the smell of fresh bread filled my nostrels, I inhaled deeply and felt my mouth begin to water, dinner. "Smells wonderful." I added, Peeta only nodded in reply.
"Haymitch is okay with that?" Peeta asked after a moment.
"Why would Haymitch care?" I answered his question with a question. He shrugged and walked into the kitchen.
"I just figured the girl who shot Coin wouldn't be welcome out in public anytime soon. Do you want something to drink?" He asked raising his voice as he walked further and further.
"Ouch. Low blow." I muttered under my breath. "No I would not. You do know that what I did was in the best interest for the people, she was the true enemy, next to Snow of course."
"Sure, I know that. But what about everyone else?"
"I think they understand now, they know that she was corrupt. I mean someone did leak about the Games she wanted to put on."
"That was in the best interest of the people as well. Besides I had to tell the doctor everything if I ever expected to get better, he was the one who blabbed. But remember you voted yes to the games."
"That was before Prim..." I said defensively. "Her plan of action would have lead us to the same predicament we were already in. Maybe not now or in ten years, but eventually. I couldn't stand by knowing I had the power to change things."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to push; your decision was for the best. We are all free now." Peeta said. "Dinner should be almost done," he muttered as he walked back into the kitchen.
Why had he invited me to dinner? I didn't understand why he wanted to sit here and badger me about the decisions I made; I did that enough myself. The air in the room seemed tense and I wasn't sure I could handle that at the moment, not with Peeta. I stepped into the archway of the kitchen and leaned against the frame.
"Need any help?" I asked; I needed a distraction from our conversation.
"Yeah, would you set the table." He said not looking up from his masterpiece. I nodded dumbly and stepped forward.
We sat for dinner shortly after that at the small kitchen table rather than in the dining room. Peeta brought a basket of hot bread, and a pot of what smelled like soup. It smelled absolutely divine. He poured a glass of water into his own cup and offered me some. I declined. We ate in silence together for awhile, but I couldn't restrain myself any longer.
"Peeta, why did you invite me over?" I said setting my spoon down hard. He looked up and gently placed his spoon in his bowl.
"For dinner?" He replied slowly.
"No I mean other than that. There has to be a reason. Haymitch told me I wasn't allowed to see you, or be near you for that matter. Why do you want me here eating dinner with you?"
"Haymitch said that?" He leaned back in his seat then forward again, pushing his bowl away from me.
"Yes. But that's not what I am worried about right now I just want to know why you wanted to see me. What do you have to say?"
"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the things I said and did when we were in thirteen."
Immediately my anger dissipated, my mouth was hanging open in a loss for words. I closed it quickly and looked away from him. I stuttered to find the words again.
"It wasn't your fault. I mean, the Capital really messed you up." I shrugged as if it were nothing.
"No, its more than that I hurt you. I couldn't control myself. I was so angry. I really believed that you were the enemy. I still don't really know what is real..."
"Yeah." Then I was reminded of our game; we played it to help him sort the facts from the crap the Capital had fed him. It seemed like it would help him figure things out, slowly. He struggled while I was still on thirteen, but I saw improvement.
"Katniss?" He asked his warm hand on my arm, I jerked away surprised and looked at him. His eyes were full of sadness, and something else... longing? No, that wasn't it. "Y-you had that far off look in your eyes again. What are you thinking?"
"Real or not real, I killed coin?" I swallowed as I spoke. I hated thinking about it. It was the reason I was stuck in twelve, rather than out helping the districts build up from the bottom. I wanted to fix what the Capital had destroyed, what I had destroyed. I had my reasons for killing Coin, and they were the right reasons. Coin was just like Snow... evil.
"Real..." Peeta hesitated his eyes searching hers.
"Correct. Do you understand why?"
"I think so..." He said slowly.
"Real or not real, you were conspiring against me?" Peeta asked. I sat there puzzled for a moment.
"Not real. What the hell Peeta?" I asked.
"It was one of the things the people in the Capital told me. Snow said that you were working against us that you were trying to bring me, and the Capital down into destruction. I know that it's not true... at least I think so. It just gets so hard to discern between what is true and what was fabricated by Snow."
"But that helps me understand. I want to know the truth; deep down I think I know what is true but it is all clouded by lies." He took my hands, I looked away from his gaze. "I want you to help me understand. I need you to help me. So, let's play a game Katniss."
"Haymitch said I can't. He said it was better for you if I stayed away because I am hurtful."
"Screw what Haymitch says; he's a drunk." Peeta smiled. He stood and took my face in his hands. He was the one who was broken and hurt inside; I should be the one in his place. What was wrong with me?
"Okay." I said. I stood and brushed myself off. Peeta watched me closely and smiled.
"Thank you." He pulled me into a warm embrace. I held my breath and wrapped my arms around him. This was so familiar, so normal. He smelled the same, and it made my heart ache. He pulled away, his hands on my arms. He kissed me gently on the forehead.
"I better go." I said quickly. I ran to the door. "Thank you for dinner." I said as I flew from his porch. Rather than go home I went for a long walk.
Real or not real? I thought to myself. My mind was spinning and so were my emotions. If Haymitch caught me I wouldn't hear the end of it, but Peeta seemed intent on seeing me. I walked until I found the familiar place by the lake. It was where Gale and I used to sit together.
"May the odds be ever in your favor." I muttered to myself. It used to be a joke, but now it was just a memory from a terrible nightmare. I wished I could talk to Gale one last time; but at the same time, I hated his guts.
What was I going to do?