I don't own any of these characters. I just really really loved the Hunger Games trilogy, it was so moving. So I thought I would take a shot at a fanfic of it. I plan to refer to the books as much as I can, so I can be sure to be as accurate as possible... But don't hold me to that, I am only human. I hope I don't ruin any of the characters for you guys. This first chapter is a spin from what happened when Katniss and Haymitch returned to twelve. Enjoy and tell me what you think, I would appreciate it.
For awhile after everything was over, it was just Haymitch and I in the victors homes. For awhile he stayed in my home, sleeping in the guest room. It was quiet around, more than usual. There was no Prim, no mom, no Peeta. I missed them all dearly. I knew Prim was gone, but I swore, I could see her everywhere. As much as I tried to convince myself that Gale hadn't been the reason for my sister's death, I blamed him. Some part of me knew it was because of him that she was gone. My mom was back on her feet, and I was proud of her. For so long she had been locked inside a shell. Before I had been angry with her, but now I understood. God only knew where Peeta was.
Peeta... I had fought so hard to keep him safe. First the berries, and then again in the 75th game. I had failed him. The capitol had taken him and used him against me and the rebels, torturing him and turning him into a monster. No not a monster, he was just broken. No matter what I did, I couldn't forget them. When I thought of him I thought of how he tried to strangle me when he first saw me. The look in his eyes... It was all my fault.
"Maybe a drink would help." Haymitch would say as he sat at the foot of my bed. He would come rushing in when I screamed, haunted by memories and nightmares from the games and the rebellion. He'd take a swig from a bottle and offer me some. Most often, I denied, but on the most painful nights, I accepted.
After a few drinks, enough to lose count, I would began to cry and scream at Haymitch. Usually, this would turn into an all out screaming match. But if Haymitch was having a good day, he'd scoot closer and take my hand and say something kind.
"It's over now Sweetheart." He'd coo like a mother. "You did it. Prim is still with you, inside. She died for the cause, I know that sounds like bullshit, but no one will forget how much she did. Prim was amazing." He had only met her on a couple of occasions, but it was enough to see her smooth, calm demeanor in medical situations. "Peeta is safe now, he is alive. He doesn't hate you, no one does. He is just confused right now. Katniss, you know the capitol played games with his head. Now get some rest. You did everything you could and we won. It will get better." He would tuck me in and leave the door open just a crack. I felt like a child again.
Though Haymitch was helpful, there were times that I needed more than what he could offer. There were times when I would wake up and call for Peeta, over and over again. All Haymitch could do was stand outside my room and cry. He didn't know I knew, but I did.
We were all messed up, the games had taken their toll. Then there was the rebellion, so much corruption. The thoughts made me shutter.
Eventually Haymitch gave up on me, I think. He moved back into his own house and locked himself inside. He was probably drinking away his problems, part of me envied him. But now I was alone. Alone through the nightmares and the memories, and worst of all alone with my mind.
"No!" I woke with a start. I was covered in sweat. I peeled the sheets off of me and stood. I tried to splash water on my face, but it did no good. With sudden urgency I ran outside and didn't stop until I was behind all the victors homes. The cool ground beneath my feet, I stood frimly with my arms at my sides and my hands balled into fists.
"I'm your girl on fire?" I screamed to no one. "Some girl. Look at me now, I'm nothing!" I stomped my feet on the ground and lashed out at the air. "Mockingjay! I was a spark of hope, and look where that got us! Hundreds died, the government in ruins. And what about me! Alone and broken!" I screamed and cried, falling to my knees. I thought of the past few years. First my dad then Rue and the countless others after that, Prim among them.
"I wish I would have died." I whispered into the ground. I pulled at the grass and threw it as far as I could. I sat sobbing for what seemed like hours. A cool breeze picked up, the trees whispering its song. It was comforting, but not comforting enough.
A warm hand touched my shoulder lightly. I spun around backing away and grabbed my knife I kept in my pant pocket. Almost immediately, I dropped it. My entire body began to shake. I couldn't believe my eyes. Even in the dark I knew who was standing before me.
"You're back... You're here." I muttered. Tears coming to my eyes.