8. shower confessions
~~I gaze in awe as he leans his back against the wall. He doesn’t try to look or sound seductive when he focusses on something but it happens anyways. His gorgeous blue eyes throb with excitement and adventure. We’ve been friends now, for a while, and whenever we meet a feeling ache’s inside me. Maybe it’s a craving, a thirst, a passion. He looks longingly out the window at the small snowflakes that dance down onto the window pane. His beautiful blue eyes bounce down onto my face and my heart beat increases.
I wonder all the time, I wonder if he feels the same way about me, or if he even notices me flirting with him all the time. We sit in a silence, neither awkward nor strange. A more comfortable silence, alone on my bed. This second would be the perfect time to tell him about my feelings I’m sick of hiding. His eyes follow mine as I shuffle into an upright position, next to him. Our hands almost touching, inches away from each other I speak. “This is crazy…” I whisper as I shake my head at him. The corners of his mouth tug upwards into a seductive smirk. I look for sarcasm in his expression but fail to find any, just his usual laid back, carefree attitude.
“What’s crazy?” he asks slightly raising his left eyebrow. My eyes hover over his hand that’s gradually moving closer towards mine. “This” I say gesturing towards us. He shrugs “What’s wrong with it?” he teases. As heard as it is to contain my feelings, I start to feel them heat up.
Great now I’m going red.
“Well… if I told you, it would ruin our friend-ship” I meaningfully express through knitted eyebrows. He leans back on the bed “Try me” the words flow out almost with not even any care. Maybe this was the wrong idea. “Ever since we met” I hesitate “For all these years, I’ve had a massive crush on you” I say over exaggerating the ‘massive’ in the sentence. He jolts up; I don’t know if its form surprise or shock but it got his attention. My cheeks burn with embarrassment, as he stares hungrily into my eyes. It scares me but intrigues me highly. “Emily…” he manages to speak, he sounds almost afraid to talk to me. I frown; this isn’t the Niall I know. “I… I’ve felt the same way” he explains rubbing the back of his neck. My heart drops, the guys I love… loves me back? The sentence replays in my head for what feels like an eternity until I’m brought but by his sumptuous lips smashing on mine. I don’t know how to feel… shocked or turned on.
I kiss back and suddenly the craving feeling leaves my body. Is this what I was craving? His lips on mine? It must be. They fit so right, as they mould perfectly into mine. I feel his hands explore my waist as they move up and down. It feels like we’ve kissed a thousand times… although we’ve never been further than hugging. His striking blue eyes land on mine as he releases from the startling kiss. I breathe heavily as we stare into each other eyes. “What happens now” I ask still breathless from the kiss. “Emily… I love you so much” he manages to say through his embarrassment. It shows through his pursed lips and his nervous thumb twiddling. “I just didn’t know when I was meant to say it” I look at him in pain. I can’t believe we’ve been hiding our feelings for each other for so long. “You didn’t have to tell me you loved me” I say shaking my head tilting my head towards the ground. “Because, I already knew” I say lovingly distracted by his expression. I was still hungry for more.
“The way you looked at me, you don’t have to hide it anymore” I say staring into the distant. He makes circles on the ground with his foot. “Come here” he says before our lips connect again. And then the craving feeling disappears again.
I wake up finding Niall sitting exactly how he was in the dream. Frowning I turn over to stare at the blank wall trying to feel some distance or some comfort but the dream irritates me. "Are you okay?" he asks rubbing my back. I jump as he speaks in the huskiest voice possible. Brushing his hand off I sit up facing him "Niall, is something wrong with me?" I ask looking up at him, he sighs. "uh... Come on you have to have your shower" he says changing the subject which pisses me off but I get up anyways.
He turns the knob 'hot' on the shower and hovers his hand under the water to test it before I step in. Even though we've basically forgiven each other I can't help but feel the rejection still right at the back of my mind. I push away the thought and slip off my clothing watching him carefully in case he decides to turn around. "Alright, WHOA" he turns around covering his eyes and facing the wall. I rub his back as I pass him "I need supervision, don't I?" I ask feeling the water rinse down my body as I step inside the shower. "Uh, yeah I guess" he says shrugging awkwardly. It makes me laugh, although I should be very protective over my body. It just doesn't bother me when people see it. I guess I'm confident about my body appearance. "Well? are you hopping in or not?" I ask washing the water over my face. He snorts nervously "I think I'll stay here" he laughs to himself. I frown "Niall, come in the shower" I basically beg. He still hesitates as he stands slouched shoulders and forehead against the wall. I shake my head and continue massaging the shampoo through my hair. I watch as the suds hit the shower fall as I rinse my head under water and then I feel something brush up against me. almost like an arm. I instantly open my eyes to find him standing close to me edging to get in the water. I giggle, deciding to let him. "So" he says rinsing his hair "Who are you Ariana Grande?" he confidently asks. It's weird, I'm familiar with that sentence. But at this moment I don't know if it's a bad or a good thing. "Well, at this point in time.... I don't know" my answer makes him stop rinsing his hair and stare at me with utmost confusion. "What's your heart telling you?" he says brushing pointing to my chest. I frown "A singer and an actress trying to... find something to love" I say letting the words pour out of my mouth. It felt so good to share my feelings with Niall because he always listened and most important replied. "Or someone" I shrug telling him the truth. He looked upset, I wouldn't have known why if he hadn't connected his lips with mine. A rush of pleasure hit me and I watched as his light baby blue eyes turned darker than midnight sky. What happened next you ask? all I can tell is that I was totally ready for it.