Oh ma god:3 Thank you so much for the reads, likes, favs and comments!!!! It seriously means the world to me:) I hope you like this chapter, and yeaaaah.xxx
I was currently sitting down, leaning against the bathroom wall with my bloody arm draped to the side. I had makeup trailing down my face, my hair was a huge knot, my ponytail basically out. Blood was all over the floor and walls from me being in a horrible state. It's been about an hour and i've been ignoring all the calls from the boys. I don't even remember half the things that happened.
I stared straight ahead with no emotion. just silent tears streaming down my face. "I can't believe I did this to myself over a guy. I always told myself I would never do this. Not for anything. Especially a boy. I was fucking wrong. I'm not as strong as everyone tells me. I'm weak and barley alive."
As I thought that, I let out a choke and a sob. I looked at my arm and saw fresh and swollen gashes and I scoffed. "I'm a fucking wimp." I cursed and pushed myself up uneasily. and tripped towards the towel dispenser. I reached for some paper towel and winced when I pressed it against my cuts.
I ran water underneath my makeshift cloth and tenderly rubbed my arm. I gritted my teeth at the pain then shoved my arm, under the scalding water. I let out a screech and started crying again.
"I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!" I screamed as loud as I could, my voice breaking in the end and I let out a hiccup, then pulled my arm from under the water. I scrambled to a shard of glass a few feet away and pulled it across my arm multiple times drawing a large amout of blood.
I whipped around and blood sprayed the walls and dripped onto my body and floor. I groaned and started feeling light-headed. I fell to the floor and then slowly pulled myself to the door. I weakly reached up and locked the door. I laid on the ground and drifted to sleep. Or maybe I passed out..
My eyes shot open at my ringtone waking me up. The more missed calls I get, the louder my ringtone goes. Weird stuff.
I groaned and looked at my surroundings. The same old bathroom. Blood everywhere, shattered mirror and me. I grabbed my phone from beside me and looked at my missed calls.
257 missed calls
That's alot. I sat up slowly, trying to ignore my light headness. I looked down at me and saw blood. Crap. I sighed and stood up with shakey legs. I unlocked the door and peered out. It was the middle of the night. I let out a sigh of relief and walked outside. I saw a bag of womans clothes at a share shed. I picked out sweatpants and I longsleeve and hoodie. I used my phone as a flashlight and slowly changed. I looked at my arm and closed my eyes. Deep cuts.
I ripped apart an old shirt and used it as a bandage. I ditched my clothes and walked to the subway. I jumped on the one to the arena and once I got off, I saw the tourbuses. I smiled to myself in relief and aproached the bus. I opened the door silently, hoping not to disturb anyone. I peered in and saw the boys sleeping on the couches and chairs with their phones in their hands and laps. I pursed my lips and sneaked past them. I slid on pajamas and threw away these clothes that smelled like shit. I curled into my bed and fell asleep from tiredness. I'll look at them cuts later.
I woke up and crawled out of bed. I walked out then I heard gasps. "JENNY!" Niall yelled in happiness and pulled me into a hug. "Hey Niall." I said and patted his back gentley.
"We were worried out of our minds!" Zayn said and gave me a polite hug and small smile.
"We actually almost cancelled the show, but Simon wouldn't let us." Harry informed me with a shrug then gave me a tight bear hug.
"No. Never cancel." said in a straight tone back. I have very strong feelings about them cancelling shows. Girls, a.k.a. fans, wait for days outside and spend all their money on these 5 singing idiots who can't dance.
"I seriously was almost crying." Louis said from the couch with a nervous chuckle and a brotherly look.
"Oh my! I feel so special." I smiled sarcastically and turned my nose up to him and he let out a chuckle.
"Where were you." Liam demanded with his fists clenched at his sides.
"Ah, doing stuff." I replied crossing my arms, trying not to wince when I pushed my bad arm to my chest.
"What happened back there." He asked giving me a hard stare. refering to when I broke down in front of his lady.
"I was feeling extremley sick." I shot back sucking my lips in in annoyanc and anger.
"Thats bullshit." He spat back crossing his arms now, trying to keep calm. Okay now i'm pissed off. Sure i'm lying but, he doesn't need to be an ass.
"Hey Liam, We don't know her that well yet to jump to conclusions!" Zayn put in, stepping between us. Praise Zayn Malik for that. "Just believe her." He added sitting him down gentley.
"Okay." He sighed heavily, calming down and didn't look at me. Not even an apology. Wow. Whatever. Not like he knows i'm in love with him. Or that he's causing me to self harm. I'm supposed to be a strong and independent woman that doesn't need a guy. Fuck.
"Does my mom know?" I asked quietly, fidling with my fingers awkwardly after a long pause.
"No we didn't tell her." Harry replied giving me a comforting glance.
'Good." I sighed and turned on my heel and walked away, locking myself into the bathroom. The bus started and started driving. I lurched forward when it went into a sudden movement and banged my wounded arm against the sink.
"FUCK!" I yelled and kicked the vanity angrily, then heard a pair of footsteps sproach the door.
"Hey you okay?" A familiar irish accent asked through the door in a worried tone.
"Yeah. just stubbed my toe." I groumbled back, biting my lip, hoping he would believe me.
'Okay.. Be more careful in there Jen." He chuckled then padded away. I sighed and leaned against the wall, unwrapping my arm. I pulled peroxide out of the medical bin and poured it over. I gritted my teeth and repeditaly stomped my foot against the floor. A tear escaped my eyes that were squeezed shut and dropped on the floor. I put healing cream over my slit arm, then re-wrapped it with proper gauze. I slid my '10 TREES' hoddie on and stepped out, pulling my sleeves over my fingers, curning the fabric into my clenched fist. I walked past the boys and sat beside Niall and Harry on the couch.
"Were going back to London. The weather is supposed to be raining." Zayn said glumly and we all moaned in response. Wait that's a good thing for me! Now I can cover up my arm! I hissed a "Yes" And bit back a smile. I shouldn't be this happy about that.
I shouldn't be this sad.