As days went by, I started to live without him again. I didn´t forget, just pushed the memory of him far away. Sometimes I wonder what he´s doing, maybe he is with her right now, maybe he is screwing someone else. Past few days had such an impact on my work as well, I can´t really concentrate, I am just looking outside the window all day, waiting for night to come, so I can lay down in my bed and cry again and then again.
I am currently sitting at my table, filling some paperwork, I have this urge to get a strong coffee, in order to make through this day. As I am walking to this little cafe we had on the top floor, a familiar voice approaches me.
It´s the man I kissed at that stupid party back then. Zayn.
"Zayn? Hey, what you´re doing here?",
"I just came for coffee, I had an interview today, for- for the paper",he sounds really nervous, touching his hair.
"Really? That´s cool", this is really akward to be honest. I don´t even know he is so well known, like he must be a male model or something, considering his jaw line.
"You have no idea what I do, am I right?", he laughed.
"I am so so sorry, I am just not really in my own skin these past few days, it would be awesome if you just casually told me", oh God this is embarrassing.
"I am a singer, I do music, I just got signed up by this cool label, so I am really good", he said in his strong accent.
"Oh I see, that´s why you and Harry, alright, alright, I get it now, anyway it was lovely to meet you, but I should probably go, I have some work to do..", I am just thinking if he does remember that night.
"Wait, uhm, can I take you to a dinner some time?", wow, that was unexpected.
"Yeah, sure, that would be very nice", what a quick respond, but I mean, why not, he seems nice, I would like some "nice" from time to time.
"Ehm, here, on this card there is my number, you can call me, or text me the details", I handed him my card and smiled at him.
"Great, thank you, it will be a date then, I am really looking forward to it", he smiled back at me and I am a little scared by the choice of words he just used. Date sounds so serious.
"Me too, take care Zayn", I smiled one last time and went to grab that coffee.
It´s 8 pm and I am leaving work just now. I should take a taxi, I don´t really feel like walking today. I waved at the nearest taxi I saw and stepped forward in order to get in.
"Mia", oh not him again. Niall is sitting in the back seat of the taxi.
"Oh I am sorry, you can continue driving, I´ll just take another one..", I said to the driver and turn myself away.
"Mia! Get in the car!", he shouts.
I don´t really have a choice, people started looking at us. I don´t think he is going to stop shouting anytime soon. I went into that freaking car and sat right next to him.
"So you got into stalking now?"
"I had to see you, Mia",
"How is Barbara?",
"I don´t know, we are not together",wait, did he just admitted they brokre up? I don´t know what to think right now. He is just looking at me with his eyes and suddenly I am weak.
"What do you want from me Niall?",
"I want you Mia, can´t you see? You make me crazy, you drive me crazy, everything about you is just crazy and I am obsessed with the thought of you, please say you´ll be mine", he grabbed my hands and squeezing them really hard.
I want him, I really do, something is draggin me to him, I just can´t explain it. But. I started to cry.
"I told myself not to do this again, not to fall in love, not to get emotionally attached to someone, I don´t like it, and I don´t want to do it, I want to learn what I really want because my needs are obviously ridicilous. Everything about you is confusing, you´re making me confused and I don´t like it. I-I can´t be with you Niall, even though I want to."
In this moment we both admitted we like each other, in a very weird way. I don´t really know what to do, I just see my building from the window and I know, soon I´ll say goodbye.
"See? You want me, I want you, it´s easy Mia, don´t make this even crazier...",
"Bye Niall, and don´t try to track me, or whatever you do, just let me go", I got out of the car and immidiately started crying.