Dear Diary...

For the Dear Diary competition. This is gonna be weird, I can tell.


29. June 17th 2015

So I had my braces tightened yesterday. They hurt so bad, like my two bottom front teeth are being pulled forward and down. Plus my top teeth are done and have had braces on for a year more than the bottom ones, so I don't get why I have to keep the lot on for another two years.

Unless they're gonna give me elastics. I hope not. I'll be studying abroad by then and the charge for brace removal where I'm going is ridiculous.

At least the pain's starting to go, due to this morphine painkiller I managed to take. Regular ibuprofen/paracetamol doesn't work on me, as I've discovered. Over a year and a half of hassle and pain already, with another two years to go, when all I've ever wanted from this is one extra canine pulled out.

I'm gonna have to withdraw from treatment, and find someone else to take out the extra canine. It's just not worth it.

I think the braces are having another effect, besides the pain. I have not changed my diet, or exercise, yet I've gone down to 5 stone 10 pounds. Not deliberately either, as I haven't done anything to lose weight yet it's just dropping off me. I'm 5 feet tall exactly, size 4, or kid's size 12/13, and my clothes hang off me. I've had to punch 3 extra holes in my belts, what were a size 6 trousers now scrape the ground, and every bra I own now hangs loosely on me even on the innermost hook. I can't afford to lose any more weight.

Literally. Even though kid's clothes don't have VAT on them, they're still pretty damn expensive. Same with bras. One bra in my new size costs £12.99 (checking the store website). I don't even have a sister size in the kid's range anymore, so I can't get the same for 20% cheaper.

I don't even know how I could gain more weight. I can't eat more as it hurts to, because of the braces, and I get sick if I eat any more than I do already. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here.

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