After Harry had finished cooking and had accomplished at not food poisoning me or anyone else, we all sat around the table in awkward silence. I wanted to say something but I just didn't know what exactly. I didn't like how quiet it was.
Suddenly my phone pinged loudly from my pocket and they all looked round at me. It continued to ring getting louder as I pulled it out of my pocket. I looked down at the caller ID. It was dad.
I put it down on the table staring at it as it kept on ringing. The boys were looking at me and I felt myself turn red.
"Aren't you going to get that?" Zayn finally asked as it kept on ringing.
I shook my head, and looked at Harry. He looked back at me with an almost knowing look. Maybe he could guess who it was.
It was still ringing and I wondered when it was going to stop when Niall said in what he must have thought was a helpful voice "do you want me to answer it?"
I shook my head again, still staring at my phone. Stop, I was ordering it in my head and finally it did.
"What's wrong?" asked Louis' voice sounding full of laughter "was it your boyfriend? Have you fallen out?"
"No" I replied "I don't have one."
"What?" snapped Liam suddenly, making me look round at him.
He was looking angrily at Harry. "Liam..." Harry started but Liam cut him off.
"So you lied to us then?" he continued scathingly.
I looked round at Harry wondering what was going on. He didn't reply looking guilty.
"That's not fair" added in Niall and he to looked annoyed. In fact now as I looked round at them all they all had various states of annoyance on their faces. Liam's was angry though, so angry.
"What have you done?" I asked Harry, wondering what they were so annoyed with him about.
Harry didn't reply at first, but then I raised by eyebrows at him and he finally explained "I told them you had a boyfriend."
I stared at him. "But why? I don't."
"Well I lied" he replied simply.
"Why though?" I asked, feeling a little annoyed but more confused.
He was looking awkward, not looking me in the eyes and biting his lip. "Harry" I snapped, and he looked up at me.
"God, no need to snap at me like that" he replied back and he sounded annoyed now.
"I have every right to snap at you" I told him echoing his annoyed sound of voice.
"No you don't" he argued.
"Yes I do.".
"No you really don't. You're not my mum" he said, now looking angry.
I felt angry to. "I know."
I don't know why I yelled, it just sort of happened and once I'd started I couldn't help carrying on as I rose from my seat. "In fact I wouldn't know how to be like mum considering I never had her around."
Harry looked on the point of shouting back when he stopped, looking at the ground.
"I'm sorry. I forgot" he told me softly.
"Yeah, you really forgot" I replied, crossing my arms and looking away from all of their stares.
"I did" he snapped back "and I'm sorry."
I felt tears stinging in my eyes now. "You're not sorry" I yelled.
He was on his feet now two. "Yes, I am sorry" he yelled back.
"No you're not" I shrieked "you've never been sorry about it. You don't get it. You've never got it because you don't know what it's like."
"Yes I do." His words were forceful and low, and he was looking quite scary actually. "She was my mum too."
I lowered my voice. "Yeah I know. It's just-"
He cut me off, and I realised he actually looked sad. "It's just what?" he snapped.
I'd been silly saying that. I never knew mum, Harry had, but even for him it would have been hard her dying like that. Maybe it was worse for him than it was for me.
I calmed down, tears still stinging in my eyes. "I'm sorry" I apologized quietly.
Harry didn't reply, he'd turned away. "Harry" I said gently and he turned suddenly, looking like he was about to hit something or someone.
I cowered back slightly. God he was like dad when he was angry.
"Your the reason she'd dead" he said darkly, and I felt something stab at my heart.
I couldn't say anything, I felt like I couldn't breath. I took a moment to realise I was actually crying now. He was wrong. He was wrong.
But no he really wasn't. She'd died because of me. I'd made her ill and she'd died because she gave birth to me, that's what caused her death. I'd trained myself for years to tell myself it wasn't true, that it wasn't me, but it was. I knew it was, but no it can't have been just me.
Tears were clouding my vision as I looked at Harry standing there. He didn't look angry now, he looked sad and guilty.
"I didn't mean it" he whispered "I really didn't mean that."
"Well it sounded like you did" I told him, anger distinguishable in my voice. Then I stepped forward back to the table, picked up my phone and walked to the door way of the kitchen.
"Where you going?" he asked quickly and he was approaching me now.
"I don't know" I replied back, tears still in my eyes "just away from you."
He stared at me and I stared back. He looked like he was trying to say something but before he did I snapped "save it" and turned on my heel, walking out and starting down the corridor.
"Annie" Harry called, and I looked over my shoulder. He was rushing after me.
"What Harry?" I asked, annoyed, not stopping, even when he grabbed at my arm. I wrenched it from his grip.
"I didn't mean it" he told me sounding a bit like he was pleading "I was just angry okay."
I didn't reply, stopping before the door. Just go, I told myself but I couldn't open the door.
"Please Annie, don't do this" he said softly, and it made me turn, look at him. He had tears in his eyes. I stared he actually was nearly crying.
I didn't know what to say. I just stared, my own tears falling from my eyes as he tried to stop his.
"I know it's been hard for you Annie. I know it must have hurt never knowing mum, but for me it hurt too, so much. She was there and then she wasn't, and I was left with a sister in her place" he was saying his voice sounding heavy with sadness. "I wanted to do my best to look after you, I swore to myself I would because that's what she would have wanted. It was hard though, so hard, and you didn't even know it though because you were just a baby. I dreaded the day I'd have to explain, because I knew dad wouldn't want to. He was depressed, and started drinking and hasn't stopped since. He used to be so happy and kind but then when mum died that all went out the window."
"I had to look after you, I've always had to look after you Annie, and sometimes I wanted someone to look after me. Dad wasn't looking after me, he was good as neglecting us. You're all I had to keep me going, and that's why when Jason hurt you I was angry because I hadn't realised what he was doing, I hadn't realised it. And when I did it was all too late. He hurt you so badly, I know you know that."
I nodded. It had been a while since anyone had mentioned Jason, and I really didn't want to think about him. Memories and the thought of what he did was painful for me.
"I tried to help, but by then you were older, and you weren't just a little girl, but I was still your big brother. I held myself responsible, and that's why when you pushed me away that i joined the band. I needed other people, I just needed someone because it hurt to much to see you all upset. I hated seeing you hurting, I tried to help but it was too hard because I'd realised that it was only me looking after you. It all became too much. And when dad chucked me out I knew I was leaving you all alone with no one who actually cared. I'm so sorry Annie. I didn't mean to get chucked out, I really didn't. I wanted to be there for you. You were still hurting nd I wanted to care and help you but dad chucked me out and I couldn't." He stopped and I realised I was really crying now, so much. He was to and I couldn't help pulling him into a hug.
"I'm sorry Annie" he moaned into my hair as we cried.
"Don't be Harry. It wasn't your fault. You were trying your best, you always have looked after me and it's okay. I'm old enough to look after myself now. I should be. But you're right I needed you because I was hurting so bad because of what Jason did, and dad just had to chuck you out at the wrong time. You've always been there Harry. You're basically my dad, I know that." I told him quietly.
"Annie I don't want you to get hurt anymore. I never meant to hurt you I promise, only help you" he whispered.
"I don't want to get hurt either, and I know Harry that you never meant to hurt me, I know" I whispered back.
"And Annie, I really want you to stay. I want you to stay here with us" he told me.
I sighed. "I don't have anywhere else to go now anyway."
He nodded. "I know, that's why I want you here with me, so I can look after you again."
"Harry I don't need looking after anymore" I told him.
"Maybe not, but I still want to be here for you, I still want to make sure you don't get hurt" he replied and he looked down at me, brushing away my tears. "Okay?"
I nodded. "Okay."
He sighed suddenly. "That's why I lied about you having a boyfriend to the others. And this is why I gave them rules."
I blinked. So these rules came into this. "What rules?" I asked.
He looked at the ground. "You've been hurt too much, I don't want anything or anyone else to hurt you. This is all part of looking after you."
I cocked an eyebrow. "I don't get it. What are these rules?"
He sighed again, taking his arms from around me.
"When you were out, I set some rules. I'd already told them you'd probably be staying now, and well it was obvious to me something might happen" he started to explain. I was feeling curious now. "You're a girl and their boys, and I know things might happen if we're all living together, so I set them rules."
"But what are the rules Harry?" I asked desperate to know.
"Don't try anything" he replied.
I nodded and asked "you mean with me."
"Yeah, I mean no flirting or trying to get you to like them." He replied.
"And the other rules?" I asked.
"No dating you" he replied, "because obviously they'd be breaking rule one, and it would be awkward since they're my friends and your my sister."
"Yeah, I suppose" I replied quietly. "Any more rules?"
He shook his head and replied "just ones sort of based around that."
I nodded. "I get it."
"You do?" he asked, looking happy.
"Well yeah. You don't want me to get hurt. I'm sure they wouldn't hurt me, but yeah your just being protective I suppose."
"Yeah, like brothers should be to their sisters" he replied with a slight smile.
I nodded. "But not too over protective" I warned him. I was fine with his rules, but if he became too overprotective or rule enforcing to the others it wouldn't be good.
"Okay" he replied "I won't be."
I nodded and then said with a slight laugh "I said no more crying, and then what do I go and do? Cry again."
Harry laughed too and as I turned he put his arm round my shoulder giving me a squeeze. "No more crying. From anyone."
I nodded in agreement as we started to walk back to the kitchen.
"And no telling them about me crying either" he replied in a low voice looking threatening.
I nodded, giving him a fake smirk as I said "sure. Your secret's safe with me."
He smiled back, and I couldn't help it I smiled too. I'd got my brother back!