When I woke up I felt horrible. I felt sick, my head was throbbing and I swear if I was going to move I would just throw up. I groaned to myself, flipping the covers feebly off me with one hand, curling my legs up to my stomach. Maybe being cooler would help, that was my idea anyway.
I suppose it helped a bit and I rolled over onto my back rubbing my eyes. I stopped, noticing a shaft of light creeping out between the curtains. I frowned. It was bright sunny sunlight. What time was it? I rolled back the other way turning my phone on and checking the time.
I sat up fast, then wished I hadn't, my head spinning and the sick feeling in my throat throbbing. Once the dizziness had cleared, I check the time again, sighing. It was afternoon, which means I'd totally over slept my usual waking up time which I set myself. I groaned again, laying back down, rubbing my soar head and swallowing. I just felt like poo right now.
But I needed to get up. I persuaded myself of this fact sitting up again, and hauling myself out of bed some how. My legs wobbled as I stood up, the sick feeling just making me feel disgusting. I pulled on a dressing gown, doing it up hastily and slugging off out of the room, literally dragging my feet. God I wanted to go back to bed, but no I told myself.
How I managed to get down the stairs without falling over or being sick I don't know, but when I reached the bottom I caught a glance of myself in the mirror which really made me feel like throwing up. I looked horrendous, but to be honest right now I was to preoccupied with not falling over and just going back to sleep on the floor to really care.
I sighed, forcing myself into the kitchen, and slumping myself down into the seat between Liam and Niall not even registering anyone.
"Woah, you looked rough" I heard Louis' voice say, and I just made a noise in reply dropping my head down on the table my arms around my head.
"Are you alright?" asked Harry "I thought you were just tired, but you look ill."
"I'm just fine" I muttered sarcastically, then said next my voice hoarse "do I look okay to you?"
"Er, no" Harry replied awkwardly.
"I feel like s**t" I mumbled, and Louis burst out laughing. I lifted my head to give him a look, ignoring him, looking to Harry who was looking surprised but also amused.
"You must feel bad. You don't usually swear" Harry replied, chuckling.
I just rolled my eyes at him, slumping back down again. "Go away" I snapped.
"Oooo is someone grouchy?" Harry cooed.
"Harry, I'm not in the mood" I mumbled, annoyed.
Harry started to retort back but Niall stopped him saying "give it a rest Harry."
I wanted to thank Niall for that but feared that if I opened my mouth that I would throw up. I just tried to smile, resting my head back down.
"Awww I'm sorry" Harry apologized, and I just grumbled back.
"How about some lunch?" asked Niall.
I shook my head.
"Or at least a drink?" he suggested next.
I shook my head a second time. I really didn't want anything right now.
"You didn't accidently have jam did you?" asked Harry now sounding concerned.
I didn't think I had, shaking my head. "I think I'd already have throw up if I had" I mumbled.
"Ah okay" he replied, then said "I've got some tablets somewhere."
I suddenly sat up properly looking panic stricken snapping "no."
Harry was already on his feet looking at me weirdly. "Why not?"
I looked embarrassingly away from anyone muttering "I have pharmacophobia remember."
"Er you have what?" asked Louis looking confused.
"Pharmacophobia" I repeated quietly.
"What the heck is that?" he questioned.
I didn't reply, feeling embarrassed. Harry explained for me, obviously remembering, as he sat down again. "It's the fear of taking tablets and medicine and stuff like that."
Louis laughed and I shot him an evil look. He replied in his usual mocking tones "I didn't even know there was an actual phobia of that."
"Well there is" I told him, crossing my arms annoyed, as he continued to look amused.
"Ooo alright. Some one got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning" he teased.
I glared again at him, pushing my crazy hair out of my face feeling frustrated. He was so annoying sometimes, actually all the time, except maybe those couple of seconds when he had been comforting me last night. That was just what I needed right then.
I sighed as I thought again of this and leaned back on the table on my elbows propping my head up. Harry was looking at me closely and I looked back.
"What's the date?" he asked suddenly.
"Er, 10th I think" I replied, my voice faltering over the date as something clicked in my memory.
He gave me a knowing look, which I returned to him, dropping my head back down and feeling like crying now. It was Jason's birthday, and I really didn't want to think about it right now. I really hated him and have been trying to push him from my mind, but it being his birthday is not very easy to forget all that happened between us, and all of the horrible things that occurred.
"Now I think I know why I feel so horrible" I mumbled, and Harry made a uh-hum noise of understanding.
"What do you mean?" asked Niall curiously.
I didn't reply and Harry just explained unhelpfully "just something."
"Your hiding something" said Liam's voice, speaking for the first time this morning that I had heard. I couldn't help it, I turned my head to look round at him. He was looking nonchalant, but still in his eyes I could see it, that terrible aching sadness, which only caused me to feel so much more upset.
"Yes" I decided to reply truthfully.
"Who was that boy in the picture?" asked Liam next and I froze.
Harry cleared his throat and I lifted my head, feeling the tension lay over the room. I shared a glance with him and then sighed.
"Jason" I managed to say, the name feeling so familiar but so unwanted to come from my mouth. I felt as though just saying his name out loud was filling my mouth with acid.
"Who's Jason?" asked Niall quickly, wearing that same curious expression that they all were apart from Harry who was looking tense.
"A boy" is all I said, my voice breaking.
"But who is he?" urged Louis putting emphasis on the word who.
I sighed, rubbing my eyes and then looking round at Harry. He sighed too. "I think we should tell them."
I nodded, and the others looked round at us confused and eager to know what we were going on about. I got up from my chair. "I'm getting dressed first" I explained leaving the room, before they could say anything.
I dragged myself up the stairs, despite my headache and sickness fading slightly, still feeling completely like a slug slipping up the stairs to the top. I wasn't surprised though, it was Jason's birthday and I didn't want to think about him ever again. Except I have to now to explain to the boys, what happened.
I sighed, getting to my room, and having a shower before quickly getting dressed, not even caring that much what I pulled on. I ended up actually wearing what I thought was Harry's t-shirt but didn't really care, going back down stairs.
When I got into the lounge I saw Harry give me a quizzical look asking "isn't that my shirt."
I nodded saying "I think so, but it was in my wardrobe."
He shrugged. "Oh well, it suits you better."
I tried to smile, but failed saying "thanks." Then sat down next to him on the sofa taking a deep breath, looking around at them all waiting. "Where do I start?"
"Maybe show them the picture first" Harry suggested squeezing my shoulder comfortingly.
I nodded, getting up and finding the picture screwed up in the bin and trying to flatten it again, glaring at Jason's face and feeling like crying again. I passed it over to Zayn first who was closest and slowly they passed it round before it got back to me again.
I was particular aware that Liam was staring at me and when he caught my eye he asked "who is he?"
"Well..." I started off quietly, my voice not seeming to want to actually explain. I looked down at my lap, squishing the picture in my fist now, feeling all different emotions right now.
"He's a complete b*****d" Harry said for me.
I nodded, agreeing but then sighing and muttering "my ex-boyfriend" the words causing me grit to my teeth.
"Oh" is what Louis' reaction was to that. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head. "Don't say that. I hate him."
He gave me a soft expression. "What did he do?"
I bit my lip, looking round at Harry. "I don't think I can tell them."
He nodded. "Okay, I'll help you."
I thanked him but then said "I want to stat though." He nodded and I rested my head on his shoulder as he put his arms round me. I didn't really want to hear the story, I didn't want to say it, but I suppose they might as well know. It's probably why Harry is so protective of me, and is one of the main reasons that he's given them rules because he doesn't want me hurt again.
"Well before dad chucked Harry out, and when he'd joined the band, I met this boy. It's not exactly easy for me to get friends, since you lot were getting so famous, which seemed to give people a reason to hate me because of Harry. I don't know why, so when this boy seemed to want to be my friend I let him" I started off, my hands shaking as I tried to keep my voice steady. "But except he was a boy and I was a girl, and he seemed to have more than friendship on his mind, and..." My voice faltered as I tried to go on. Harry looked at me as though to ask whether he should take over but I shook my head, not looking at any of them. "He... he made me fall in love with him. I don't even know now whether I really did like him or whether I was just under a sort of spell because I was so lonely."
"Anyway, to start with it was okay, and I was happy, well at least I was until everything started going wrong" I explained, not being able to face looking at any of their reactions right now. "Then he started getting a bit possessive."
Harry stopped me there saying "not a bit Annie, very."
I sighed. "Yes very." I agreed then pressed on. "He made me do things I really didn't want to do, and I know what you're thinking." I then looked up to see the expressions on their faces which I thought I would. "Yes, those sorts of things, but not only that. He was bad. I didn't even know it at the start but then he started making me shop-lift and steal with him, and I learnt that that's what he'd been all along, a bad person." I looked away from them again, feeling tears stinging in my eyes now. "At first I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't, he wouldn't let me. I really didn't want to steal things, I promise you I never did It because I wanted to, but I had to. He made me do it, and... and I was scared of him."
I broke off unable to go on now, feeling tears splashing down my face. Harry comforted me whispering to me "it's okay Annie. It's okay."
I shook my head. "No it's not okay. I did some really bad things."
"But it wasn't you Annie. Jason made you do those things, it not your fault" he desperately told me, as I cried.
"But do you want to know the worst thing of it?" I mumbled. "I still loved him."
I then became too overcome with tears, my vision all blurry. Harry rubbed my back, trying to wipe my tears away, whispering comforting words to me which I didn't even record.
"It's okay" said a voice, which did record. I turned my head. It was Liam. "It's wasn't your fault" he told me softly, and despite how many times I'd been told that by Harry for once I couldn't help it, I nodded, and actually believed it was the maybe the truth for once. Maybe it wasn't really all my fault what had happened between me an Jason.
"I sense this isn't all of the story" Louis chipped in, and I looked round at him nodding.
"Harry, you tell the rest" I mumbled, not wanting to, and not actually thinking I could tell them even if I thought they should know.
Harry nodded, squeezing my hand and clearing his throat. "Well after about a couple of weeks of this going on, I met Jason. I didn't think he was a bad guy at first, and Annie didn't tell me then what was happening, so I thought it was fine. Then when I was at the club I heard something bad about him, about how he shop-lifts and stuff. I didn't know whether this was true." He paused for a breath, as I closed my eyes, not wanting to actually see any one or actually hear him. But still I listened.
"The next night Annie went out with Jason of course. I should have said something to her, but I didn't, and let her go without saying anything. I didn't;t know what they were doing, but turns out Jason was planning something bad."
I stopped Harry. "My turn again." I decided, opening my eyes, and taking a calming breath. "We were supposed to be going on a date to this fancy restaurant, but it turns out that's not what he really wanted us to do. He took me instead to this museum, and..." I broke off, but then forced myself on. "I was all dressed up and everything and he made me climb up onto the roof with him. Turns out he wanted to steal this really expensive diamond, and he wanted me to help him."
I sighed. "And I let him make me. We climbed down into the building, he disabled the alarms and everything and we headed to the room where the diamond was. It was night so there wasn't anyone, not even any guards, so we got to the room easily. He made me go into the room, and get the diamond from the case, and it turned out he didn't actually turn off all the alarms. When I picked it up..." My voice broke suddenly, tears rolling down my face. "And shutters started coming down, lasers everywhere, and I was the one holding the diamond when I didn't even want to be there. Jason, took the diamond and he... he left me."
"I couldn't do anything, I couldn't get out without walking through the lasers and the shutters were down. So I called Harry, and I told him what had happened, and what Jason was. And then the police came."
My voice had started to shake, my eyes flooding with tears and my breaths painful in my chest. "They hand cuffed me and took my out to the police car. Then Harry came, and we tried to explain that it wasn't me, and so they went after Jason. They found him, and..."
I couldn't go on. Harry continued, not even looking for me to approve. "And then they were trying to hand cuff him, and I was mad at him, tried to beat him up, but the police men kept me off him." He looked round at me. "He was shouting at Annie though all throw me trying to punch him, saying things to her that really must have hurt her."
I nodded definitely at this, his voice echoing in my head, causing more tears to run down my face. He sighed going on.
"Then just before the police managed to get him in the car, this man turned up out of nowhere, tackled the police men, and took Jason and Annie. I ran after them, and Annie was trying to get free but Jason and who was actually his dad both had a hold on her. Then luckily for us, the police caught up with us, I managed to get Annie, but both managed of them got away from the police. Turns out they were actually were wanted men by the police."
Before Harry could go on I spoke up again. "I'll never forget what he said to me just before he ran off. Those words haunt me all the time. 'It may be over, but I'll always know where you are don't worry. I can find you again no matter where you are, and then you'll be sorry.'"
My voice was quiet and sad, and it was extremely hard for me to avoid just breaking down right then. A stunned silence was over the room, no one spoke, or made a sound, afraid to do or say anything right now I think.
"He never even loved me in the first place" I whispered more to myself than anyone else. "And what he made me do, I'll never forgive myself for it."
There was silence again, but then a voice spoke out, and I looked up meeting Liam's dark sad eyes. "You're not a bad person Annie" he told me softly, and I couldn't help but stare into his eyes. Warmth spread over me, and I couldn't look away, it would hurt if I looked away, I wouldn't have that comforting feeling.
Then I reminded myself of Harry rules and that Liam would be seen as breaking them right now, so with a huge effort shifted my eyes away, back to the floor.
"I'm sorry Annie" Louis was next to sympathise.
I tried to smile my thanks but it didn't work. I just sighed again. "I don't think I'll ever forget what happened. I don't think the memories will ever stop hurting me."
"But that doesn't mean that you can't be happy" replied Liam's voice again, and I looked at him again. He said so many meaning full emotional things.
"I guess so" I whispered back, and this time I did smile just a little weakly at this.
"But then dad chucked my out and things went down again from there, didn't they?" Harry replied to finish the story off.
I nodded. "Yeah, I really needed Harry around, he was the only one who seemed to care and the only one I had. The only one to know the full story to. Ever since it's happened I've been hurting, Harry leaving me on my own just made everything feel ten times worse."
"But the important thing is now, that your here Annie, and I'm here for you" he replied.
I nodded again. "I know Harry. I know."
"And I'm sorry" he continued.
"For what?" I asked.
"For not being there for you when you needed me the most" he replied.
I sighed. "It's not your fault Harry, dad chucked you out, you couldn't have even if you wanted to."
He sighed and nodded to. "I know."
"But I'm better now. Well I think so. I'm here Harry and I'm happy" I told him.
"But are you?" he questioned seriously.
I didn't know how to reply. I shrugged.
"You've been crying a lot lately Annie" he replied.
I nodded. "I know, but I can be happy. I am happy."
"No you're not." It was Louis who replied to this. "Last night you weren't happy."
"I know" I whispered, and I automatically looked to Liam, who unsurprisingly was looking over at me. I saw in his eyes that little spark of something, maybe hope. Maybe he thought that I was sad because of what I said to him.
And I had to agree it was true, but I scolded myself for it. I don't like Liam, I can't like him. He can't break the rules, not for me. I don't want it to happen. But do I really?
"What was wrong last night?" questioned a concerned looking Harry.
"I was just tired" I lied, feeling myself going a little red.
"Yeah, but why were you upset?" he asked.
"I just was" I snapped, feeling annoyance surge through me all of a sudden.
Harry mock surrendered, and mumbled "alright, alright, sorry."
I calmed myself down. "Sorry" I apologized.
He replied "it's okay" giving me a little smile, as I rubbed my eyes, leaning my elbows on my legs. It was as though no one really knew what to say or do now. After the information they'd just learned I wasn't surprised. I felt as though they were all thinking about what they'd just heard, and I felt conscious that they were all looking at me. I wanted to say something but didn't know what to say.
"Have they found Jason yet?" asked Zayn suddenly, and I looked up at him.
I shook my head, feeling the tension lie over the room. I ran my fingers through my hair, leaning back into the sofa and sighing fed up of crying.
"Can we please do something else? I don't want to think about him anymore" I mumbled.
Harry nodded, squeezing my hand. "Of course squiggle bum bum."
I shot him an annoyed look, whacking him over the head with a cushion but rolling my eyes all the same. It did cheer me up a little, even if I didn't want to be called my old nick name, it still made me smile a little basically because it reminded me of old happy memories when I was younger, and not of horrible memories with nasty people in.
"Let's play truth or dare" suggested Louis with a evil looking smirk.
"So it isn't just the fans making up that you like truth or dare" I commented.
Louis nodded, sitting up straighter in his seat crossing his legs and looking excited. Harry was looking not so enthusiastic. He looked round at me, and he sighed, before looking to the others. "But no breaking the rules."
Louis hastily nodded, then clapped his hands together. "Right then, lets get going."
I sighed. To be honest I didn't like truth or dare, but it could be interesting and besides it may preoccupy my thoughts. Now I'd told them about Jason memories kept trying to invade my mind, but I was trying not to let them. I didn't want to think of him, because every time I did it made me feel like a really bad person, and remember his last words. He said he would find me no matter where I was and that fact sacred me.
I never want to see him ever again because of the bad person he is and after what happened. I hate him. He was the reason everything started going wrong in my life and the hurt he caused to me I don't think will ever be properly fixed. A small tear appeared in the corner of my eye at this thought, unnoticed by anyone as they were so absorbed in staring to play truth or dare.
Except one of them did see, and that person happened to be Liam. He was looking at me with a soft expression as I wiped the tear away quickly. I looked back, our gazes connecting and that same warm feeling tingling through my body. I couldn't look away and I didn't want to, but I told myself that I shouldn't be staring back at him like that. He shouldn't even be looking at me like he is, but the truth is he is looking at me, and I can't deny the amazing feeling that I have right now as I stare back into his dark, alluring eyes.