I woke up abruptly in the morning. At first I just lay there in silence staring at the ceiling but then suddenly what Liam had said and done last night came into my head and I let out a laugh, smiling at the weirdness of it. But I then sighed, rubbing my eyes knowing that I'd have to face Harry today, In fact I've made up my mind that if he doesn't talk I'm going to talk to him. I just have to say something to him, I can't bare him being in a silent mood and angry and knowing it's my fault.
I sighed, getting out of bed and scooping my hair up into a loose, messy ponytail. I decided I'd deal with getting dressed later, but for now I wanted some breakfast, after all I didn't have anything to eat last night. I headed downstairs still in my pyjamas, yawning to myself.
When I got to the kitchen I found that Liam, Zayn and Louis were all gone, probably in their beds now. I sighed thinking that all three of them would probably be hung over today from getting drunk.
I headed to the fridge to see what was in there, opening it and peering in. There was a noise behind me and I turned seeing Niall walking into the room as he was trying to sort his bed-head look out.
"Morning" I called causing him to jump.
He soon recovered, smiling over at me and repeating "morning" back.
He then laughed pointing to my pyjama t-shirt and I looked down at it, not actually sure which one I had put on last night. It was the grey one with the white letters saying 'I'm either tired or hungry or both.' I smiled at it looking back up at him.
"Mostly true" I told him and he nodded.
"I need one of those" he commented.
I laughed, getting the margarine before I shut the fridge behind me deciding to make some toast as there wasn't really anything else to eat. He joined me at the kitchen counter saying "here let me do it."
"No, I'm fine" I said trying to not let him be his usual nice gentlemen self.
"No, come on, let me make you breakfast" he urged.
I shook my head. "I'm doing it thanks" I told him. "I have to do my own work sometimes."
Niall sighed then laughed lightly. "You're too nice sometimes."
"People keep telling me that" I replied.
"I like that in a girl" Niall said.
I blushed a little, smiling. "Thanks. You're nice too" I complemented him.
He blushed slightly at this mumbling "thanks" nearly knocking the margarine off the side.
I giggled at him. Was it just me or was he just so adorable sometimes? But then I quickly scolded myself at the thought. Don't even go there Annie, I said to myself in my head.
We carried on making breakfast together when suddenly Niall asked out of the blue "what do you see in Liam?"
I looked round at him confused to see sadness etched in his features as he looked at me.
"Er, why do you ask?" I questioned, feeling weary.
He shrugged, breaking the eye contact and keeping quite.
"Niall" I said his name gently, and he nodded. I couldn't bare his hurt looking face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" he replied, and then before I could stop him he rushed from the room.
I stood there confused, staring after him. What was all that about?
I quickly finished making my toast, eating it quickly and heading back upstairs. On the way to my room I met Liam who was stumbling out of his room clutching his head.
"Good morning" I called to him.
He winced, looking at me through hazy eyes as he muttered "please don't shout, my head kills."
"Sorry, but I wasn't" I replied, lowering my voice and stepping closer to him.
He looked down at me and then suddenly bit his lip. He then said to me "er, I was drunk last night, I didn't know what I was saying. I wasn't in my right frame of mind."
I nodded, giggling as I replied "I could tell."
Liam looked annoyed with himself. "What exactly did I say?" he questioned.
I smiled at him, trying to not laugh again as I replied "something about bunny rabbits."
Liam turned red, avoiding my eyes as he mumbled "damn."
I giggled, causing him to look down at me. "Sorry about that, I don't think I should have got drunk."
I shook my head and accepted the hug which he gave me. I sighed, leaning on his chest, feeling sad.
"Do you think Harry will come out today?" asked Liam quietly, kissing the top of my head.
I shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm planning on talking to him anyway."
Liam nodded. "I'm going to wait until he talks to me before saying anything."
I sighed, slipping from his arms. "I'm going to get dressed now."
He nodded, rubbing his head. "I think I'll go back to bed."
"Okay" I replied and smiled at him adoringly as he then hauled himself back to his room. I couldn't help but think of how he had been last night, it was so cute it made me love Liam even more.
I sighed. I wasn't looking forward to talking to Harry but it was going to have to happen sooner or later so I would have to get my courage up.
I made my way back to my room, deciding what to wear today and going to have a shower. Once I was done, I changed into my chosen clothes, brushed my hair out and left it hanging loose, before standing with my eyes closed trying to remain calm. I was going to be alright I told myself. I then checked the time deciding that Harry would probably be up by now and heading from my room.
I stood outside his room for a few seconds before sighing and knocking on the door. There was no reply but I heard someone move inside the room.
"Harry" I called through the door. No reply again. "I know you're in there."
I heard a sigh on the other side of the door and sighed myself.
I had two options now - go in and talk or wait for him to come out and probably shout. I chose the first option saying "I'm coming in" to warn him before pushing open the door. I expected him to be sitting on the bed but he wasn't, in fact it took me some seconds to figure out where he was.
I soon found he was sitting out on the balcony off his room. I stood there looking over at him. He possibly had the best view of the sea and plus he had a balcony to view it from which was an extra incentive but I couldn't it enjoy it at the moment.
I quietly stepped towards him. He acknowledged me with a look, but soon looked away staring moodily out at the sea. I sighed, sitting down in the chair opposite him.
"I know you're angry" I mumbled "but, I-"
Harry cut me off suddenly. "I'm not angry at you Annie." He looked round at me. "I'm angry at Liam."
I sighed. "Don't blame this all on him Harry please. This is some of my doing to."
"But you don't have any rules to break though, you're not at any fault" Harry snapped at me.
I gave Harry a look. "Really Harry sometimes you don't use your sense" I said to him incredulously.
Harry frowned at me and asked moodily "what's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean don't you actually think that I might have let him break the rules because I loved him" I replied.
Harry stared at me, and looked away. "Annie, but it's his fault, he made you fall in love with him."
I stood up suddenly, turning away annoyed. "Harry how can you be so heartless sometimes."
"I'm not heartless" Harry defended himself.
I couldn't look at him right now, I was too annoyed with him. I don't think he understood anything.
"Look Annie, I know you're trying to make sure that I don't shout at Liam but-" he started.
I stopped him snapping "you don't understand do you?"
"Understand what? You're obviously trying to say something, well then tell me what you mean" Harry argued, sounding angry.
I turned abruptly looking down at him feel annoyance bubbling. "I tried so hard to resist him, really Harry I did. I tried so hard to make sure Liam didn't break the rules. I tried Harry, I did. He wouldn't give up on trying to break the rules though. I told him he shouldn't but he never even listened to me."
I felt tears stinging in my eyes now. Harry looked like he was going to say something but I stopped him carrying on.
"I've been hurt so many times Harry and I know the rules are there to protect me but Liam has only ever wanted to help me, I wish you understood that. I've been hurt so many times, all I ever wanted was to be loved, actually feel like someone wanted me for who I really am. But you'd never understand that because all you ever go on about is protecting me. You don't actually see what makes me happy, you treat me like I'm a little kid, I'm not young any more. I may be your little sister, but I'm old enough to know a little bit about what I want."
I dropped back down to the seat, brushing tears away. Harry was staring at me.
"I'm sorry Annie" he apologized and he reached out for me but I rejected him.
"Why can't you just understand it all?" I muttered, breathing in deeply and looking at Harry hurt in my eyes.
He looked at his feet. "I just want to be your big brother, I just want to protect you from harm."
"I know that Harry" I snapped, and then calmed down again lowering my voice. "You are my big brother, always will be and I love you, but I think you've got to realise I can make my own choices to in life to, I don't always have to be protected by you."
He was silent looking at the ground. I sighed, getting up.
"Harry, I know you're angry and I know that you only want to protect me but please, Liam was only trying to make me happy. Please don't be too hard on him."
And then I went back through his bedroom and out of the door. I stopped myself from crying, I felt sad but I had to deal with it. I keep crying these days, I need to learn to be strong. I just wish I could make Harry understand, I just wish things were simple but they aren't.
I sighed, heading down stairs. Even if I was both annoyed and sad I still felt a bit of relief as well. I'd finally said to him what had been nagging at the back of my brain and letting it out, even if a little hard, made me feel a bit better.
I got to the kitchen deciding to get a drink, sitting down at the table and sighing yet again. The only good thing I could think about right now was the fact that I wasn't crying and there was nobody about to make me more confused either. Harry hadn't talked yet to Liam either so for now things in the house were rather quiet, not quiet peaceful because of the also tense atmosphere but they were quiet. It was the sort of mood where you just have to sigh and prepare yourself for what might come.
Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. I turned my head expecting it to be Harry but finding it wasn't. It was Niall, who was still looking sad. He came into the room as I stood up and caught sight of me. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong again but before I could he'd turned back around and rushed back from the room again. I stared after him. What was up with him?
I stood their contemplating what to do. I could go find him Niall and talk to him or I could go back to Harry and see what he had to say. Either option meant I had to talk to and I'm fed up of talking and trying to work things out. Instead all I wanted to do was not talk at all and for everyone just to understand and be at peace with each other. That was never going to happen though.
I decided to go for a walk on the beach, heading to the hall, putting on my shoes, and deciding to put on Liam's hoodie which he had said I could keep which was on the coat pegs. I pulled it on, putting my hands in the pockets and leaving the house. It made me feel comforted and almost as though he was hugging me, when in fact he wouldn't be able to do that right at this moment due to Harry being angry with him and the whole rules thing.
It made me feel sad that Harry had ever found out but I guess I only had myself to blame. I had made the mistake of shouting out loud to Liam that I loved him. I wish I hadn't done that now but it was unpreventable. I was panicked and relieved that I'd found Liam again and it just slipped out.
I started to walk towards the sea slowly, along the sand, breathing in the fresh salty air. It made me feel better, more at peace and as though every thumping wave against the shore was my heart beating steadily when in fact my heart was racing along at the thought of all of what was going on.
I heard the voice behind me. At first I'd thought I'd imagined it but then I realised who it was. Their voice I could recognize anywhere.