Behind that smile

They told him he was worthless
Girls rejected him
All he wants are friends
His mother died last week
His fathers in jail
He lives with his cousin
Tears fall down
He cuts his wrists
He takes the pills
He sleeps peacefully with the angels

(I made that poem about suicide) ^^


16. every thing

Liam's POV

20% of me feels bad and the other 80% is happy about how I treated Niall. I don't get it. "Liam!" Nikki calls from downstairs. I walk down stairs to the table where the boys, Lucy and Nikki are. I take a seat. "Okay well me and Nikki are very mad at you guys but we've decided to forgive you but not forget it." They nod. "Okay."

"Let's play a game." Nikki says. "It's called what are you sorry about?"

"I'm sorry that I was a horrible person. Being the oldest one in the group I should've been there for Niall and helped him like he was my younger brother but instead I bullied him and I'm sorry Niall. And I'm also sorry to you Nikki because you could've died in that plane crash but you didn't and I'm soo grateful for that. I should've let you stay and maybe Niall would still be here." Louis says. "I'm sorry to Niall because I also bullied him and treated his like a grain of sand. He did deserve to be in the band and I miss him soo much I wish he was here. And Lucy I'm soo sorry because I've treated you like you know how a proper gentleman shouldn't and I'm sorry, I'll treat you better." Harry says. "I'm sorry to Niall. I teased him and made him feel worthless. We gave him no sympathy when his ex girlfriend Megan cheated on him and when he thought Nikki was dead." Zayn says. And it's my turn. "I'm sorry I was born because if I wasn't, Niall would've been here right now. Next to us probably eating." I say. "Well I'm sorry I let Louis kick me out. And I'm also sorry that I didn't help Niall enough."

"Are you kidding? You and Lucy helped Niall soo much!" Louis says. "I'm sorry let the guys threaten me into not telling Niall Nikki was was actually alive." Lucy says. "Okay now for the surprise." Nikki holds up 6 notes. "Niall's suicide notes to each of us." We all go to our room to read them. Mine said,

Dear Liam,

Hey Liam! It's Niall. I decided to write every one a suicide note... I know you still hate me... I never knew why. But my favourite quote of yours is, "maybe if Niall wasn't in the band we would've come first." -Liam Payne. Yeah, you said that to me. You made me go through shit for 4 years now. You're supposed to be the responsible one!

Goodbye Liam.

P.S. I hope you guys release more albums.

Louis' POV

Dear Louis,

Hi Louis what's up? It's Niall I hope your life is filled with happiness and joy now that I'm gone. I hope you and Eleanor get married and have kids.

Seeya bro!

Harry's POV

Hey Hazza,

It's Niall here... Just wanted to say you have an amazing girlfriends and I hope you treat her right and stay with her till you guys die.


Zayn's POV

To Zayn,

Remember when you picked me up from hospital and we were friends for like 2 minutes? Those two minutes of thinking someone cared about me was the best 2 minutes of my life.

Lucy's POV

Lucy you're an amazing person. You are my bestfriend even though I'm gone I'll still watch you from heaven and if any one does something mean to you I will make sure they die. I love you Lucy BFFLS!!


(P.S. Look near your bed.)

I ran to the side of my bed and I opened the box and I saw a best friend necklace. I started to cry. Where's the other half I wonder if he has it? And the I looked at the back of the note and it had writing, "Also I was buried with the other half." I smile and lie on my bed with my necklace.

Nikki's POV

Hey there,

Nikki I know it's hard now but I think it's better off I'm gone. You're so beautiful and you will move on babe. I left you a present in your room.

Love Niall!

After I read Niall's note I looked around my room and next to my bed I saw a box. I opened it and it had a bottle of his cologne and a love heart necklace. (She got his spray because then she an smell him whenever she wants.)

Niall's POV (when Lucy, Harry and Niall were in the car.)

"It'll be alright Niall, just wake up! Nikki's alive you know? We kept it from you and I'm soo sorry for not telling you. I said I was your best friend! I'm pathetic. Best friends don't keep stuff from their best friend it's not right. Just wake up!!!" I hear Lucy cry into my jumper sleeve. I can't open my eyes and my breathing is slow "I'm sorry as well Niall. I should've been better. I hate myself for how I treated you. I'm a disgusting person and I feel worthless right now and I wish I was the one dying." We drive for a little longer and the car stops and someone picks me up and takes me into a cold building. Then I hear footsteps and someone snatching me. And as the people are running with me in their arms every thing goes black and I stop breathing. I look around and I see doctors trying to revive my body. How am I seeing this? I walk around and start talking but no one sees me. I died... I run to the front desk and I shout at the lady it's like I'm not here she's not answering me or reacting. I turn around and see the boys and Lucy. I take a seat near Lucy and play with the necklace around my neck. I got Lucy and I a best friend necklace each it's a love heart saying best on one side and friend on the other. I know it's kinda strange for a boy to have something like that but I want to to always remember me. A few hours later a doctor comes out and Lucy shouts at the boys and pulls the doctor behind the wall. I go with them. "How is he?"

"I'm soo sorry. He didn't make it."

"Okay." She walks out slowly and Harry walks with her. "is he okay?"

"NO!"she snaps at Harry. "Get the hell away from me!" She shouts and runs away and she ran every where until she reached a point where she couldn't run anymore. She broke down right there, she falls to her knees and laid on the pathway. She puts her phone to her ear. "Nikki?" She pauses. "He's dead." She burst into tears again. "No I'm not! Why would I lie about something so horrible?" She puts her phone back in her pocket.

*skip a week*

It's been a week since I died and it's my funeral today. Nikki flew over. She's getting ready for the funeral in her room. "Nikki?" Louis asks cautiously. "What?" She says with attitude. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine you don't forgive me I can see in your eyes. I'm sorry for every thing! I hate myself now I want to die. I'm worthless I'm a worthless bully, I'm a dick head and I'm a loser I don't deserve to be in One Direction I was wrong and I will never forgive myself." She rolls her eyes and a tear escapes and folds down her cheek. "Just get out." She shakes her head. Wow so Louis cares? He only cares now because I'm dead? Fuck life I'm happy dead.

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